100 Cold Approaches

I wish to be able to do so.

 

absolutely genius, but how do I get ride of 'first try VENOM' if I'm still stuck in the same entourage for years and years. I haven't made any friends, I lost quite a lot of them….. I know that u hate rearing it, but I'll try to overcome my psychological mind distancing. I'll try to socialize more….

 

I mean, look man. If what you are doing does not work, then you have to switch.

Whose side are you on, anyway?

The government, the cops, your grandma, and your boss are going to tell you
how to approach? Give me a break. It doesn't matter if you see a woman at Disney Land, the gas station, the dog park, the land fill, the post office, or on stage with Spinal Tap:
if you smile at her, and she smiles at you, her answer is yes.

So if you go up and get close, touch the small of her back and tell her she's cute,
she wants that moment to happen. But if you go in there and she backs away, then you've been rejected.

That is part of it.

But if you stand there, 3 feet away and ask her about her favorite color,
there's no sexual tension. You are the man. You have to build that sexual tension, or there won't be any.
And you will get rejected. There is no escape.

A woman is going to say, "EWWW you're a creep."
She will shrink away and say, "What do you want, weirdo?"

Any way that you can imagine getting rejected, and more, is going to happen,
it is a certainty. But don't run from the rejection. Embrace it.

Then one day it will happen for you. But what you are doing will not work in today's world.

Here's what you should do. If you see a girl, smile and say hi.
If she says hi, then do this:
Go up to her, keep smiling and get your sternum into her shoulder.
Keep smiling. Then say, "What are you looking at?"
Ask her if she likes your De Niro impression, try to do one.
You need to get in close and make her laugh.
Say something random and funny:
"I used to think I was indicisive, but now I'm not so sure."
She's going to fall in love with your confidence.

If you do this thing 10 times, you will get one.
Be touching her.

 

Listen man, if that works for you then keep doing it.

In fact, I'd be very interested if you could share a few stories of you going out and doing that.

I would not feel comfortable doing that personally, since we are talking about approaching total strangers on the street. I feel like invading personal space and doing impressions of actors they probably don't even know is far more likely to come off as disturbing than having a casual conversation that may or may not lead to the sharing of a phone number.

 

The main enemy of this process is ego
It's totally stupid to force things.
Do you know the phenomenon of separation?
You are free to think what you want of this woman. She is free to think what she wants about you.
By forcing things, you are forcing your way into her intimacy. You communicate to her that you privilege your sexual desires rather than the authentic connection.

You don't talk to her for her but to fill the void you feel inside. This is anything but honest and attractive. And trust me they see it. They're not dumb.
All the guys I've known in this process have fallen into ego. This need to have more because their value depends on external results. It's totally stupid and disrespectful to women (and yourself).

What StoicComptemplation does is totally adapted and respectful.
If he feels that he has difficulty expressing his deepest intentions when he loves a woman, he is in the best position to see it, question himself and try new things.
It's not just what you say that counts. In fact, it may be 5% of the interaction. You could go talk to a woman, tell her about the weather, and have her be very attracted to your kindness and the way you express yourself.

So... yeah, keep going dude @StoicContemplation !

 

Yeah man
The main problem in my opinion is believing that you have to behave in a certain way to please.
We forget who we are to get what we want.

Personally, I approach women by telling them the truth. Not to get something, but because I really mean it. I want to know them, to take them into consideration, to listen to them.

If they reject me or believe that I am a niceguy and that what I say is not honest and too "beautiful" to be true. That's okay. I love being rejected. Every rejection means "love yourself more".

Yesterday I approached an incredible girl and told her that she had really beautiful blue eyes. I didn't see that she was with 2 guys. They told me to go fuck my mother.
I was happy afterwards. I even wished them happiness.
To be rejected means to become little by little insensitive to rejection. No longer being emotionally sensitive to outside events. Learning to accept our emotions.

All that remains is kindness and love.
It is useless to show a certain image of ourselves that is false. Being detached when deep down we love this woman and would like to connect with her. Hiding things. Forcing things. It doesn't lead to anything.

ego is being attached to a certain image of ourselves.
When you know who you are, you don't care, you like to be too nice and vulnerable. You're okay with that. You're the one talking, not the angry, sad person you used to be.

This process should make us more human towards ourselves and people. Otherwise it's useless. It doesn't lead to anything but depression and anger

 

You aren't going to get arrested for asking a woman out.

 

Yeah, I understand that, but none of that psychobabble is going to
make anything happen.

It just won't.

I can formulate any excuse to avoid the approach. I don't need psychobabble for that.

What also works is; I'm tired, it's late, I don't feel good, I don't feel like it.

But remember this, that no matter what kind of approach I make,
she is still free to walk at any time.
Also, she's free to think what she wants at any time.

Another thing about authentic desires is that if I go up to a woman
with a bunch of friend zone talk, that is not authentic.

What is authentic is truth. She's hot, I want her. That is authentic.

And this might shock you, but she's ok with that. Look at the woman.
She's dressed up and made up. She wants it to happen.

All she wants you to do is try. I'm trying to help you increase your chances.

If you can get to 5-10% success from where you are, you can succeed.

But all this psychobabble, game, and player crap is a big lie and it won't work.

 

But does what you are doing right now work?
If so, then you should tell us.

 

I have made one approach in the day time. I don't have enough experience yet to talk about what works or what does not.

I can say that the approach I am taking, which is somewhat inspired by Stoic's method, has worked in that it gave me a goal that felt realistic to me which I followed through on.

It may very well be that if I put my arm around a stranger's waist and did my best Taxi Driver 'Are you talking to me?' re-enactment to her face that she'd take me home and blow me but I'm not willing to try it for it is a form of harassment and does not suit my personality type.

 

You are ignoring the plot to correct the punctuation, my friend.

 

You guys cling so tightly to gain her approval.

When you go up to her and talk about the weather, standing 3 feet away,
she thinks you have no guts.

It's because you don't have any courage.

You NEED her to approve of your approach. You NEED her to give you the green light.

And when you NEED her, at any time, in any way, then you are NEEDY.

That is why game is nothing but NEEDY behavior that has been rehearsed.

Show her instead that you have guts, that she can reject you, and it's ok.

Be vulnerable around her. Tell her a joke that is stupid, let her NOT laugh.

That is how you end your NEEDY behavior. You show COURAGE.

You have to take risks and BE YOURSELF.

Being yourself takes courage. Because when they reject that, it cuts deep.

But that is where the rubber meets the road. It is where you actually grow.

Courage is a thing that happens in the face of adversity.

Where is the adversity? It's in your own thinking.

The fact is that nobody cares if you get the girl, or how you do it.

So who are you lying to but yourself?

 

You watched too many red pill videos and PUA videos dude
So much anger and pride here
Courage lol what does it even mean. I agree vulnerability is a good thing but there's nothing wrong with being needy if you fully accept it.

You're saying just be yourself but the truth is, we can't always be at our "top level", make jokes, show creativity, sexual tension. This concept of being yourself doesn't even mean anything. We're changing, evolving, constantly. Every day. It's useless to try to be ourselves. It's better to just not care to the image we project

Do you wanna know what guys who are reading this will remember from your posts here ?

I'm not enough, I need to be more.

Do that contribute to their fulfillment in the long run ? I doubt it. Too much ego here

I think you still have something to prove to women and to yourself to have this point of view.
Touching her right away lol we're not in the jungle bro
You think you need to act a certain way to please a woman
"YOU NEED TO BE LIKE THIS, DO THIS, DO THAT"
I don't call that freedom

 

Stoic,
I just want to say, I've been following this thread and your journey for months now. I look forward to reading each and every day how it went for you. Thank you for sharing this challenge with all of us!

 

Alright, if I made you mad or feel like you wasted your time, I apologize.

 

Ah, ok. Well, everybody has to figure out their own way, I reckon.

My best to you guys!