26/90 I'm feeling a bit discouraged today. I'm noticing that I still have little interest in real sex with my partner. Even without PMO, my mind still wants to wander to fantasy and imagination. Those are the things that really excite me sexually, not real sex. I'm doing my best to stop myself whenever my brain goes there. I take a deep breath and focus on my current surroundings (like the room I'm in or the feel of the air outside) in order to bring myself back to the present moment and reality. I don't want to reinforce those wires in my brain. I'm almost to 30 days. I've tried this challenge many times before and usually fail at about 7 days. In some ways this has been the *easiest* run I've had, not because the urges are any less, but because my vision for the man I could be on the other side of this is so strong. I see so clearly how powerful and valuable I am. I also see clearly how porn is massively holding me back from reaching my potential. Seeing those things makes the choice to continue on very clear...even when it's difficult. Still, it's both difficult and sad that I can't feel much sexual desire for my partner. I want to believe that I can feel strong urges to have sex with her the way I feel strong urges towards porn and fantasy...but today it's hard to imagine that actually becoming my reality. Nevertheless, this is the path I've chosen and this is the man I've chosen to be. I cannot go back now. I know that porn has produced nothing good in my life. I further know that looking at porn certainly won't HELP my actual sex life. I cannot go back now. My sex life will be what it will be. Regardless, this journey must go on to completion. I find it very helpful to come here and just type out my thoughts. I often do this when I feel an urge towards fantasy. Thanks for sharing this journey with me.
2/90. I don't feel very strong right now. But I'm going to take the good days with the bad and keep going forward.
Thanks man! Appriciate that! I know that's the past already.. it's just another lesson to me, definitely i need to work on my drinking habit too! You stay strong and don't let the silly mistakes take you off the road!
Hey man I don't know all about this but this has happened to me and I've read about it! My understanding is that for a while we flat line and we sometimes don't have much sexual desire. But to my knowledge this will go away and you will feel your "normal" again if not even better. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking you're not making the progress you want to see. There is a reason it's a 90 day journey, and not a month! What you've done so far is incredible, but keep your head down and take it day by down. I'm very envious of your almost month long streak! Keep it!
Day 3/90. Felt better today than yesterday and continued with baking. It really helps to have something in your life that you're excited about! Felt some urges towards the end of the day I think from being a little worn out from baking all day and also some stress from doing some work work. Overall I think it was a good day and I made progress but I can't let myself get carried away. I'm excited to see some family tomorrow. This is the most optimistic I've felt in quite some time, but I need to get through this day before I worry about anything else.
Everyone has bad days, but if you start having them frequently, think about what's making them bad days. Best of luck with your next day!
I think that's still addiction, you want the hit only in another way. People often aske here: is it okay to fantasize about my partner/write erotic stories/my partner sending me nudes. In the end you and your partner decide what is ok. But everything is still part of the addiction process. But I believe it much healthier when your partner replaces P in your brain. And after weaning yourself of even that partner "urge" comes your natural sex drive, which may surprise you. (at least that is what I read) And it even may surprise your partner, because if you are needy all the time, how can her/his natural sex drive come to the fore. At least that is my experience. Good luck 23 days, 552 hours of the rest of my life 13 days of Yoga 1 week running, 3 times *5 km