5000 Days Porn Free

Yesterday I reached the 5000 day mark from my last P relapse. That was almost 14 years ago. I’m not posting this to brag, I’m posting this to try to help anyone who might currently be struggling with P.

Don’t ever give up. With the right motivation and the right amount of effort, you can and will overcome P. And life without P is worth the effort required. Life is beautiful again. Life is enjoyable again. The guilt and images of the past have all vanished.

How did I do it? Answer: hard, uncomfortable, inconvenient work. What do I mean by this?

I attended two separate 12 step groups, saw two therapists, told three people who were close to me (who held me accountable), and went without the internet in my home for a year. Some might consider these extreme measures. I tried everything else, and this combination was the only way I found deliverance.

It was embarrassing having to tell my deepest darkest secrets to those people. It cost me a lot of money going to therapy. It was more than inconvenient going to the library in order to use the internet while I was trying to get my master’s degree. I gave up my free time to go to recovery meetings. I had to humble myself and admit over and over that I needed help. I had to learn how to be an honest person and no longer live a secret life.

Why would anyone put themselves through all of this? Because I had finally had enough of P. It was impacting my relationships and it ruined my self esteem. I finally determined that I was willing to do whatever was necessary. It was hard work.

You are worth every effort. Your hard work will pay dividends. If you feel stuck, switch things up. Disclose your addiction to real people. Join support groups. Recovery is all about relationships - to stop living a life of isolation and open up to those around you.

You can do it with the right amount of effort. Never give up! Someday you can look back and be glad you chose freedom.

 

You’re welcome @Ubermen. I hope you’re having a good day.

 

Thanks @AModernMiroku! As always, I appreciate your support and encouragement. Your success in our common recovery goals is an inspiration to me! Keep going strong!

 

Thanks @Returning Rebooter!
Congratulations on making it 102 days! Honestly, I think going those first few months is more impressive than reaching 5000. After the first few months things get significantly easier. Building that first bit of momentum is tough. The analogy that I like to use is this: a rocket, when it is launched, uses a tremendous amount of energy to escape the earth’s gravitational pull. Once it gets into outer space, it can continue with very little effort. I say very little effort because you can still encounter random asteroids (triggers) that you need to avoid. I can say that for me, after about a year, it became pretty much effortless. The rest of the 5000 days have Accumulated on their own with pretty much no effort from me.

 

Thanks! To answer your questions:

- I avoid MO as much as possible. I’d like to stop completely (which is why I’m here on NoFap). My longest streak without MO was 98 days when I started NoFap 4 years ago. I currently typically end up resetting to MO once every 3 - 4 weeks but hope to change that soon.

After giving up P, my life drastically improved in several ways:

1. I was a lot happier

2. I no longer lived a secret life

3. I no longer had a guilty feeling

4. I opened up to more people and made friends. One of the people I had told about my addiction was my then girlfriend. Because I gave up P, our love grew stronger and we ended up getting married. We’ve been married over 13 years now and we have four children. Our love has remained strong. I live a very blessed life.

5. My self confidence and self esteem healed. I no longer hated myself and I began to believe in myself again.

6. I was able to complete a master’s degree and I have a great job that pays well.

I wish I could say that everything bad about P went away when I gave it up. Unfortunately I still have an MO problem and I still have problems with fetishes that I developed while watching P. But I’m making progress. It’s been almost 100 days since I last reset to fetishes. So slowly but surely I am trending in the right direction.

I am no longer tempted by P. It’s as if I have regained my innocence again before I looked at P. And I intend to keep it that way by not watching triggering material. I usually only watch PG or PG-13 movies, I don’t read anything that talks about sex, and I don’t get on the internet unless I have a specific purpose. I know that I could go back to watching P if I’m not careful. And I’m working on eliminating MO and fetishes because I know that those can also escalate into P as well.

 

You can do it! It all depends on your level of commitment. I’ve been where you are now and it’s miserable. No way to live life. It’s time to start enjoying life again.

 

For me, sex was allowed as it with my wife and it helped us bond. I did MO some but tried to avoid it.