Navigating Life's Challenges: My Journey and Reflections.

26-April-2024

Study : Nearly nothing. My focus is very weak.
Quran : Missed today.
Exercise : Positive
Slept : 11 PM I think.
Woke up : just before sun-set.
Reflections : Either be available to people around you, or move to a proper place to focus on something worthwhile.
Afterall, its a solo journey.
Beauty Is For The Burning Star!
..........
Since the Second day of Eid, my heart has been upset, like up and down. As I visited my mother again, going there in that city and hospital, there is something that made me sad, it was a feeling of responsibility because as a man, as the eldest son and being myself, I can sense alot about my irresponsible behaviour in the past and consequently lost ambitions.
I usually stay, LOST IN MIND ! But afterall, whenever i go there with my mother or to visit her there in terms of her treatment, I come back with some blessings. This regret for the past averaged performance and ambitions, hurts but also helps stay awake and attentive.
........
A person who strongly desires something may become entranced by its appeal, becoming vulnerable and missing out on precious moments and opportunities. Patience for something we have no control over, is regarded as very courageous tasks by Allah Himself. But the point is If we do it, at some point or other. Ahh... sky, planets and their silence please me alot. Their vastness is the opposite of my self being cramped. Silence is the opposite of peoples bad and useless arguments and judgements. And being a whole surprising scenery to see, is a great thing about space. Where I'm going? Where I've gone?
Lost in mind again.
20 to 20th of May.
I shall Rise.
May all of us get recovered.
Going to sleep again.

 

27-April-2024
Exercise : Positive.
Study : Positive just a good effort. Not completed.
Wake Up--Sleep : Don't remember.
..........
Falled down.
28-April-2024
Slept : On time.
Wake Up : Late.
Exercise : Negative.
Study : Positive.
.........

 

29-April-2024
WakeUp Late. 8 AM
Mother fell ill, so I'm taking her to the hospital.
Chaos. Time needed to realign all of it.

Must to do from now on :
1. Small tasks done firstly.
2. Mindfulness of time to come.
3. Meditate.

 

I'm in a hotel. My mother is in the hospital nearby, she is fighting death. She is in pain. I'm here with my Mamo Jan, I don't know how to sleep after hearing my mother in that pain.
May she get recovered, make dua for her. Anyone, everyone make dua for my mother. Dua that may her liver and all those issues get recovered. May a blessing save her. A very hard test of life. She should be recovered by now but as its still not good so,it is very dangerous.
Ahh...you too pray... all my relatives are also praying.
آمین
This is reality of life. Harsh.

 

My heart is congested.

 

30-April-2024
No sleep tonight
Offered Fajar.
Quran : Read.
........
How I would handle any bad news? Ahh...it is frightening me alot. Heavy-hearted.

 

I kissed her feet one final time.
I embraced my mother for the last time,
Lowered her into her grave,
Turned her face towards the Qibla,
Thrice poured soil with my own hands, as per Sunnah.
Read Quran and prayed for her soul.
When you entrust someone precious to God,
Your actions must also submit to His will.
........
I buried my happiness. I buried my heart. Yes, this is life. It is truth. Its without her.
A four year struggle with cancer came to an end.
.........
When death comes, it is sudden and unpredictable.

الموت​

 

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