Accountability for All

I did this too a couple days ago when I was trying to study but couldn't focus and had an urge. I started doing pushups until I was tired, and surprusingly it helped a lot. Then I went back to study and the urge was gone.

Day 11

 

0 but very hopefull for torrow

 

Day 13.
Today on the streets I saw a hot girl, so I went to the public bathroom and took off my pants......
AND PUT ON MY RUNNING SHORTS AND STARTED TO RUNNING.. Cuz I want a healthy body.❤ not a sick addicted one.

 

Thank you, Cory. That's a good idea!

Day 5!

Last night was a bit rough but made it thru by getting off the computer & going for a walk. When not having urges, I feel really leveled out & balanced. It's a great feeling. I know late mornings are rough for me (I work from home on a computer) so I'll be staying extra vigilant then.

Cheers guys.

 

day 3 has been good so far. just i dont wish to study that much but this phase shall pass

 

I have just lost the love of my life as the intimacy in our relationship disappeared.

I left our holiday early to come home and have space to M. I have been caught M in the toilets at work. I am carrying so much shame for the last 13 years of secret addiction that I now have an identity crisis and need therapy.

I feel like my whole 20s was robbed from me by porn addiction and I allowed it to happen. I have no self awareness, self esteem or self love because of the shame.

Porn addiction drove me to marijuana to supplement the hit, and is the only time I have drunk alcohol alone is to M.

Now my peers view me as a reclusive chronic stoner and nobody even knows my real addiction.

If I confess to my ex what my real addiction has been all these years will it ease my trauma? Will it help to be exposed? I cannot handle the thought of all the wasted time and love I could have given to her. What do people think?

 

Hi man. I think you should be honest with her. Porn is opposite of healthy relationship. You should be honest with her and start a therapy or rehab. To show that you are willing to cure it for her. And especially for yourself.
How many more years of your life do you want to waste being addicted.
You should see that this is it. Its time to put the end to that
Real relationship isnt as extreme as porn. After I started having sex with my gf I was often ending up dissappointed cause it isnt as extreme as porn is.

I still learn what real feeling is relationship about. Intimacy, trust, love. The porn is right the opposite.
Its time to put an end to it. Talk to your ex. You can be honest with her

 

Day 6

Todays night was tough. I had very bad sleep, because instead of sleeping I was fantasiasing about being a girl in pantyhose being fucked.
I hate that i feel more and more confident and like a man during day, but this fucking thoughts come during night. I hope they will vanish. I become more and more disgusted in them

 

What I've been doing anytime I have unwanted thoughts is I picture a red cross ❌ in front of the scene. It's hard to avoid having these thoughts, but at least you can choose what to do with them. Consciously doing this is actually helping and it's becoming something I do automatically.
When it comes to wet dreams though I just have to understand that it's my subconscious doing meaningless weird stuff. As long as I don't M afterwards it's okay...

Day 12?13?

 

Day 133 in the books!!!

 

nice to see so many people doing good on here. keep going guys!

 

Day 14
Aiming high.

 

Day 13

 

Day 7
I move to a new apartment. Sadly i found that my TV is broken and i was very mad. Some urges come, but when i imagined the feeling of starting over... I menaged to survive it. Tomorrow i'm meeting with my girlfriend, I hope we will have a good time together. Im not mad about a TV anymore. I think my brain is trying to make me overreact to some things to give me an excuse to relapse. I really feel like my mind is working diffrently right now.

I really have a strong motivation to end with it finally. To do my 3 last years of medical school good, to become a good non-addicted doctor. To have pleassure from food, meeting with friends, family, animals etc

Stay strong

 

I am also a christian, yesterday i was praying for my girlfriend hapiness. It was one of the strongest and most exciting prays i had. If someone believes in God, you know that the further away you are from evil, the strongest contact with him you have

 

Day 134 in the books!!!

 

any idea how to stop nightfalls?

 

Day 15.

Let's gooo