100 Cold Approaches

Have you ever considered getting your testosterone levels checked?

I think that if you have low T, it's kind of hard to get spurred into action, even if your 'inner game' is on point. If you feel that you lack energy, motivation, confidence, etc. then low T is probably the root cause of these symptoms.

I got my blood work (just for free T and total T) done today and I am curious about the results. Last time I did it, my levels weren't optimal for my age.

 

4 approaches today

All were in the evening and on the streets.

The first one was a group of 2 girls. I asked them where a certain monument was. They were open to show me. The cute one started to ask me personal questions pretty quickly (if I'm single, if I'm a student, etc.). This allowed me to make the conversation more playful and less stiff. At the end of the conversation I asked her if she wants to hang out sometime but she said that she is engaged.

The other approaches were similar. I left my restaurant and headed for my apartment and I saw a lot of cute girls heading for bars as I happened to find myself in the nightlife area. It looked like these girls did spend some time in front of the mirror to make themselves attractive toward the other sex - I couldn't complain. Testosterone was flowing lavishly through my veins because of today's heavy gym session and the earlier approaches (I find that I feel myself being more energetic after an approach).

So I opened up with a few more groups using boring openers just to break the ice. With one group (of 3 girls), the conversation went personal and playful pretty quickly. After splitting ways, I asked the girl I liked if she wants to hang out but she was reluctant and declined.

Some guys may be interested in the relationship with my NoFap streak and this challenge. I might have to elaborate on that more deeply another time but I will say this for now: in my PMO days I would probably even get anxious just by the idea of doing this.

Total: 65/100

 

I did 3 approaches yesterday (all of them groups of 2 girls)

2 of the approaches were on the streets. Nothing special to mention. I'd say that I'm entering a phase where I'm more conscious about the approach and I'm more able to have a thought process going on during the chat. In the beginning of this challenge, the interactions with women were so absorbing because of the fact that I'm not used to it so that I wasn't able to detach myself from the interaction and think things through more clearly.

The other approach was in the park. 2 girls were picking flowers and I asked them something stupid (if smelling these flowers has health benefits - I know...). But they opened up pretty easily. One of the girls asked me if I was a poet and gave me a compliment, this allowed the conversation to be playful and at ease. I asked if she wants to hang out sometime but she said that she doesn't have time.

I'm going to do some stuff for school today, maybe I'll open up with another girl if I happen to find myself in a coffee shop or supermarket.

I have definitely walked some miles now whilst being out with the - albeit sometimes implicit - goal to approach girls. I don't see walking as a 'junk activity' though. However, sometimes I happen to wander around not even managing to do an approach. One could argue if that is a noble way to spend your time.

Total: 68/100

 

1 approach today

It was on the street and the chat went okay (it took a personal direction). When the conversation dried up I suggested if 'she wants to hang out' but she didn't really bite. Like I said, I have to work more on my 'closing game' as I think my invitation was a bit random. Although chatting about some basic and personal things is good to build a bit of a connection, suddenly suggesting to hang out can be a bit out of the blue... Maybe it's better to state that I find a girl attractive when the convo is drying up which will make asking for her number a more logical follow-up. The point is not avoiding the rejection, but at least feeling the rejection.

There were some more opportunities today, particularly in the bookshop. There were 2 birds I fancied who I could have approached but I couldn't think of an opener. One was looking in the architecture section so asking for her opinion on a random book would have been a good move. This definitely can require some creativity sometimes (although it doesn't have to be: you can be honest and say that you 'noticed' her).

Total: 69/100

Indeed, walking is an activity that has intrinsic value within the activity itself, although it is accompanied (and often seen as an insignificant aspect) with cold approaching. Speaking of which, might as well reallocate this thread to the 'Fitness' section and rename it the '10,000 steps a day challenge'. It just happens to be that I find myself chatting up random girls in my attempt in burning some calories!

I don't like to brag but there is now a girl I met a few days ago through this challenge taking a shower at my place. I'm now typing this whilst vibing out in my bed with my balls being empty.

Just kidding. I maybe have +/- 8 numbers in my phone now from this challenge. All led to nowhere (although I don't think I texted them all). The closest I have come to intimacy was a kiss with a girl I met on the same day as the approach (see post around the 40 approach mark). There were no follow-up dates, only 2 same day dates (1 including the girl I kissed). I will outline a success ratio when wrapping this challenge up.

 

I think that opener is very suitable for coffee shops or libraries where a girl is reading (or using it anywhere when a girl is holding a book). In the coffee shop (I did a few approaches there) I have used:

- "Excuse me, do you know when this coffee shop closes?"
- "Excuse me, do you know the Wifi-passport?"
- "Excuse me, is that a good laptop?"

But I haven't used the book opener yet. To be honest, I don't think it's that cringe. It really depends on how you frame it I guess. I think it's way better than these cheesy pick-up lines like "I didn’t know what I wanted in a woman until I saw you."

Like you said earlier, men have to stir things up a bit (I guess cringe is defined by a deviance from social norms that is hard to witness). The real man gets out of his way to get what he wants whilst not caring what other people think. You said it yourself: women wish that men did it more often!

 

Isn't this contradictory? Or are you just stating that the women you dated stemmed from interactions where you didn't make your intentions clear although you are advising me to make it clear through giving compliments? Because it looks like you had success with your intentions being a bit more vague which left her a bit puzzled about whether you're interested or not?

I appreciate the input.

edit: added a question/assumption

 

I opened up with 2 girls

One was in the mall. I asked a girl where I can find a shop where I can buy a notepad. This question was sincere though, if I'm really looking for something my brain will channelize the energy into making me ask the question to a pretty girl. It's just hard to do this on a default basis. The conversation didn't really went anywhere, the cleaning lady of the mall joined the interaction in order to help me because it was clear that I was a tourist who was inquiring for information. Afterwards it was hard to keep the gas going so the interaction dried up. Maybe I have to start reading a book about conversational skills (combining that with more practice through trial and error and trying out different things like suddenly going direct).

The other one was at the traffic light. I was standing at the beginning of the crosswalk and a woman was standing a bit behind me, waiting till the light turned green. I thought fuck it, I'm just going up to her to ask her where the closest supermarket is. She helped and showed me one. Again, I didn't manage to make it personal (it was also raining which made it a bit harder to make things casual). I don't regret doing these little - what I call - formal approaches as at least it's a good exercise for the initial act of approaching (i.e. opening up). Even if nothing comes out it (not even a personal conversation) then at least you did something a bit beyond the ordinary. I'd say that approaching is the hardest part of this challenge.

With these 2 approaches I had to think about the recent discussion between @ShotChaser and @Kowe.

"Would she suspect that I'm just opening up with an end goal that is situated in the romantic/sexual realm?"

I don't want to sound like an egomaniac but I don't think I'm leaving these girls indifferent behind after the conversation (like @ShotChaser said), even if the conversation is pretty mundane. Sure they'll forget me in a day or two (like I will forget them) but I think (let's say immediately after the approach) they tend to scratch the head whether my initial question was sincere or if I was just searching for a reason to talk with them. This probably gives them a bit of an ego boost as women tend to value male attention like nothing else (especially given the novelty of a real cold approach). If I remember the times when a stranger approached me (for instance, to ask the way) I felt a degree of respect for them or at least I was somewhat impressed (doesn't mean I automatically want to be friends or something) because opening up an interaction with a total stranger is so rare. I think that in a highly atomized and isolated society, being able to cold approach sets you aside big time, because - deeply - people yearn for normal interactions again as they know that all the social networks are destroying the fabric of society.

I agree with @ShotChaser that being too obsessed with getting laid isn't a good mindset, especially in the early stages of game. I really see this as a learning process where you have to be willing to move some mountains in order to get some results. It's like starting a business and immediately being frustrated about the fact that you can't buy a Ferrari. Game requires an extraordinary amount of humbleness and ability to put things in perspective. The irony being that you can smell the pride miles away when you are reading the work of certain PUA's. I think that's because the higher the frustration within the process, the higher the pride that it entails once they are getting results by bedding hot women they opened up with in the grocery store.

However, I'm not gay or asexual. Sure there are some - what is often called - hidden benefits of this process which can have value in business (like the mindset of abundance) and relationships in the future. The key element and rationale of this challenge is getting good with girls. But if nothing materially comes out of this challenge (besides that kiss), I won't regret it (and I would have done it again) because it has been one of the most experience-dense endeavors that has given me a good modicum of wisdom.

Total: 71/100