[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

35/90

 

Day 3/90!

 

Day 28 almost to the real test the 30 day mark is where I’ve failed twice but I have new found resolve this time

 

Day 5/90. Things are okay, yesterday I was in the beach with some friends and I felt really happy, it helped me a lot. These good feelings motivate me a lot. This is all for today guys. Take care !

 

Day 0!

 

Halfway to 90! : D

 

Day 15: 2 weeks done and dusted, a lot of big feelings came up over the weekend but I got thru them. Still affirming the statement in my mind "I will never look at pornography ever again in my life, PERIOD", and it really helps to affirm that looking at porn isn't an option, no matter how difficult things get.

As the effects of porn leave my body/mind/spirit, I am finding I lose my discipline, I get weak, and I forget my reasons to never have pornography in my life ever. So I have also been reaffirming the statement, "When the idea of looking at pornography comes into my mind, I will:
a) See these feelings for what they truly are: NOT MINE
b) Remembering WHO I AM and how much that means to me
c) Relishing in the TRUTH and PLEASURE that I am free from pornography and its negative effects on my life".

I think that these things will help me into ascending who I want to be and transforming into someone I thought I'd never be. Much love <3

 

I have just had a realization that I feel like I just had to write about! I realised that there is NOTHING to gain from indulging in pornography. I always felt like I was 'giving something up' and 'sacrificing', but in reality I am losing nothing and gaining so so much!

Porn is this trickster who wants us to think we are losing something by not looking at it, but in fact it's just an illusion! A trick that I have solved, like realising the magician who has 'superpowers' is nothing but a fraud and a fake. It feels really good to realise this! I don't want porn, porn wants porn!

The other thing I realised (which isn't as big but still a great breakthrough) is the fact that NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is as important as realising porn is non-existent in my life and maintaining this. I feel maintaining my freedom from porn's trap is the ONLY thing that matters; not job progression, not relationships, not hobbies, not friends, NOTHING!! The only thing that matters is maintaining my freedom from porn; everything else is 2nd Place.

 

Relapsed yesterday day 1 today

 

Learning, Strengthening, Growing!

 

Day 2

 

Day 46!

 

36/90, E test

 

Day 6/90 Today I'm feeling good. Best wishes to you all

 

Day 4/90

 

Relapsed, new updated Plan:
SUCCESS:

1. I will never look at pornography ever again in my life, PERIOD.

2. When the idea of looking at pornography comes into my mind, I will:

a) See these feelings for what they truly are: NOT MINE
b) Truly understand that pornography is a disease and an addiction that must be broken in order for me to live my life
c) Remember WHO I AM and how much that means to me
d) Relish in the TRUTH and PLEASURE that I am free from this addiction and its negative effects on my life.

2. When the negative effects of pornography come into my mind I will:

a) Cold Shower
b) Realise that these feelings are a PASSING, fleeting moment in time
c) Relish in the TRUTH and PLEASURE that in going through these feelings, I am purging myself of this addiction’s effects on me, and in doing so it is making room for ME to flourish.

This is my plan. I call it "SUCCESS" because I feel like there is no bigger achievement and reward in life than purging myself of this addiction.

 

Day 3

 

Day 47!

 

37/90

 

Day 0