Escort challenge

Happy May, new month to start changing ourselves! I hope your all doing well. Had me some odd dream last night, can be a trigger if I let it. Anyways I say we can do this, or is totally possible to beat this is.

 

Yup,

May the Force by with you.




So, yesterday i'v felt PM one escort site, but I didn't meet anyone. I'm codependant, yes. But I'm proud to had the good reactions at one moment.

 

Happy May guys! lets do this shit!
I feel confident and motivated about the future!

 

Not always. But dawned on me long ago that I might have some codependence issues. Grew up with parent alcoholic, siblings in heroin, emotional neglect, abandonment and emotional incest.
Started with CoDA meetings Feb 2019. There I realized I have sex addiction issues. Then started with SLAA meetings last July.

 

I agree with you. For me, I was angry with a fellow coworker when he degraded me in front of others. I was pissed off.. As soon as the online meeting ends ( we are still in a quarantine), I went to my bedroom and just jacked off three times out of anger. After that I was exhausted... but it made me think of how much I really do escape my problems either by doing sex or jacking off multiple times in a day forcing myself to be exhausted to the point where I don't have to think about his awful words.

 

Also, for many days I have felt this.. if I don't jack off, I feel my day has not "completed"... do you all ever feel like this? If I jacked off or have sex, I feel that my day is indeed complete.

Do you all feel this too?

 

Like „something is missing ... „ ... yes. That was when I was still highly compulsive. Now when I‘m pissed off or frustrated I notice that this previously was the good reason for having some „fun“, spoiling myself cause I deserve it.
All acting out has the purpose to alter one‘s mood. Food, sex, substances, shopping ... shop for sex ...

 

I think I have sex addiction problem. Today I have been watching porn for 5 hours and just have 5 ejaculations today alone. I still want more! I just miss that I have no human connection. Yeah I have been zooming with my family and friends, but it's not the same. I don't have a girlfriend. i'm really feeling frustrated right now

I haven't had a single hug or shook anyone's hands for 2 months now. Wow...

 

Yes, this whole situation is not easy. Nonetheless, don't let it rule your day, your life. Maybe it can help to be touchy with yourself, except for that one part hehe. Rub your skin, massage your neck, your feet, listen to some music while you do it.

 

@kammaSati has some good advice. You can also try a hot bath to relax you, some exercise to release the frustration, and stepping outside to feel the air and breathe the smells (if your location smells OK). Smile at passersby and say "Hi" even though you can't get physically close.

Don't blast your brain with all that fake dopamine, because you already know that it doesn't help.

 

If I wasn’t so scared of getting arrested and I was able to cum I’d be with an escort every week but I never paid for sex because it’s illegal

 

Whats up guys! hope May is treating you well so far. So I had a pretty shit situation on last Saturday night and felt really lonely and hurt so I acted out on porn and went on escort sites/review sites. I also in my uncontrollable state ordered V pills prescription off the internet as I've used that in the pass for helping with ED/PIED, I didn't act out on getting escorts at least but If I had V pills left I'm afraid to think of what I would of done...... Felt so shit after acting out...I'm back stronger than ever though and I've my mind on what I need to do and will learn from this relapse.

When that prescription comes I'll be tearing it up and throwing it straight in the bin. At the same time my brain wants me to keep the prescription which I logically know will just end with me getting triggered some day and getting the V and going to an escort. I hate that I have them thoughts of keeping them.

 

I agree! Mine started with a massage parlor. It was unexpected. It’s not worth doing this even through it was unexpected

 

I do wanna go to Thailand and Dominican Republic were its legal

 

To me, this feels judgemental and therefore unhelpful. Wanting to do something isn't the same as doing it; doing it has consequences that go well beyond thought. (In this case, I imagine that "wanting" means not so much having the desire as having the craving. It's the same as an alcoholic saying that they don't "want" to drink but feel that they can't stop themselves.)

You're on a thread where people are sharing how awful the consequences are. I hope that if you could learn from the people here, you would realise that perhaps you don't want to go to a prostitute! One of my old teachers used to say that there were two ways to learn something: the hard way, where you do it and suffer, or the easy way, where you listen to someone who's done it and suffered.