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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by StoicContemplation, Dec 12, 2020.
Really impressive, man. Very admirable.
Thanks for a reminder because of this thread. I gotta go out sarging.
Thanks for your support and interest, guys.
I wish I could update the thread more but I'm not actively approaching girls for the moment. I could visit a city during the day to do some approaches but I don't really like wearing the face mask which is mandatory in most cities of the country I live in (or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse?).
Although I'm only through 1/4th of the challenge, I have definitely learned some interesting things. I'm not going to romanticize this process, but I do share the sentiment when guys say that approaching can lead to learning more about yourself, your relationship with fear, etc.
I hope to keep this thread updated in the future.
Exactly. It is a numbers game and you have to go through a certain learning curve. The first approaches suck and eventually you'll get more comfortable with chatting with girls.
You are always free to embark this challenge or just post some experiences with approaching in the future!
I don't see this as 'my' thread. It's always nice if other like-minded guys embark the journey whilst having an outlet discuss these things.
I'm dealing with the same ''excuse'' if you can call it that. What if the girl you are talking to has her teeth rotten away under that mask? And we gotta be careful for the virus. I don't want to get someone in my family killed because I am desperate to meet women.
Thanks mate will certainly make use of it if I start doing it again
One thing I'd like to add is this:
My sister got cold approached today by a guy. He had a serious expression on his face and was waiting for my sister alongside a narrow track in the forest. He looked a bit serious and told my sister he had never seen her in that forest before, as he walks there frequently. My sister showed him that she definitely wasn't interested and slightly afraid aswell. She walked quickly to her car with her dog and this guy walked with her and told her he wanted to talk to her for 10 minutes and blabla. She obviously just went in her car and locked the doors and drove off.
Moral of the story:
- Don't be a creep
- Stop when the woman shows no interest or tells you this straightforward.
- Do it in a public environment where there is plenty of people around
- AND always SMILE
You don't 'overcome' fear like that though, nor would you want to. The fear leads to adrenaline which you can learn to harness. People wanting to learn to be unafraid are going for the wrong things imo.
You basically practice doing things while feeling fear. Nobody WANTS to do that in many ways, but it has value.
you can do it man, so stoked to know your experiences.
Great stuff, really enjoy threads like this!
I'm also one that's tried it in the past but given it a break for too long.
Just the other day while studying in the library a girl kept walking past me, pausing and looking at different books (in different sections, but all in front of me). I finally got up when she walked off, and made my way past her while she talked to a friend. I was checking my phone and walked back and she looked right at me as if expecting something. The electricity was real. Sadly I didn't make a move, but it's a reminder, in my opinion, that these natural approaches are way better than any form of online dating.
Regarding the fear, it doesn't go away, but one thing I have found that really relaxed me in the past was using day game during my normal routine.
I don't go to the park or library or wherever for an hour to meet girls. I just do my usual routine, go to work, study, shops, park. And because my mission is to get work done / buy some stuff / get exercise etc., the action of approaching a girl becomes second priority.
And because it's no longer the sole reason or even half the reason I go out of the house, it's no longer such a big deal regardless of what happens. The worst I felt was walking around the shops for hours and not approaching anyone. But a 15 minute drive to pick up milk where I may just happen to spark up a conversation with a cute girl there = priceless.
Regarding fear, anyone who puts themselves in a situation where they don't have something and they want to get it will feel fear and anxiety. This is inevitable.
For cold approach the goal is to change the relationship you have with yourself. When you are so at peace with who you are that you are aware that no one can make you complete because you are already complete as a person, that's when it becomes interesting.
You no longer approach women to get something but to bring compassion. You no longer communicate the need to have but to give, both verbally and energetically. This is the highest possible and attainable value. There is no longer a stake because you are aware that the results will not make you happier. All that matters is to love yourself before loving others.
If you feel fear, it means that there is something to get, whether you are conscious or not. And as long as you function in this way you are not free.
it's no longer fear at the end, it's excitement, and a desire to share. Which is the opposite of fear. That's self love and vulnerability.
It doesn't mean not seizing the opportunities that come your way. It means that you are focused on what is happening now. It means that you know that a happy future after working so hard on yourself is an illusion.
It's not a fight against yourself, nor is it about having more to exist in the eyes of others. it's about learning to take care of yourself in order to share that. That's freedom.
Yo bro, I had read the entire Topic and i found it really motivational, the last summer I made friend a famous Youtuber that makes pranks on street and pick ups girls, called Arman Abbasi, he is romanian as me so during that time with him, helping him to film and doing cool stuff , about a month, i returned in Italy , well the first suggestion that i can give is to use some nice Phrase to make the girl laught and also make her know your intention at first, I also want to improve with you in day game, the phrase that the youtuber used the most was "Sorry, can you help me to find... ( showing a direction with finger) your number? ( seeing her in eyes) just try this mate and tell me o think is overpower, also continue posting cause me too need some courage to pickup some italian chicks Good Luck!