2/90 I've adopted a practice I saw @bertranr doing (thanks for the idea friend!) which is to keep a record in my signature of days with and without PMO. As you can probably guess, the blue ones represent days I was "clean" and the red ones represent days where I relapsed. I think this is a brilliant idea and helps keep the perspective that a relapse don't mean total loss of progress. I may be back down to day 2, but look at all those blue days I still have! Great way to keep that fact in front of you!
I very much agree with this; both on a personal and a societal level we humans have to deal with not giving in (too much) to short term gratification on the one hand and making sensible long term decisions and sticking to them on the other hand. For many problems that we deal with, there simply is no "quick fix". One thing that I would add is something that I often forget to remind myself of; which is how far I've come over the years. We tend to focus on our current failings and challenges and forget to remember everything we have achieved and overcome in the past. A simple example: if you recently relapsed to PMO, that does not erase all the days that you did manage to stay away from it. Yes, it sucks to fall off the wagon but in stead of beating yourself up over it, you can also try to appreciate what you did well up until this point. Also if you've been in this (or any other self improvement endeavor) for a longer period of time: try to look back and see how much you've grown when compared to who you were two, three or five years ago. I am writing this as a reminder to myself, as well as advice for anyone else out there who has a tendency to under-appreciate their own accomplishments.
Day 5/90 Total clean days - 14 Total relapse - 2 Total hours remaining - 2040 I watched porn for entire day. One video after another and started edging and stopped. I didn't do a full PMO so I am keeping my streak but I know that I can't resist it next time.
Day 5/30 No PM (June) Day 498 at attempting this challenge Day 178 weigh training (M, W, F) Lifestyle: No caffeine, no alcohol and reduced desserts
@hermitthefrog Love it! Important and helpful reminder for all of us warriors who are constantly in ‘attack’ mode. In the midst of the chaos of life and commotion of the battlefield, we must recall and celebrate our current progress along with our past victories. Thank you bro!!
Checking in Day 20/90 Proud of myself for maintaining better self control. Met up with my parents to celebrate mom’s birthday at a restaurant by the beach. We took 2 strolls along the beach. Beautiful women everywhere! Walking, running, socializing. Some dressed in very tight clothing or minimal clothing (since it’s a beach). I did a good job with not staring or fantasizing. The old me probably would have returned home, allowed negative emotions to spiral, guilt, shame, self doubt, and then a relapse would occur. Today I’m feeling good. Healthy and confident. I’m happy with the person I am becoming.