35 and older accountability, Group 2

Inspiring thoughts JDubs. Thanks for being here and for all the support you provide others as well on this forum.

 

Hi. I’ve just begun the journey. On day two. Realised that I can’t do it alone. I’m also 35.

 

I came across the following in a book, “Feeling better about yourself makes temptation easier to resist.” Do you agree?

 

It’s day four for me now!

taking things one day at a time. I’m keeping myself busy rather than allowing myself to become distracted. Just finished a session in the gym. Whoop!
Hope everybody is doing well.

 

hi @Me_vsp, and congrats for getting to 4 days, great start. Have you attempted this before?

 

Checking in.

I failed again at the very end of Sept. It was a fairly minimal PMO. I have been ok since then. It seems like I've been able to get to about 7 days for the past few weeks then somehow I fail. It also seems like I should be able to avoid failing without much effort but somehow I've still failed. It has mostly been due to boredom, being tired, and maybe related to other kinds of internet/information addictions.

My only encouragement in these recent failures is that I have started doing the things I believe work and help immediately after I've failed and it seems they have made it easy to avoid subsequent relapses immediately after.

My absolute goal for October is to be 100% free from PMO. I believe I can do it.

 

Back again after a 2-week+ struggle. Urges came on super strong 2 weeks ago, gave in to PMO a total of 4 times, today being the 4th. One thing is certain, I realize that this forum is important this community is to me. I'm grateful to be back and grateful for everyone here.

 

Good to see you back!

 

aaaahh there you are, wondered where you'd gone

 

Thank you!

 

It's good to be back.

 

Day 0 complete. I second that statement. Starting the month off on the right track.

 

Yes, I agree, September was a tough month for me. I had a slip after 36 days with no PMO, I reset my counter and I am feeling very confident. The thing I have come to realize is that if you get right back on the wagon, it's almost like it didn't happen. I am not going through the negative down period that I usually go through if I relapse for a week or more. I owe part of my new confidence to meditation (after all the practice of meditation is to control your thoughts). If anyone is interested here's a short video on what you need to do, it's not difficult and it only takes about 5-10 minutes a day.
Also, I would like to start a 30 day challenge. I'm not sure if this is the correct way to do this on this website, but I would encourage anyone who would like to join me to please let me know. Thanks

 

I F'd up today to non nude glam pictures on chat avenue. It's a shame too because I was really getting some good time in too. What I learned was that not only are we fighting the PMO and everything else going on but that the people we encounter in these situations are in worse shape than even us. Some are married but still M but looking for other men. This is a scary time as the material and media have taken a huge left turn into very gruesome and not even Skinsmax Cinemax rating but way too violent. It's like the room was filled with 1100 people in a live chat and decency and some class went totally out the window. I can't really lift my head above those as I was there by association only but still at the scene of the crime in the chat room. It's days like this I wish WebTV was all there was. Use the internet for chat and keep the bandwidth at 56K. Sorry for failing the forum. I can only get back up and try again.

 

Bowled over to be seeing day 20 in a few hours time. Beginning to get some physical discomfort.
Stood my ground with controlling ex this week with complete ease. Don't think I could have dealt with her so calmly had I not been doing this. Retention is giving me a stability I've aspired to but never been able to maintain, it seems .
Looking forward to the furture for first time in a long while

 

So great to hear this brother!

 

PMO free yesterday, no real urges. Kept reaching out to folks on this forum, which always helps. Should be a busy day today, I'll need to meditate and do some writing to prepare for the evening's downtime.

 

Getting back up and trying again is the name of the game. You just have to keep trying. I've found that you learn something new every time you fail. Congratulations for trying again so quickly! I've found that helps a lot. You don't lose everything you've gained.
I believe what you are referring to is called the "Novelty Factor" by Gary Wilson.
At the end of this animation Gary Wilson talks about it. (this animation was approved and encouraged by Gary Wilson and is based on his book "Your Brain on Porn").

 

No PMO yesterday. No urges and plenty of healthy distractions. The demon likes it when things slow down. That's when he'll pounce, opening the door to resentments, anxiety, negative thinking about myself, anger.

Looking forward to being productive today. Meditation, exercise, checking in and being accountable.