Day 3. Relapsed after 70 days. It’s still hard to believe I threw that steak away. Still, as I had already completed the 60 day challenge I’m staying here.
Day 4/90! In 3 more hours I will have a PMO-free streak of 100 hours, which is nothing too great, but a nice achievement nonetheless, especially if you consider I have been relapsing nearly every single day the past two months before this streak. Have a great day and keep on fighting!!
Day 31. Not a ton to report today. I was in a really terrible mood yesterday after a stressful day at work but instead of just sitting in front of the TV we bought burritos and a beer and walked down to the water and watched the sunset. Then I came home and went to bed early. I was still feeling very anxious so I'm not sure I'd really call it pleasant, but it was a great choice and a lot better than just staying home staring at a screen. It was also nice to have a beer but stop after just one. Today I've got a mountain of work to get through. It'll be another stressful day, but there's zero chance that PMO will be a part of it!
Day 83 This day is the first day in like 24 days that I have been able to do 12 days in a row without a wet dream. When I started I had my first wet dream at day 21~24 maybe close to 30, I don't remember exactly. After that it has been about every 11th day but now I have passed day 12. What's more interesting is the fact that my energy is a little higher and a feeling of being "pure" starts to come back again. So to me these 83 days has confirmed that it's not only the days that counts. It's the number of days without a leakage of your semen that counts the most - according to me. People talk about nofap but not as often about semen retention. That's where the magic happens. You can build up your energy inside of you and become much more balanced and healed.. and I admit that I've been "lazy". It's true. Because flatines made me so tired for a while that I didn't complete all my daily Tao-exercises. But now I can do semen retention much easier compared to when I started this journey so I will do everything that I can to retain my semen this time. If I would have a leakage during my sleep tonight this would happen: * I would have more energy afterwards * I would feel a littlebit like crap, and even more the day after. * I would feel some electrical / nerve signals round my prostate area and the D. * I would have more sexual thoughts that would pop up. * There would be stronger erections because the lower parts had been "activated". * The day after that I would be more tired, and that could go on for 10+ days. * Then after day 10-11 the energy would start to come back. ** There's been a repeating pattern that I first had one wet dream, then two days after that I had another. It has happened in my earlier streaks too years ago. That really makes you feel a lot worse and that often lead to a relapse. But not this time. In these 83 days this happened only two times. Day 69--71 and also Day 47--49. The more sexual thoughts you let yourself have and the more stimulants that you take. The more likely is it that you are going to have a wet dream. Other things to avoid wet dreams: * Do not lay down on your stomach. Laying down on your back is ideal. * Avoid eating too much foods with lots of arginine, found in meat. Like in beef but also in peas and other things.
Day 1 complete, fell victim to dysfunctional stress circuits and hypofrontality, back to recovery, and no I did not fail a 40 day plus streak, just didn't reset my counter till now.
Already 8 full days. Today I worked out and took a shower first thing in the morning. I made a mistake however: grabbing my phone only to learn about bad news. Obviously that won't stop me from being productive but it's not ideal.
Day 84 All the way to around day 55 everything went so fast but now things are really slow. 10 Days feels like forever. Don't be frightened by me saying that. It's just my personal experience. Anyway.. It's less than a week for me to reach 90 days!! It has been really tough in many ways to do this but at the same time very easy. It goes up and down in waves. I've done it to heal myself and to change my life. I'm far away from done. I feel like for me, personally, 90 days weren't enough and there needs to be more than just NF. I also need to do other things and change other habits. I have much better self control now and are much more stable. Yet, sometimes I'm more emotional. Feelings have started to come to the surface that I have to deal with. I come back to this forum everyday because I have literally no one to talk to about this so this is like a freezone to be in.
