Day 6 Urges 3/5 Thoughts 2/5 The urges are starting back up again, just about right on schedule, but I'm holding strong.
Have not checked in in a few days. I am at 2 days. Going well. I am doing so good. I am feeling loved.
I am so afraid of losing that I often backed out of competitions and exams even before I take part, even if I take part in it I often end up making a mess of it because of this uncertain feeling. And I have relied on Pmo for giving me the dopamine to get through this . Sometimes the anxiety was too high that I would have to rely on Pmo until the get past me. Quitting PMO is the first step towards the right direction right , I don't want to rely on Pmo again to stay calm.
I decide to destroy the porn ring! I'm a Hobbit now. I must take the ring to the place where he was made, Mount Doom. I left Hobbiton heading for Bree. 0 days no PM 0 days video games 7 days no hot shower 0 days no caffeine staying strong on the cold showers
Checking in Fellowship friends! 118 Days Free of PMO. Quick check in for me today, very busy day ahead. Today is a challenge that I must face and I hope ends up being fruitful. Stay Strong!
Day 194 Yeah brother I missed it. I forgot due to some work. you remembered it to me. Thank you brother. Any way brothers KEEP PLAYING THE GAME. much love
I'm still sick at home and my media use has skyrocket: I look up the news, I watch good movies, even when I went for a walk I listened to some podcast today. It feels a little bit like old caving days. But it's time to stop. The sickness somehow comes in waves but I'm quite sure, now it's over. There are only some symptoms left which usually stay longer and all my fatigue and uncomfortableness now comes from too much screentime and too little movement. I should go back to my normal functioning asap and continue to work on myself. There has really going on a lot of shit lately. I have some issues with my friends and while in some relationship the problems are more subtle but from others I've taken a heap of horseshit. Today I had some balls and I took a stand and ended my worst functioning relationship. It's good I waited for some time with my answer (after being treated very badly) and didn't argue but just send a very clear message. Then there's this girl, which I avoided for the time being. She's trouble, but I don't think I have to worry about her now, since she's not one of my longterm friends, just a new girl I feel attracted to. Maybe I have to give her some more stern honesty at some point or just don't deal with all her shit anymore ... True, the priorities are the important relationships. These are mostly longterm friendship with guys. Here I have to admit that I can't blame the others. I have to take responsibility and also stand in for those relationships. Meaning, I can't wait for the other party to improve the relationship or adress a problem. I'm not quite the leader in relationships, but maybe it's time that I make up my mind how I want and need to develope my friendships. Of course one party can always just do his part, but I can create something. What goes around comes around Oh of course, that also means conflict. Probably that is the biggest problem, that I avoid conflict (not sure). Some of my friends are the same, I fear. So let's be careful but adressing conflicts should be a good move to develope the friendship and grow as a personality. Dealing with people in general, socialize is also a must. I always knew that it is part of my Journey but I always wanted to delay it. The same with girls and dating. But reading @Spirituss thread Approaching women (which amazed me) gave me the understanding that I shouldn't seperate one from the other. Of course it's harder for me to approach a beautiful woman than having a chat with a random guy at the library. These may be different games. But of the same sport. In the end I need to refine my social skills, because ... actually so many reasons! It is my Journey! Although, using my already existing social skills is the priority here. But I guess I will then automatically being able to refine it. This all points out to the importance of healthy habits, values and boundaries. If I can conduct myself well when I'm on my own and when I DON'T use porn or constant stimulation by media, sugar ..., when I DON'T suffer from brain fog and low self esteem all the time, THEN I can surely be a good friend and so on. But also to the question of openness, trust and vulnerability. Can I be the one who I am, with all my problems and unsecurities? How far can I open myself up? Or will I just hide and wear a mask? I also wonder what do I have to give to others? What do I have to offer (for example to a woman)? But being ready to give, to open up and also to take from another person and welcome a new person in my life with whatever this person brings .... well, it's actually about that. Too much to write all down, but our hearts are big enough to grasp it It's already in our hearts
Day 7 Urges 1/5 Thoughts 1/5 Well made it through the dreaded day 7 once again and passed the first hurdle. Urges were active, but I reminded myself why I was doing this: Get rid of the brain fog, stop the leg cramps, fight depression and just overall quit feeling like shit all the time. Now it's onto the 2nd hurdle, which is going through another week of this, I'm hoping this time I'll be able to do my workouts that I've been procrastinating on due to low energy, both mental and physical.
Check in day 4 of the challenge. Day 6 of nofap. Have had some urges today. Been working late and had little sleep the last couple of days. Little sleep have previously been a huge trigger for me. I think being tired is one of the reasons for having urges today. Plan for today is to go early to bed and get a full night of sleep.
Oops just missed the attendance yesterday But didn't caught by PMO A honest response its after long time my strike hits more than 5 days Now I'm really feeling good I'm feeling like my brain is back to life again
3 days – PMO forces have spotted you!! With haste you use the Bucklebury Ferry to cross the Brandywine river. Life is good. Got a good book with daily reflections on the Benedictine Rule. Very beautiful. Speaking volumes to me. So nailed it yesterday. Something I have noticed that has been confirmed with this book. Said we are not so much afraid of failure as we are of success. Who am I to be great? I noticed this about myself awhile ago. Knowledge is power. I am allowed to become a great human. I am allowed to become great at things I love doing.