Newbie here, hi all

Newbie here- not to porn, but to this site.
As far as porn, I have watched it all kinds. I am tired of it, I wanted to start 2022 without porn and I failed so here it is 19 days in to the new year. I am ashamed and embarrassed. I have a family, wife & kids. What I do behind closed doors is awful and I feel guilty. I don't want to be that person- it's only a small part of who I am, but it makes the most noise, and grabs a lot of my attention.
I want to stop ALL PORN viewing and use. My porn use is only part of it, I have been tempted to try and have sex with other people and fantasized, even planned, but after many years of temptation, I am happy to say that I have resisted it and fought it and stayed faithful to my wife, but the urge is strong and it is tied to my porn use. The porn addiction & fantasies have made intimacy with my wife absent and the blunt truth is, I'd rather masturbate to porn than have intimacy with my wife. That is awful and I am ashamed of that. My wife deserves better.

I want to stop all of my secretive porn viewing and sex fantasies

My plan is to come here every day and check in INSTEAD of hunting porn and to go one day at a time. If anyone can suggest threads or places to visit and take part in on this site, I'd very much appreciate it.

 

Thanks

 

Thanks for the input, I get what you are saying, and agree it makes sense, but i can't do it. I won't do it.
If I can beat this on my own, then she is never hurt by it. By the way, she married me way before my porn addiction ever started

 

I'm happy to say, I joined here this past Wed, so this is about 4 days porn free. Feels good, I have filled it with good activities, worthwhile stuff, family stuff, work stuff, and actually gotten more sleep. I'd often stay up till 3 in he morning w/ porn. Hoping 4 days leads to a week, and then 1 week to 2, and then a month and so on. Baby steps.
However, I have tried to stop before and gone stretches like this several days, even a couple weeks- and usually something will set me off- it could be a woman in a tv show or something crossing her legs, or something minor, then I am hopping on porning out. I hope that does not happen again. I am just trying to fill mylife with stuff that actually matters and means something, and porn doesn't and I know that.