Day 3 It's sad but at least I realize this now and have actively worked to change it for the past 3-4 years - slowly but surely - no going back. But yes I completely recognize myself in this in my twenties especially after university in the period 23-29. The sad part is I see this in other people my current age and they don't seem to be heading in a better direction. 7 August 2022
A week! Too much working out and cycling. Doing these to overcome the urge of watching porn. Tips Whenever u want to watch porn, do push up anytime anywhere immediately until u feel like dying. Porn is like drug , seriously. It makes me not interested in anything else. But try to do something to distract your mind with other activites u may like. Go for your goals !
3/90- Went out to the local arboretum and just chilled soaking in the environment and watching the birds. I also meditated for about 20 mins. In this current streak, I want to do the things that used to make me happy such as communing with nature and cycling that I don't do as frequently. Also, I am going back to tackle the root of my addiction, toxic shame. I realized through introspection that I have been dealing with surface level symptoms instead of paying attention to the shame I feel. The feelings of being defective come back to haunt me yesterday when my girlfriend made some cutting comments about me in casual conversation. I can't shake off her words as they are constantly playing in my head but I know it has to do with the fact that deep seated shame has a role to play.