...and another day with cold shower , a lot of walking, body-weight and other weight exercises ,meditation, prayer and a bit of studying !
Thank you! I am feeling slightly better, though the last 24 hours have brought a lot of cravings. I have not given in, though I did catch myself starting to fish, so I stopped. I thought about how good it would feel to PMO right now, and then I looked at my streak counter on my phone and it allowed me to stop and breathe. I talked to my romantic interest, and after a conversation with my mom today (we went shopping for furniture for my first apartment), I realized that I am not ready for a relationship just yet. I care deeply for this woman and even though we agreed she would come to a decision within the week on whether we would would be boyfriend/girlfriend, or just go back to being best friends. However, after sleeping on it and waking up to realize that a part of me is hoping that she says she does not want to date, I now know that I have to talk to her again, because I am not ready to date when I am living in another city from her. On top of that, I know that if we are to ever go any further than dating (marriage for instance), she does not want kids and I do. And there are a couple of men that I know that are friends of my parents who are childless because of the women they are with, and my mom talks about how good of fathers they would have made, and I realize that while I deeply care about this woman, I do not want to commit to a relationship only for it to end down the road if only for my desire for progeny and her desire for not. Obviously things can change, and I feel like I could be giving up my only chance at a relationship, and I am realizing that despite that, I am not ready. Not yet. In the past, I was so desperate for a relationship that I would not have turned down any opportunity, and now I am at the point where I could be willing to turn her down as I have grown so much in these last few years, and I realize that I just want to be friends for now. Best, Mathman1994
Day 10 Half way to short term goal and feeling good! Today: cold shower, meditation, prayer, walking, good nutrition, ca. 8 hours of sleep last night. With work, it's been one of my most productive days in a week and a half! I've been really stuck, but an article I've been reading has helped me to make connections and get my brain off and going again. Also, thanks for the replies to my post yesterday. A lot of good insights. It's clear to me now that PMO never makes things better, but when you're in that moment of temptation/craving, it is so hard to remain rational! It is also clear to me now that every time I've used porn to cope with an unpleasant circumstance, my life has become worse! It's never an escape. It's more like digging my hole a foot deeper and thus making it harder to climb out of.
Checking in. Mountain bike ride followed by a lake swim in the morning, playing in the river with my son in the evening. It was a good day.
"What is better: To be born good, Or to overcome your Evil Nature through great Effort?" I think it's better to be born good, for you must had overcome your evil nature in the past life and now enjoying the fruits of your righteous efforts! Therefore it's an inspiration to be born good and to never give up on living your faith out in the world!
28 days , I'm extremely aroused. If I make it clean for next seven days, I'll grow in respect my own eyes. I can do this. I promise that I won't give in for next 7 days. I'll commit this right away right now.