damn need to stay honest another relapse chaser got me 7 days relapse this month its enough now! Im better than this I will callback two times now not long/wont write much - but frequently 1 time early in the morning after routine (call/checkIN) 1 time in the evening after 1 routine (at least) (call/checkOUT) need to stand up and Ill get back stronger now. Life isnt meant to waste with this stupid PMO. Things with the girl I mentioned went great. We both said that we like each other, not kissed yet but we dont need to rush. It feels like I rubish that beatiful thing we have with that dumb habit. If I wanna end it then I want to do it for Love. Its worth it. It stands in the way to love deeply from within and with patience again. I wanna be pure me. Let toxic end NOW. PMO end NOW
Good afternoon Fellowship Different day today, i stayed more at home, doing stuff that i like and also being productive. overall good day . But i was way more tired and anxious than yesterday. Oh well... the withdrawal rollercoaster... anyways, let´s keep moving. Like Churchill said "If you´re going through hell, keep going." Nothing more to add my friends. Have a great day and week ahead Here´s the latest trailer from the Rings of Power, this one seems a bit more cheesy. i sincerely hope they don´t mess up the series
I just realized I'm an hobbit already! How cool is that We're starting as hobbits, not as nazguls and orcs anymore. Thanks @RiseToGreatness It's worth reading OP (post 1) again! Also the rules have changed slightly. So it's hardmode again for me. Not "only" no porn. I'll try to embrace that and give it my best shot. Thank you, Slider8, for posting that nice video. Wouldn't it be brilliant if everything that brings us into Tolkiens (and Peter Jacksons) World would serve as an "anti-trigger" that helps us to stay abstinent and clean?
Day 11 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 197 out of 205. Had a wet dream yesterday, but also had a solid and deep discussion with my spouse about life. Hopefully the two cancel each other out in terms of their effects on my streak. Have a good weekend, warriors!
Checking in. A good weekend, no pmo. very little time spent online. Reading books instead. Have a great day/evening. Thanks for the support, fellowship!
Day 205 A great morning service; my friend was preaching and she did absolutely brilliantly, and because of her sermon and the following worship I really felt God speaking to me. I articulated how I was feeling to her this afternoon when we were driving to college and I’m very grateful for her support and to have her in my life. No urges today, but in a new bed for the next week. I must stay vigilant; before I sleep I shall pray, and hopefully get a good night’s rest to prepare me for the day ahead.
Day 8 complete! Gildor Inglorion, an Elf, crosses my path, causing a Nazgûl that was chasing me to flee. I stay the night with his company of Elves, talking about my struggles with PMO. "Courage is found in unlikely places" he says. He gives me a Hithlain rope, a magical rope, light and flexible, yet extremely strong. Quest Item – Hithlain rope It does feel as though a Nazgul has been chasing me today. What is this feeling inside me as though I need to relapse? Not a specific urge for porn or masturbation, but this evil, pessimistic sense that the streak has gone on long enough? I don't want to relapse and I don't feel inclined to do so at the moment, so what is this influence encouraging me to do it just for the sake of breaking the streak? I've been here a long time and I don't feel as though I've achieved any tangible results or success. Even so, I won't allow this depressive mood to make me feel as though I'm not meant to ever experience success and that I shouldn't even bother trying. I had a good day. I went for both a walk and a run, and I'm enjoying a new, clean TV series I started yesterday. Everything is going pretty well. It's quite frustrating that something within me won't allow me to be content with that. A friend called me tonight to update me on a difficult situation in his life, and he told me that one night a week, for the purposes of penance and prayer, he sleeps on the floor. I'm going to try that tonight as well. St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us!
16 & 17 days – Touched by your bravery, the gentle Elves of Rivendell give you an Elven cloak. The cloak has a hood and is fastened by a green elven brooch. It acts as camouflage when PMO units are around. Quest Item - Elven Cloak
46 (14 hard mode) days complete I gave in to my old habit to look for arousing images on google. I looked at people kissing for up to a minute. It happened quickly, I wasn't ready for this quick urge. I regret it because it ruins my almost perfect streak. The content itself is not a P substitute, but the way I looked it up is similar to looking for P. I don't think that I should reset the counter. Once again I am asking for someone to look at it from the outside. Please @RiseToGreatness , what do you think?