Day 21 done. Officially back up to 3 weeks clean. Feels good and I am looking forward to being back up to a month before long. Gotta stick with what works and be grateful for every day we make it through. Not much else to report right now so gonna try and go to bed early again and get some extra sleep. Stay strong Spartans!
Day 7- eligible for spartan Army feeling way better today, yesterday I felt for the first time some dopamine withdrawal symptoms. As usual, when I am used to feel intense emotions (anger, sadness, fear) I automatically end up MO or PMO, this does in turn make me extremely uncomfortable after orgasm. It’s possible that my body developed a way to cope with intense emotions through PMO / MO, and I am finally facing this issue, I felt a lot better after I realised what had happened and what I had done (not ending up in MO). Specifically, I was having argument when messaging my gf, I was laid down on my sofa, as the argument developed more and more, I felt nervous and angry, I started to feel like I needed to MO to relieve this additional stress, I was about to give up and do it, I was stronger though, I stood up and went to do a few push ups. I was literally experiencing Brain fogging. This solved the situation and I felt so good thinking about how well I had managed to cope with the situation. looking forward to another productive day, today I will sit the final exam at my university, I will be surely more focused and present that I would sith PMO.
Day 6. I've been having insomnia for months and medication doesn't really help. By simply resting i feel decently well the following day despite not sleeping. Not this time, i got not sleep neither rest and i felt like trash, literally dressing up and doing cofee at 4 am. I've been procrastinating since 4 am to 11 am and urges were incredibly strong as i watched very little porn. I'm filled with determination. Stay strong
Day 22 done. It was a real rough day. Looks like the potential acquisition of my business is not going to go through due to lawyers take on non compete. It really sucks because we would have had a nice payout and still been given the opportunity to grow the business with the company. Not officially dead in the water but looking like that is gonna be the case. I offered a potential counter solution but doubt it will go anywhere. Anyway I guess that’s how things go. Did a hard workout this afternoon after getting the news and starting figuring out what to do next. All of us in this challenge know we have no choice to keep moving forward and that applies to all facets of life. Stay strong my friends!
Day 7. I've slept like a spartan, like a damn rock. On the other hand yesterday i got the chance to have sex. There was foreplay, some love ( too hot btw, 32º ) ... So it was all good until moment of intercourse. I could mantain a rock hard starting erection but not soon after penetration it started falling. I could only feel pleasure if i "peeled my skin with my hand" which was a very weird to keep on going... WHICH IS IN FACT OPPOSITE TO WHAT FKING UROLOGYST TOLD ME, that it was more of a Porn problem rather than Phimosis problem. I personally think it might be both at the same time. I TRIED INTERCOURSE ONLY ON 6 DAYS IN, BAD. Next time i will try in on 1 to 2 months in... If that fails aswell i might consider phymosis as the cause of ED, until then it will assume PIED. ON THE MATHER OF ENERGY: I feel like working, like exercicing... But i'm an sportive person so i don't feel much of a difference xd. Maybe... I feel more likely to study than normal. Stay on the track brothers. Stay strong
Day 0: i retire from the army and start again I have 2 main goals, be happy and be competent. Unlike most brothers here i don't have any socializing problems, no brain fog, no lack of focus, i don't even drink or smoke... I do a lot of sport and it's simply a matter of today i woke up properyl or not, i took cofee or not... YES FAPPING DESTROYED MY HEALTH on Pandemia. Yes, obviously doing nothing all day, nor study or sport and meeting no one, being stuck with parents that are 24/7 bad mood that are depressed as fk wasting their live doesn't help either. So in that context every fap made me feel like trash, now not anymore. right now i feel the exactly same having fapped than DAY 7 WITH the supposed boost of testosterone My point is that it's a placebo effect + some truth. Let's say you are obsessed with your looks. If you accomplish your own legged and get ripped you will feel... Good, normal. Otherwise you will feel like trash. Fapping? The same. Yes it can be weird to fap to pixels, similar to monkeys... But once society normalized it one doesn't think he is a monkey by fapping, they just do it, feel good after a hard day of work and that's it. You are the one feeling like a monkey since you started a process of realization about the action itself... Similar to the vegans feeling bad whenever they see animals being eated. It was all normal until it stopped being by deepening the knowledge. what's my point then? you can be as hardcore in life as you want. You can be vegan, 6 pack athlete, aiding 3rd world , helping every homeless man or family ... Once one deepens into differents parts of the society one realizes it's all rotten to the very core. Our own happyness looking no further it's build upon hundreds of thousands of lifes being taken in war between countries. By colonialism, by rettaining Africa as our garbage collector, as our precious mine... Every aspect of society you might think on it's rotten on it's bases and fapping is one way society designed to release stress and enegry after a day of hard work. Of course you might take the wrong path and fap all day... Then you are kinda crazy, you will get secondary effects, you might investigate the subject, find people that were even more perverted and build a self believe upon it. Congratulations you built a belief just as the individual that NEEDS TO BE ATHLETIC !!!!!!!!!! Of course accomplishing will feel good ( you will literally feel how i feel now, which is... Feeling NORMAL) and not doing will deteriorate into some kind of mental illness. SO IN THE END: I WILL TRY AGAIN NoFap, YES. I've been so disappointed on it since i tried sex on day 6, day 7 i felt no better than any other day and i don't even have much urges. WILL IT BE DIFFERENT ON DAY 14, DAY 30? I don't know, and as my main goals are happyness and competence i might use some of this real extra energy MY REAL GOAL IS HAVING THE ROUTING: Doing 8 hours of independent study during summer and 3-4hours of sport, remaining 1 h -2 for free time. Fapping? Yeah, but mainly to reinforce my main, my discipline since i will need it next year. BUT I EXPECT NOTHING OF IT.
