1,5 years of change after 20 years of p*rn (including sissy hypno)

Stay strong mate. It's a cruel addiction. I've been very close to falling into it. I've had my moments. I've luckily never got into hypnosis, I tried it once or twice and knew something was terribly wrong. It wasn't me.

I've decided to quit fully with the horrible Feminisation and Ladyboy shit today. It's not me, porn is controling my very mind. I will quit after this week, as I want to enjoy p with some actual girls I'm attracted to, so I don't quit on a bad note. Just finish where I started, which was almost virtually harmless.

I started crossdressing, thinking it was a harmless fetish. I quit for 2-3 years and it came back, I quit again, came back really bad and porn and crossdressing tricked me into believing I was partly woman, and I honestly believe it was the desire for sex that porn made me feel. It didn't help being a horny teenager, but porn just made everything bad. Unrealistic and false fantasies which the real me would shudder at. I eventually stopped again and relapsed once more, which was the time which made me realise a lot. I was lucky, it wasn't as strong as before. It hit me hard, I knew it wasn't me. I knew crossdressing as a kid was a fetish I accidentally got into and wish I'd never have bothered. The stuff it makes you believe you are is honestly sickening. Porn made things absolutely atrocious for me. All's I knew when I started was that crossdressing turned me on. I presume I crossdressed because I wanted women so badly.

The past few years have been tough for me and everything is running a lot more smoothly now, apart from 1 thing. Porn. I'm still a bit depressed and suffering anxiety from it all. I know now how bad of a contribution to my previous depression it was. I've began to rebuild myself and the last thing in the way is porn. It makes me feel ashamed and that's the real me feeling that. I'm having the best days of my life, being my true self, built up some great confidence, got some mates, nobody there trying to pull me down, just evil porn. It's stopping me fully being satisfied with my life. I hope people read this and see the danger, especially in fetish related porn.

I'm glad you overcame this awful addiction bro. It almost ruined me, and your post helped save me.
 
Hi @Optimist85 , i remember you helping me in my past thread a year and half ago now when you were just starting to get off. Thanks for that. So good to see youve kicked it man. Unfortunately for me I havent been able to get off it completely. there were times when I wasnt drawn to it but it always came back, and it got to the point where it was all i watched in the last few months. Then it got worse when I started listening to the B sleep genres in the last month. My dreams have been different - s***y related. Today it got weirder. Posted recently about it - https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...-someone-who-went-too-deep-into-hypno.258225/ - it all just leaves me feeling empty and confused that something can have so much power over me hey.

Youre an inspiration though man. Although it feels like I consistently fail, I will never give up the hope Ill be free from it all.
 
Spirale said:
Hi @Optimist85 , i remember you helping me in my past thread a year and half ago now when you were just starting to get off. Thanks for that. So good to see youve kicked it man. Unfortunately for me I havent been able to get off it completely. there were times when I wasnt drawn to it but it always came back, and it got to the point where it was all i watched in the last few months. Then it got worse when I started listening to the B sleep genres in the last month. My dreams have been different - s***y related. Today it got weirder. Posted recently about it - https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...-someone-who-went-too-deep-into-hypno.258225/ - it all just leaves me feeling empty and confused that something can have so much power over me hey.

Youre an inspiration though man. Although it feels like I consistently fail, I will never give up the hope Ill be free from it all.
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The most effective way to get out of the downward spiral is to condition yourself with beneficial hypnosis files. for example try a program from hypnosisdownloads(com). but before you do that, listen to vive deep clean and write on a paper what you want to get rid of. you can also do that several times. there are also files to masturbate less and stop doing compulsive things on hypnosisdownloads. you can also try marisa peer "you are enough". costs 10 bucks or so.

nofap is ok to stop some of the compulsive behavior, but you have to do things actively.

in my opinion "heavy" files like B sl**p cause trauma like states in the brain. it takes time to recover. give yourself the time you need. it doesn't matter if it's a year or longer, even regular therapy needs time. One step after the other.
 
Femboyx0 said:
I am an expert on Anti sissy hypnosis please contact me as quickly as possible, I am leading the charge against sissy
hypno content on the internett, helping flag and remove all of it, and you need to join in to. their breaking the
law their racist,sexist, trying to entrap minors/ underage children in their fetish. I need as many as possible to help aid me
in this quest. their are causeing people to harm others and themselfes.
Click to expand...
I want to helo
 
Optimist85 said:
I started my healing journey 1,5 years ago after a traumatic "sissy" hypnosis experience. Some of you may or may not know what this is, but if p*rn is an illness, sissy hypno is cancer. It can be explained as media that destroys lives, produced by malignant people without any ethics or morals.

Unfortunately I used those kind of hypnosis files for a very long time. I did not realize that I had a problem until I almost had a mental breakdown induced by those files. I hope that my success story will serve as a warning, but will also give those hope who went down the same rabbit hole.

I first came in contact with p*rn when I was about 12 (I'm 33 now). I even bought magazines in shops when I was about 14. I do not know if the owners of the shops thought that I'm older or that they frankly did not give a f*. Later I accessed p*rn over the internet, which was a novelty back then. It started with softcore and evolved into different fetishes. Even during school I watched extreme p*rn and I was masturbating compulsively several times a day. I started crossdressing for fun, nothing serious. It was something that was probably connected to a bad childhood experience that I do not remember anymore, but I was told about it. On the other side I started p*rn induced self harming behavior, which I could stop years later.

During my time in the military I had little to no access to p*rn, and it made me a stronger person. This is probably the reason that I also met my first steady girlfriend at that time. It did not last very long but it was a good relationship.

Later at university I unfortunately started my bad habits again. This included joining transgender forums, because i slipped into sissy p*rn. Probably it was curiosity paired with bad influence from p*rn sites. As you can imagine, it was a time filled with anxiety.

I remember that over a decade ago I found a hypnosis video on youtube. It was about changing your gender. But honestly I did not believe it works and I thought if it works it only lasts for the duration of the 30 minutes hypnosis. I listened several times and I found myself thinking I was born a woman and even wondered if I have a p*ssy later after that. I also had a delusion that I have long legs and I bought some pieces of female clothing and other stuff. The funny thing is I figured that out over a decade later, I believed that those thoughts were my thoughts. And I believed that made up experiences really happened. Now I realize that I had a depression that was caused by body dysmorphia. And the body dysmorphia was caused by this hypnosis.

Later I discovered hypnosis recordings by a hypnodomme, which were also about gender change. As I listened to the other hypnosis before, I believed that this is something I want and something I like. Basically the lies I believed, made me believe other more extreme lies. And the only thing they gave me, besides new fetishes were anxiety, stress, panic attacks and occasional depression. Also this records made me believe that all these things were "mine ideas". Something I realized a lot later. But many things make more sense when you look back. Typing these words makes me realize that I went through hell and didn't even know it.

About 1,5 years ago I had a couple of failed relationships behind me. I met the wrong women, because I listened to hypnosis that made me believe that it is good to be treated like sh*t. Which lead me to a dark spot, looking for more hypnosis files and I found some extreme files that can be described as personality erasure. I did not know the exact content and I thought they were just about "feminisation", but I believed blindly that those are some fun files. Also the internet was full of wrong information about the files to lure people in, so that the person making these files can cash in.

It was insane in a dreadful way, and fighting the complusions / addiction symptoms that were created by hypnosis was absolutely the toughest thing I ever did in my life. It was a fight between life and death. At that moment I chose to live. It wasn't just hard, it was very hard. Extreme anxiety, insomnia, not being sure if I will be able to live a normal life again. This was not just quitting p*rn, it was quitting death and fighting for sanity. When you start dreaming about those hypnosis files and when you start hearing voices like a schizophrenic (and this never happened before), you definitely know something is very wrong. This happened in February 2018.

Today

My current situation is a stark contrast to everything that happened.

I managed to stop sissy hypno files entirely. Maybe I listened once or twice since in the past 1,5 years, but never a whole file. I feel no desire whatsoever to do so. The extreme compulsions I had are entirely gone.

During that time I had some periods without PMO that lasted up to two months. Currently I rarely watch p*rn, and I masturbate only when I don't see my girlfriend for a while. I do not edge and if I watch p*rn to get off, I only do it for as short as possible. In general my goal is to cut it out entirely. Also I almost never watch sh*male p*rn or other extreme things anymore as I find it disgusting (despite watching extreme p*rn for almost two decades).

I threw away all my crossdressing things. I feel no desire or compulsion to buy anything to crossdress anymore. It is something I do not connect with my personality anymore.

I fully identify as man, and have no desire to be a woman. Thinking I was born a woman is something that clearly was never my wish but that I was influenced into as a young individual. Funny how curiosity can lead you to wrong choices and a horrible time.

I enjoy regular sex and everything works just fine. My sexual drive has decreased, but I assume that it was rather an induced compulsion than genuine drive. Also I'm not 20 anymore, but I probably still have more sex than most twenty-something out there. It is a bit weird if you are used to being controlled by a compulsion and then it's gone.

In general I became much more confident, I do not tolerate if people do not respect me, I do not tolerate if somebody treats me bad in a relationship and I state my opinion if I want to. There are no "blocks" anymore to say no or to tell somebody to f*ck off. While I am kind and respectful to others, I draw a very clear line to what I accept and what I do not accept.

I have far less anxiety and am calm and centered. When I think about my past self I feel sorry for that poor person I was.

My relationships improved. I do not accept if friends treat me bad, even if it's subtle. This lead to some conflict, but they got used to it.

Also I started to pursue some dreams that I didn't thought I can do them. Currently I'm working on a diploma to become a certified hypnotist so that I can help others and that's just one of my projects.

Dear reader.

If you are or were in a similar situation, you can change. Yes, it is hard in the beginning, but it is worth it. As I used hypnosis files to destroy my confidence I found records that built me up again and that restored my confidence. If by any means possible get professional help, or get files from credible sources. Get rid of those suggestions and triggers and start enjoying your life. As impossible as it may seem at the moment - it is possible.
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Hello

Indeed a good read, I am 40 and for some part of life I had been in similar situation that I had a feeling for cross dressing and felt a part of me wwas woman but only when I watched porn and often watched sissy porn and transwoman and hypnosis but I am clean since 1st Nov 2019. So if these sissy hypno files work so well then on you tube ther eare hypno and sound vidoes that clain to make you Alpha male and increse erection and cure ED . so then my point is they might worl as well? what is you rtake on that ?
 
Mad_Hermit said:
Hello

Indeed a good read, I am 40 and for some part of life I had been in similar situation that I had a feeling for cross dressing and felt a part of me wwas woman but only when I watched porn and often watched sissy porn and transwoman and hypnosis but I am clean since 1st Nov 2019. So if these sissy hypno files work so well then on you tube ther eare hypno and sound vidoes that clain to make you Alpha male and increse erection and cure ED . so then my point is they might worl as well? what is you rtake on that ?
Click to expand...

Hypnosis works. It can cure ED if it is only psychological.

If you have a fetish, it is basically a trigger for arousal.

It is not "bad" to crossdress, but it is bad to listen to sissy hypno as it is very destructive to your psyche.

In modern society the concept of "alpha males" is stupid. It is enough to be confident, and to not overcompensate.
 
Congratulations on conquering it as much as you did. Your path shows that it's a journey, as you are still fighting. One question I have for you is: do you have any empowering files to listen to, something that would perhaps be the exact opposite of the sissy hypno?
 
Hey Nifahs, here's the exact opposite of sissy hypno!:


The narration is from Henry Rollins' The Iron and the Soul.
 
Optimist85 said:
Hypnosis works. It can cure ED if it is only psychological.

If you have a fetish, it is basically a trigger for arousal.

It is not "bad" to crossdress, but it is bad to listen to sissy hypno as it is very destructive to your psyche.

In modern society the concept of "alpha males" is stupid. It is enough to be confident, and to not overcompensate.
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Sorry, crossdressing certainly is bad as causes mental damage if after curing masochism. The "alpha male" thing is not a myth.
 
nifahs said:
Congratulations on conquering it as much as you did. Your path shows that it's a journey, as you are still fighting. One question I have for you is: do you have any empowering files to listen to, something that would perhaps be the exact opposite of the sissy hypno?
Click to expand...

In general I reccomend everything that is encouraging to live a healthy and better life and files, books, self talk that makes you more confident. This is the opposite you asked for.

Regarding erotic hypnosis, I reccomend relaxation triggers to have less issues with compulsions.

There is also something called the rewind technique which can be used with phobias but also with fetishes. Its similar to the cinema technique in NLP. You can check out hypnosisdownloads for that. In general this should help a lot if you have obsessive thoughts induced by hypnosis.

The goal is relaxation as a compulsion makes you tense and the reduction of obsessive thoughts.
 
Optimist85 said:
and I found some extreme files that can be described as personality erasure
Click to expand...

Yes, I understand what you mean by these. I too listened to them and I ended up in a dazed trance, standing in my garden just saying the name of the being I believed myself to be, over and over but
only after I had first taken all my clothes off and performed a solo sex act which anyone could have seen.
It made me do dangerous things I wouldn't have otherwise done.

I started watching sissy hypno from being here, of all things. I almost joined NoFap 3+ years ago and was looking through these forums when someone posted a thread saying that sh has the power to make men feel like females. I was super horny and in search of a dopamine fix and this coupled with my mocking, scoffing attitude that porn couldn't in any way change me, led me down the sp/sh rabbit hole until now and it has led me to also think I was female. I came out as Trans to some people and talked about how having a male sex organ is repulsive to me. I too have heard voices and
I have even found myself wandering about my house on all fours, thinking I was being taken there on a leash by a mistress.

These files are PURE EVIL. They are designed by sadists and psychopaths I believe. I am glad you got out and your story is inspirational to me. You have 500+ days so you are a winner. I am going to Follow you and learn from your experiences. Thank you for sharing your story.

Please be aware though, from my time on sp/sh forums, I have come to know that some from those places post here specifically to lead people back to discords and places where sissy porn can be viewed. There was a poster from a sissy site who came here to NoFap and wrote a very clever thread which could be viewed as someone seeking help but it was full of triggers to get people to go back to using. It was sent to me as a private message on one of the sissy sites and the user I was communicating with spoke with relish about how they had got some sissies back into the fold. Beware, this type of porn IS a cancer as the OP has noted. It is darkness personified and it attracts heartless types who want to see others ensnared in its misery. Stay well away. Find positive, healthy things to do and put your mind to those.

I am in the process of rebuilding my life from nothing and all because I wanted a dopamine high. It's NOT worth it. I too watched some of the so called harmless hypnosis files on YouTube. The very dangerous ones which I think you alluded to and I tried out are all on YouTube. I have reported these videos on numerous occasions to YouTube but nothing ever gets done. They are highly damaging to one's psyche and I am hoping that in time I can recover but I am still viewing the person looking back at me in the mirror as some kind of impostor because I am still very much in a female persona/mindset. I just want the old me back. I was far from perfect but at least I knew who I was.
 
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hi i know exactly what you are talking about, it happened to my husband, he still has his thoughts, telling him to dress in women's clothes, and put his penis back to look like a woman, I don't know what to do anymore he returns to the thoughts of a normal man, he is already two years away from pornography, but there is something else that does not let him return to normal. I'm from Brazil.
 
Vitoriosa said:
hi i know exactly what you are talking about, it happened to my husband, he still has his thoughts, telling him to dress in women's clothes, and put his penis back to look like a woman, I don't know what to do anymore he returns to the thoughts of a normal man, he is already two years away from pornography, but there is something else that does not let him return to normal. I'm from Brazil.
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Make sure he isn't watching porn firstly, he might still be getting his fix. Secondly, make sure he isn't masturbating at all. Thirdly, search the house for any items that could relate to crossdressing.
 
Wow, your story is so inspiring to me man, I have the same issue you had. I'm already almost 120 days on hard-mode, and these sissy fantasies still haunt me almost every day. I guess I have to wait longer. I know how hard it is to give up these thoughts, they are so tempting, so I admire you a lot, wonderful job mate and enjoy your new life, you deserve it. I wish someday I can get to the point where you are now.
 
OP: Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope that you are still doing well. I know too well the sissy hypno trap. I quit using porn about 6 years ago and went 2-1/2 years or so without it. I'd been watching sissy hypno porn steadily at that point and had found myself wanting to act out in real life. I knew at that point that if I didn't find away to break free from the porn, I was going to end up in bed with a man, myself dressed as a woman, and probably ruin my marriage and family. The odd thing was that I am not actually attracted to men at all, just the idea of being feminized and forced to do things whether I want to or not. Unfortunately, after 2-1/2 years, I found myself triggered at some point and began "using" again. I don't watch videos much anymore, but listen to lots of hypno audio recordings, and I am finding it extremely difficult to break free. There is one hypnotist in particular to whom I always seem to return. My mind is so conditioned to her voice that I can hear it even when I am not listening, and even though I know she has no idea who I am, part of me believes I am serving her in some way by listening to her.

I've contemplated why sissy hypno is such a draw for me. Again, I don't look at real-life men and want to sexually engage with them. The idea of "being with" any of my male friends disgusts me. So it isn't about men. I have never fit in well with groups of other men; I could care less about sports, but love literature and classical music. Most of my friends were girls until high school, and even after that, I never felt like an alpha male. Perhaps it's that women are usually on the passive end of sex, and that's what I want -- to be the recipient, not the driver; the one who is cherished. I think about all of the women (or girls, when I was a teen) that I became obsessed with -- maybe I just want someone to feel that way about me.

But sissy hypno is not the answer. It is an artificial but dangerously powerful substitute. Hopefully, I can break free once again, this time for good.
 
Vitoriosa said:
hi i know exactly what you are talking about, it happened to my husband, he still has his thoughts, telling him to dress in women's clothes, and put his penis back to look like a woman, I don't know what to do anymore he returns to the thoughts of a normal man, he is already two years away from pornography, but there is something else that does not let him return to normal. I'm from Brazil.
Click to expand...

I became trained in hypnosis myself and I suggest that you look up a professional hypnotist. The issue is that the subconscious learned a "faulty" behavior and needs to unlearn or replace it with another behavior. It can help if he writes down what still bothers him beforehand.
 
dlansky said:
OP: Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope that you are still doing well. I know too well the sissy hypno trap. I quit using porn about 6 years ago and went 2-1/2 years or so without it. I'd been watching sissy hypno porn steadily at that point and had found myself wanting to act out in real life. I knew at that point that if I didn't find away to break free from the porn, I was going to end up in bed with a man, myself dressed as a woman, and probably ruin my marriage and family. The odd thing was that I am not actually attracted to men at all, just the idea of being feminized and forced to do things whether I want to or not. Unfortunately, after 2-1/2 years, I found myself triggered at some point and began "using" again. I don't watch videos much anymore, but listen to lots of hypno audio recordings, and I am finding it extremely difficult to break free. There is one hypnotist in particular to whom I always seem to return. My mind is so conditioned to her voice that I can hear it even when I am not listening, and even though I know she has no idea who I am, part of me believes I am serving her in some way by listening to her.

I've contemplated why sissy hypno is such a draw for me. Again, I don't look at real-life men and want to sexually engage with them. The idea of "being with" any of my male friends disgusts me. So it isn't about men. I have never fit in well with groups of other men; I could care less about sports, but love literature and classical music. Most of my friends were girls until high school, and even after that, I never felt like an alpha male. Perhaps it's that women are usually on the passive end of sex, and that's what I want -- to be the recipient, not the driver; the one who is cherished. I think about all of the women (or girls, when I was a teen) that I became obsessed with -- maybe I just want someone to feel that way about me.

But sissy hypno is not the answer. It is an artificial but dangerously powerful substitute. Hopefully, I can break free once again, this time for good.
Click to expand...

I know where you are and I hope that you will break free someday and live a normal life. Listen to a deprogram file if possible (vives deep clean for example). Good luck
 
Pigwaran said:
Wow, your story is so inspiring to me man, I have the same issue you had. I'm already almost 120 days on hard-mode, and these sissy fantasies still haunt me almost every day. I guess I have to wait longer. I know how hard it is to give up these thoughts, they are so tempting, so I admire you a lot, wonderful job mate and enjoy your new life, you deserve it. I wish someday I can get to the point where you are now.
Click to expand...

The negative thoughts will fade. However, it can help if you listen to a deprogram file to get rid of the posthypnotic effects, or visit a hypnotist.
 
skylark said:
Yes, I understand what you mean by these. I too listened to them and I ended up in a dazed trance, standing in my garden just saying the name of the being I believed myself to be, over and over but
only after I had first taken all my clothes off and performed a solo sex act which anyone could have seen.
It made me do dangerous things I wouldn't have otherwise done.

I started watching sissy hypno from being here, of all things. I almost joined NoFap 3+ years ago and was looking through these forums when someone posted a thread saying that sh has the power to make men feel like females. I was super horny and in search of a dopamine fix and this coupled with my mocking, scoffing attitude that porn couldn't in any way change me, led me down the sp/sh rabbit hole until now and it has led me to also think I was female. I came out as Trans to some people and talked about how having a male sex organ is repulsive to me. I too have heard voices and
I have even found myself wandering about my house on all fours, thinking I was being taken there on a leash by a mistress.

These files are PURE EVIL. They are designed by sadists and psychopaths I believe. I am glad you got out and your story is inspirational to me. You have 500+ days so you are a winner. I am going to Follow you and learn from your experiences. Thank you for sharing your story.

Please be aware though, from my time on sp/sh forums, I have come to know that some from those places post here specifically to lead people back to discords and places where sissy porn can be viewed. There was a poster from a sissy site who came here to NoFap and wrote a very clever thread which could be viewed as someone seeking help but it was full of triggers to get people to go back to using. It was sent to me as a private message on one of the sissy sites and the user I was communicating with spoke with relish about how they had got some sissies back into the fold. Beware, this type of porn IS a cancer as the OP has noted. It is darkness personified and it attracts heartless types who want to see others ensnared in its misery. Stay well away. Find positive, healthy things to do and put your mind to those.

I am in the process of rebuilding my life from nothing and all because I wanted a dopamine high. It's NOT worth it. I too watched some of the so called harmless hypnosis files on YouTube. The very dangerous ones which I think you alluded to and I tried out are all on YouTube. I have reported these videos on numerous occasions to YouTube but nothing ever gets done. They are highly damaging to one's psyche and I am hoping that in time I can recover but I am still viewing the person looking back at me in the mirror as some kind of impostor because I am still very much in a female persona/mindset. I just want the old me back. I was far from perfect but at least I knew who I was.
Click to expand...

Yes, the files are very damaging, but remember that you are able to heal. Listen to a deprogram file (vive deep clean) if necessary several times or visit a hypnotist. Healing and rebuilding takes time but it's worth it.
 
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