Day 73 Getting some glimpses of hope for a full recovery. A very dim light at the end of the tunnel so to speak
Day 2 Im still here! @CosmicCrusader and @Say_Goodbye - Let's tie these streaks together! Don't succumb to the urges! Let's gooooooooooo
Day 90 ! I made it! For the first time in my life I did 90 days on Nofap. But my journey is not over, I need to go on with this. I don't have a flatline anymore, or have I? I got energy but I've been bored for most of the time anyway. The time I felt the best was around, or between; day 20-45 or something. I've come too far to give up now. Thoughts of P have started to pop up again but I got it under control. It's just annoying that it's coming back. So I'm not done, I need to do more work. This is the toughest challange in my life, not NF by itself but actually to find healthy alternatives to all addicions, and to completely change my life. To abstain from PMO for 90 days was easier than I thought. I can't give up now.. if I failed and had to do 90 days all over again it would suck really bad. I't okay to feel a little bit bad during NF, It's nowhere near as bad you would feel when doing PMO. My training went up and then down, I wasn't consistent enough, then I hurt my arm and it still hurts so I can't work out like I did before. So I have to solve that problem as well.. it's annoying but that's just life. I haven't been out as much as I should have been but yeah there were certainly women that were attracted to me that checked me out and even followed me, especially in the beginning. Lately they haven't even looked at me so I don't know if I lost that "glow" but why should I even care about that..? Never let a woman's behaviour decide how you feel about yourself. Do never seek validation from women. Ever. Thanks everyone for your posts, likes and support. Good luck! I'm leaving this thread now.
Thanks Ice22. Congratulations to you too for making it to 90. Well done!! I think one of the main things I've learned over this past year on nofap is that yes, this is an addiction, and I am going to need to keep working on it for as long as it takes. My mind is gradually healing with the help of the longer stretches of time without PMO but it's not a problem that's going to just disappear any time soon. So my main advice is just to keep at it. Keep coming back here, keep starting over after a relapse, and keep reading the journals on nofap for insight and support, something I've found very helpful. For me it's been a process of gradually dropping some of the coarsest aspects of PMO and then working on more subtle areas of concern (ie, porn - psubs - fantasies - ogling - random thoughts). As I've struggled with it I've realized at different points that I need to drop that particular behaviour as well and have had to make a commitment to myself to take it on, although it hasn't been a straight line as at times I've been caught back up in something I had left behind for a bit. But there definitely has been progress and the urges to PMO are much less frequent and powerful than when I started. Overall my mind feels cleaner and more free. After my last relapse 51 days ago it was much easier to get back on the wagon, without the struggle I was used to during the first few days. I feel less shame in my life and a greater degree of self-confidence, although being less in thrall to PMO has brought light to other areas of my life that are problematic and need attention. For many years PMO filled a void and used up energy that could have been devoted to other things and now it's time to deal with that. But (much) better late than never! My relapse after 147 days came after a few days of heightened sexual sensitivity where I seemed to be reacting very strongly to any minor visual stimulus or touch. Of course, I got to that point because I was letting my mind pursue and dwell on them. I wish you and everyone here on Nofap success in reaching your goals. This community has been essential for me in working with this problem, and I get a lot of encouragement from seeing everyone's daily efforts. Even reports of relapses are encouraging when I see that people are coming back afterwards and keeping at it! What's next for you now that you've reached 90 days?
Thank you for sharing! It was very interesting to read. This forum has been a lot of help for me as well. Thanks to you and everyone else I didn't give up when I normally would. I can relate to the things you wrote. To have mental images showing up, or to fantasize often leads to relapse, and it really sucks because it can be very difficult sometimes to ignore these thoughts. I find it very important to daily remind myself why I'm doing this and to be very serious about it. I wrote down multiple reasons to why I shouldn't watch P again to remind myself every day of the pain that it has caused. I have also started to notice other problems in my life that I need to work on. I cut multiple addictions durig this streak to the point where I need to find other things to do, and other things to eat. It's like had built this "castle" made out of air where I was bathing in pointless dopamine for no gain: video games, stimulating foods, PMO, pointless surfing, etc. I wasn't compeltely unhealthy thou, but it became too much, all that dopamine made me dull or too lazy to do any meaningful things in life. But nofap has slowly started to change that. Thanks for asking. My next step after this is to be much more consistent in my training. I actually worked out today. NF will not work if I don't work out. I will do just like you and keep going with Nofap as my new lifestyle and never look back again. PMO is not an option anymore so.. either I'll improve myself and find a girl, or I'll just keep going on all by myself. The more peace we have in our hearts the easier it gets to be alone. I want to improve myself as a man and learn more about myself and strengthen my weak points. Today I will delete my P collection that I had stored and haven't looked at for 90+ days. And I will never EVER download or watch anything again. It's the road to unhappiness and an endless cycle of suffering. No matter if the videos can turn me on, or "trigger" strong urges. They're just pixles on a screen anyway. Real relationships are better. It's painful to delete it but that's just the addiction holding on to it (like Gollum "Myyy Precioussss!") and my old self dying. That's the pain that I'm feeling. It's not me that are suffering, it's my old self. And most important of all: I delete it to show myself that I have Self-Respect and that I love myself. I made a promise to myself and I will fulfill that promise.
@Ice22 Congratulations and I hope you keep posting on the site. I can't get over how much some aspects of our life are so similar. I too have to remind myself how much masturbation and porn have ruined my life when tempted to indulge in PMO. Good luck
Thanks, I'd love to keep in touch! I'm not leaving anytime soon. By the way: I just deleted all my 73 gigs of porn and I felt nothing while doing so. Before I started this streak I had downloaded and deleted porn videos for years and years, over and over again. This time is different. It's time to take control over my life and that's what you're doing as well. NEVER give up! You are doing fantastic work! Keep it up! Let's make men great again.
Day 0, again... Thank you for sharing! Now im pumped again to start all over.. i've been failing to reach my previous best streak which is 30 days after i relapsed then.. it has been a frustrating 4/7/8 days streak and i'll relapse... but i haven't tried to remind myself on a daily basis like you.. so maybe I'll start doing that too.. lets be great, men don't fap!
Day 3 Nice man! Congratulations! I have also noticed that 90 days is just a milestone. I did it once last year and then almost twice. But eversince I have been having longer and shorter streaks. I guess I haven't beat this for good, which is the reason why I have not left the forum. Yes. the goal is to never return to PMO, but I believe that constantly trying helps too! Every time it gets a little easier even if you make a mistake sometimes. Good luck to all of you on your journey and know it is worth it!