THE SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE! What is your Power Level?! (RANKS ARE BACK, GET YOURS NOW!

Checking in, I came really close to failing yesterday.

I had a reconciliatory talk with my gf after a fight. Yet that increased my stress instead of decreasing it which was a mystery.
I got fantasies and while I was at the bathroom I masturbated for a little but stopped.
And luckily so because even though short it was almost enough to orgasm.

I then tried to calm down yet the stress insisted, clouding my judgment.
I saw some news about some singer, which turned to looking for pictures of her, which turned to looking at P videos.
Midway through looking at a P video (without touching myself) I snapped out of it.
I felt shocked and incredibly tense. Ashamed and guilty, saddled with a nasty sense of overload and anxiety.

I took the rest of the day to calm down and regroup.
Turns out I was stressed because I'm afraid to be close to my gf. We had a ton of arguments and fights the last 6 months.
Now that I'm in vacation back home all is calm and peaceful. And I'm subconsciously dreading going back to these arguments with her.
Which in turns creates a strong sense of anxiety. Anxiety then triggers craving for PMO, wired that way from years of abuse.
And then PMO makes everything worse. Luckily I was able to break the cycle yesterday, that's why I'm not resetting (this time).

This shows me that I need to work on my psychological health and life circumstances in general.
I don't think I can completely heal my PMO damage if I treat it as a standalone thing.

And so it will be done. I'll dedicate the next week to my mental health using CBT to fix some things and communicating truthfully with my gf as well.
I want to push forward, I want to feel better and healthier. I want to have more PMO free days.

 

Absolutely, which is why awareness is key. If you practice mindfulness, even on the days where your sleep is off or even insomnia(which i have faced a lot along this journey due to withdrawals.) you will make your way through!

 

Current streak: 478 days no PMO, semen retention

These are the main meditations I do in order to balance sexual energy: DanTien and microcosmic orbit meditation. After you are able to refrain your body and mind from PMO and have a decent streak, this can create sexual tension because an excess amount of male/Yan energy. If you don’t have at least 30 days streak these practices are not so useful, you need energy to work with energy.

Stretching: I find it useful, especially early in the morning to do some stretching before meditation, this way practice becomes more easy.

Dan Tien meditation
Posture: it’s the most important aspect; there are even some zen schools that simply focus on breathing and posture to meditate. If you can remain seated with good posture and a calm mind for a good amount of time this is enough to balance your sexual energy.
Legs: You sit crossed legs, half or full lotus, some masters advocate sitting on a chair so that way your feet (barefoot or cotton socks) are in contact with the earth which is a negative pole(yin/ feminine) this helps to balance you more fast.
Hands: laying on your knees facing upwards or backwards. You can also do a mudra with your hands

Gyan Mudra

Dhyan Mudra


Back: straight without leaning it backwards, it needs to stay erected by itself, this is essential if your back is not straight the energy cannot travel properly.
Head and neck: aligned with your back and a little inclined forward. Touch the tip of the tongue to your palate just behind the front teeth, this relaxes the face and will serve as a bridgeto connect some energetic pathways.
Shoulders: a little bit backwards so you can put your chest a little bit out to have better posture.
Eyes: you can focus your gaze with open eyes to a point in front of you, it’s better if the point is on the floor. Some masters specially Taoists masters advocate closing your eyes because you are trying to focus and move energy, I think this last advice is true but if you are feeling sleepy or your mind is not calm, opening your eyes for a while can help to deal with this.

Meditation: the energy is stored in a point four fingers below the belly, when you are trying to accumulate energy you focus on this point DanTien and the energy naturally starts to increase and become more clean simply focusing there. At the same time you focus on your breathing and in trying to be aware and relax at the same time.
You can start by 10 minutes two times a day and little by little increase your meditation time.

Microcosmic orbit meditation: After some time of gathering energy in the lower belly and you have a decent semen retention streak, this also means no wet dreams or ejaculatory sex, you will start to experience the energy gathered in the DanTien wants to move freely throughout all your body, you simply let it move, the microcosmic orbit meditation is a pathway you can use to move energy. It starts from your lower back moving upwards and then it connects to the front your body with your tongue it goes down connecting the energy again to your back in a point close to your coccyx and it goes up again, your repeat this several times. If the energy wants to stay in a place of the pathway for a while you let it stay.

Your back is more Yang/masculine and the front of your body is more yin/ feminine. You can visualize the energy in your back of color red/Yang and in front of you blue/ yin. The microcosmic orbit will balance even more these two opposite forces to create a calm, powerful, deep sexual energy in you.



Biography
If you want to know more about these two meditations
- The tao of health, sex and longevity by Daniel Reid: in the section meditation he explains it in a very simple manner
- Awaken healing light of tao by mantak chia. He explains it very well, he also does some preliminaries before the meditation, its more complex but if you want to go deep is worth giving it a look.
-The secrets of Chinese meditation by Lu K´uan Yu(Charles Luk) : the DanTien chapter also at the end of the book the author writes a journal of his experience doing these meditations. He was a former masturbation addict and improved his health thanks to meditation. He is quite knowledgeable and an interesting read.

 

478 days SR
49 days No sex

Crazy Girl
The fitness girl I saw some weeks back, we talked a bit yesterday, I ended up telling her about having sex, I did it in a very polite and appropriate manner, also she was also implying it, I told her I got a new mattress and she said she want it to test it with me and spend all night together. Last week we agreed to have sex in a motel but she was not able to make it.

Taking all this into account and seeing her with such a high desire to have sex I told her to do it and she replied

-So you want to fuck me?
-Why are you so up front about it?

This was so out of place, we already talked about it and she was saying she wanted to be with me all night in my new mattress. I confront her about this telling her she was inappropriate and rude.

When she saw I was upset she kind of wanted to cool it down. But the damage was done, that is such a disrespectful manner to talk about sex, it shows what I was suspecting, she has some type of sexual trauma and she is not really into sexuality anymore. She thinks and said something like I only care about having sex with her and all men see her as a sexual object. She suffers from depression, she told me. So you can see she has some deep mental issues. Also at the same time she said I stopped talking to her because she is ugly, which is the opposite she has one of the best bodies I have seen in my life and I didn’t stop talking to her she was the one that did.

I let go the thing she said about her being ugly, which is nuts but the rudeness when talking about sex that I cannot forgive, so this girl lost her chance with me, I feel now zero attraction towards her, her mind is just a mess. Also if she shows this rudeness and craziness when we are just getting to know each other after she gets more comfortable with me the rudeness and craziness will be worst, whatever you see at the beginning in a girl it will continue to be the same if not worst as time passes.

 

Day 4

 

Day 66

 

Day 20
No urges
Just like the other days exercised ate healthy worked out and train
Honestly I do feel better but I thought it would be really fun to remove my urges form myself
but instead now everyday seems the same. Maybe I'm just tired.
See you Tomorrow Z Warriors!!!

 

I have just masturbated but I haven't used porn I was just unable to control the urge so I just did it but no porn starting again day 0 but next time I wont masturbate also feeling good that I haven't use porn and feeling bad that I masturbated

 

Checking in!

 

Checking in.
All went well yesterday, I aim to do the same today

 

479 days no PMO, semen retention

 

check in on day 31.

 

Day 36

 

Day 27 Y'all are dropping mystical knowledge on here....

HIt my 30 day on Tuesday

 

Like this. The goal of an intimate relationship is to build. We are not enough of that imbalance of power shit in SO many other places of society.

 

You are evolving. Sometimes success won't be even. For me, I was able to quit porn easier than masturbation, though I noticed that when I quit watching porn, I naturally started to masturbate less.

 

Urges are natural. It's the habit you want to change to match who you want to be.