Day 4: Feeling like there is so much to write about, sitting here in front of my laptop with a cup of coffee, ready to write it all out. So where do I start? So just over 3 days ago I relapsed. Tricked again mentally by porn that, "looking at porn is okay". It sounds dumb, right? Falling for it, god damn it! But it's okay! I rethought out my Plan of Success, added a few things, moved a few things around. And now this Plan of Success is being memorized by myself, everyday, so that when the idea of pornography comes into my mind saying stupid shit like, "It's okay to look at porn", I am READY!!! My Plan of Success starts with: I am a non-user and I will never ever abandon my Plan. Not now, not ever, for there is nothing more rewarding in life than remaining free of this addiction! This means that I will never ever look at pornography ever again. PERIOD. I don't know about you, but damn that's some powerful shit. The mental affirmation that: I don't use porn, I will never abandon my Plan of Success for anything, that freedom from this addiction is the be-all-end-all in my life, and that I will never look at porn again? I'm not sure there is any holes or weaknesses in such a powerful paragraph of words. Yet, it has taken me 10 years to get to this stage, to learn about not only myself but about how this addiction works within me to control, manipulate then finally abandon me with nothing but regret, anger and sadness within. I have been on this journey to learn how to literally ANNIHILATE this evil within me, to see it for what it truly is and what its true intentions are. I thank my wife for helping me along this journey, I literally could not have done it without her love and patience with me during this time. So all in all, what am I trying to say? Finding and maintaining my way out of pornography addiction hasn't been easy, but with a Plan of Success to guide me along day in day out, it has given me a greater happiness than I ever thought possible. And I think that's the way with this disease, it's that you don't realise how amazing things are until you truly exit out of the prison that is pornography. You think it's gonna be great when you are free, and these things keep you motivated when your weak etc. But when you really realise that you are free and you can see and feel that porn is non-existent in yourself and in your life, this blissful feeling of jubilant happiness is better than anything you can imagine. And that's just facts.
Hey guys! Day 9/90 ( 10% completed). This morning I was tempted to do PM, but I resisted, tonight I'm feeling really good. Best wishes to you all!
Update: Woke up @ 7:am, did physical exercise, now I am going to take a shower and be ready for the day. Your brother back for good(isaac)
Hey brothers, today I haven't exercise as it is my rest day. However, I started my day by doing morning routine and sticking to making myself better and be productive rather than wasting precious time I won't get back. Your bro, Isaac
11/90 I'm feeling good today and I haven't thought about PMO the entire day, probably because I was too busy, but anyway...I'm really happy to have won another day. Best wishes to you all!