Accountability for All

Day 6 - Done. Im being attacked by the chaser effect and my emotion are fucked up.

 

Day 41

# total_new_habits = 8
# days_of_new_habits = 12/40

Still struggling with the project .. you know when you are stuck somewhere, you want to escape to sth else easier .. let me see a match highlights .. let me check which new movies came ..or even let me PMO .. it is so funny actually to see myself in this situation .. I am continuing until there is an opening .. I will not stop no matter what .. That is how I will build my resolve .. Till tomorrow


"Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"

[/QUOTE]

 

Day 1. Please give me support. I need accountability. I want to quit forever....

Starting off somewhere...

 

I really f***** up the last few days continuous relapses.... so the thing is I'm not really practicing mindfulness :that means maintaining some awareness and calm towards the triggers and waves desire...... if I have some calm and just can look straight out at them, then I can work it....
I can work my antidotes so that's what I want for tomorrow....

 

In the past 99 days I have:

* PMO'd 6 times but not fully relapsed
* MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
* Averaging 16.5 days on strict PMO nofap
* 2 days straight nofap streak so far

 

Day 29

 

Day 30 of No PMO
Longest streak of my life.
I am grateful to everyone for your support and motivation.
Hope everyone is having a great day

 

You're doing great brother. Keep going. One day at a time.

 

Day 7 - Done
My emotions and behaviors have been more fucked than ever, I mean, so so. I felt like crap because I was thinking - Look what I become. But in reality, this is all consequences to my internet and porn abstinence. This pain is good, I'm going in the right direction, I thought I was only getting more addicted even without watching a lot of porn like I used to.

 

Day 5
Making it through the weekend, one day at a time.

 

Day 41

#total_new_habits = 8
#days_of_new_habits = 12/40

So I have found a possible solution to my programming project in my mind and got unstuck. Refraining myself from being indulged in this addiction allowed me to find strength inside me to keep going until the solution just showed up on the door of my consciousness. Otherwise, I will give up. I know that about myself. When I am stuck, it is painful. It is hard to see no immediate progress while I am putting efforts .. but here is the thing .. not all gains are immediate .. again .. not all gains are immediate .. oh yeah 3rd time ... not all gains are immediate .. some things just take time to become fruitful .. and one needs strength to keep going even though things seems dark .. refraining from this addiction is for sure one of them .. it pays off to stay away from it .. DEFINITELY .. at least from my experience ..

Also, I have found in my mind many topics to write about, I will keep a list here and take from them one by one.

Here are my notes on the topics names that I would like to talk about in the following days:

- planning and not going according to plan
- wisdom ? avoiding learning by mistakes
- true Judgement ? no fast formation of opinions (maybe one of the main seeds of stereotypes)
- power of names .. give it a name to take control over it
- 1 x 2 (temptations one fold, efforts two folds)
- not "in" my brain but "in" the moment
- more temptations, more effects, nothing to say, responses comes later
- experts => modest => learn from others => learn from their own mistakes
- asking questions
- where am I from all of this ?
- bad memories chase you in hardships and trigger the pessimistic voice
- self-righteousness and rigidity => dealing with others according to our current history not taking into account of past mistakes

"Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"

[/QUOTE]

 

Day 49.

Nice little streak

Still get urges after badly slept nights or emotional days. Thats what happens when yoy get addicted. Happily these urges get weaker the longer I go without relapsing.

 

Day 1

 

Day 0
Reset on day 30
Actually i'm happy i can start fresh..
There ia a new opportunity to do better than this.
Stay strong guys.. We are the 0.1 %

 

Checkin' 1 relapse so far.

 

Relapsed again today. Was casually watching tv with my sister when came across some shitty porn scene(which i should have expected given the nature of the show). I don't know what I am supposed to do now. I can say that I have started trying to give more effort to setting up my daily routine plus meditation for almost 40 minutes and read books it wasn't enough because I wasn't able to fight lust and myself. I have to do more. I probably need to turn off my broadband internet for now and I don't think I need it for college work and attending online meetings anyway
Wish I could have posted more here but my phone blocker is blocking me from coming to this website. And I already blocked my browser in my pc.

 

Day 31 of No PMO
Hang in there guys

 

Day 8 in the list!! I have completed my one week of nofap and it was good but today the urges were strong it distracted me from my work and I know about it this is the obvious withdrawal symptoms, but I was seeing some picture and videos for some time not porn content, and I not take it as a relapse but I know it is not good during this journey, and I will work on it and I will not feel guilty and I WILL DEFINITELY WIN....

 

Day 8 - I win.
Very stressful day, but I managed with exercise, meditation, and a cold shower.

 

I'm so happy for you bro, 31 days is my fucking dream.