100 Cold Approaches

[Kowe]

Went out to sharpen the sword but managed to only do 1 approach (1 group of 2 girls). The conversation was short but managed to sustain it for a few minutes. I liked one of the 2 girls but didn't bother asking her number because I thought I wasn't able to build much rapport. Maybe if I find a girl attractive but the conversation is drying up I'll ask for the number anyways just to take things further and so that I can't 'regret' anything, even if I know that the odds of rejection are high.

The negative thoughts were there again but they weren't as intense as the last time.

Total: 22/100



I think it depends on how you frame it. If you tell yourself that it is creepy, then that will become a part of your belief system and you will act (or rather not act) according to that belief system. I try not to care too much what goes through a woman's mind. I think it is kind of inevitable that a lot of girls will think of you as a weirdo when you cold approach on a street. If I was worried not to look like a creep, then I wouldn't bother doing this. Some of them will be open and responsive for a chat, but most of them won't.



I'd say I have that fear of being judged too, but I try to become detached from it and not to care. I think that the negative experiences you described are a part of the game and cannot be circumvented. After 22 approaches, I do admit that this can be frustrating and exhausting. But when you are learning, the ego is the enemy. I try to be humble and accept the fact that most girls I'll talk to won't be interested. I leave my door not with the goal of getting numbers, but to approach at least one girl so that I did at least one act that went beyond the scope of what I thought I was capable of.



Is going out and approaching girls the most noble thing you can do in the moral sense of the word? No.

Are there better ways to spend your time? Yes.

Is it something you can learn from? I think so.

I have some time on my hands now and I like to take a challenge which allows me to grow and learn.

Will it bring fulfillment? I doubt it. I try not to put too much value in the material world because then I'll be miserable once I'm depraved from it.

I do admire your tenacity man.

In my case, I'd do it a few times and then gave up for months!

I can't see myself getting back out there unless I joined some sort of group to do it with field reports and stuff like that.

 

[Deleted Account]

I agree but in all of this I ask, are we doing it to have sex at the end? Is that the goal?

Or are we doing it as some kind of 'challenge' to feel better about ourselves, a bit like taking cold showers?

Or are we telling ourselves it's the second one when really it's the first?

Honestly, it has changed how I perceive myself and the world so much that I'm much more attracted to the understanding of myself and relationships than the result itself.

The result is part of the process. I approach girls to have fulfilling relationships with them. To say otherwise would be a lie. When I approach a girl I like her.
But having sex is not my main goal in my hierarchy of objectives in the long run. There is something much deeper than that. I've even intentionally messed up some early relationships to explore certain states of mind.

Focusing on the result is giving up before I even begin. Because it's not something you can control.
Personally my goal is to become free to approach any girl at any time and free myself from all the conscious and unconscious blocks you can have.

It can go both ways. Some guys are desperate to get as much sex as possible to fill the emptiness they feel inside.

Others prefer to see this process as something much healthier, deeper and more centered on themselves.

It depends

 

[Kowe]

Honestly, it has changed how I perceive myself and the world so much that I'm much more attracted to the understanding of myself and relationships than the result itself.

The result is part of the process. I approach girls to have fulfilling relationships with them. To say otherwise would be a lie. When I approach a girl I like her.
But having sex is not my main goal in my hierarchy of objectives in the long run. There is something much deeper than that. I've even intentionally messed up some early relationships to explore certain states of mind.

Focusing on the result is giving up before I even begin. Because it's not something you can control.
Personally my goal is to become free to approach any girl at any time and free myself from all the conscious and unconscious blocks you can have.

It can go both ways. Some guys are desperate to get as much sex as possible to fill the emptiness they feel inside.

Others prefer to see this process as something much healthier, deeper and more centered on themselves.

It depends

Approaching a woman you're attracted to it anytime sounds weird though. I mean, who knows if they're married or busy studying or going through their own traumas. How do you even know they're of the correct legal age? It really is difficult from looking at total strangers on the street to know where they're at in life and my spiritual path needing to get in their way feels disruptive to me.

Isn't it better to try to narrow it down to women who are also looking for partners, which would make places like bars, nightclubs and other sorts of social clubs much better percentage wise?

I suppose I feel like cold approach is breaking some social norms which exist for a reason. And it's kind of invasive behaviour.

But it can be alright.

 

[Deleted Account]

Approaching a woman you're attracted to it anytime sounds weird though. I mean, who knows if they're married or busy studying or going through their own traumas. How do you even know they're of the correct legal age? It really is difficult from looking at total strangers on the street to know where they're at in life and my spiritual path needing to get in their way feels disruptive to me.

Isn't it better to try to narrow it down to women who are also looking for partners, which would make places like bars, nightclubs and other sorts of social clubs much better percentage wise?

I suppose I feel like cold approach is breaking some social norms which exist for a reason. And it's kind of invasive behaviour.

But it can be alright.

It's about not caring about social norms and doing what you want to do, and being okay with it.
What matters is what you want, not what other people think of you.

These social norms only exist in our heads. The truth is that when you start to blossom in this process you realize how much you set yourself limits in your daily life. Everything we say to ourselves about what is socially accepted, or fear of being rejected, of not being good enough, comes mostly from insecurities that are so ingrained in us that we end up believing them.

Approaching a girl on the street and expressing your vulnerability and compassion brings only positive things to the world.

I mean, who knows if they're married or busy studying or going through their own traumas. How do you even know they're of the correct legal age?

You don't know. You don't know what's going to happen. For the first time in your life you're losing control of what's going to happen. Yes, it's scary and our brains will do anything to make excuses for not doing it.
Yes you can get rejected, yes she can be busy, married, she can be underage, she can have a boyfriend. Her boyfriend can come over while you are talking to her. Anything can happen. So what if it does? I'm still here, alive, smiling
Tomorrow there may also be an earthquake and you can die. Who can read the future?

The real question to ask is: will I wait until the last day of my life to consider myself and what I really want instead of what I think is socially accepted? Am I going to let norms and fear dictate my life?
I made this decision when I was 19 years old and I don't regret it. The only regret I have is not having started earlier

 

[Kowe]

It's about not caring about social norms and doing what you want to do, and being okay with it.
What matters is what you want, not what other people think of you.

These social norms only exist in our heads. The truth is that when you start to blossom in this process you realize how much you set yourself limits in your daily life. Everything we say to ourselves about what is socially accepted, or fear of being rejected, of not being good enough, comes mostly from insecurities that are so ingrained in us that we end up believing them.

Approaching a girl on the street and expressing your vulnerability and compassion brings only positive things to the world.



You don't know. You don't know what's going to happen. For the first time in your life you're losing control of what's going to happen. Yes, it's scary and our brains will do anything to make excuses for not doing it.
Yes you can get rejected, yes she can be busy, married, she can be underage, she can have a boyfriend. Her boyfriend can come over while you are talking to her. Anything can happen. So what if it does? I'm still here, alive, smiling
Tomorrow there may also be an earthquake and you can die. Who can read the future?

The real question to ask is: will I wait until the last day of my life to consider myself and what I really want instead of what I think is socially accepted? Am I going to let norms and fear dictate my life?
I made this decision when I was 19 years old and I don't regret it. The only regret I have is not having started earlier

I'm not sure if social norms really 'only exist in our heads.' They do dictate how relationships develop. If I took a dump in public because 'social norms exist only in my head' I'd be arrested and perhaps lose a few friends. Even the PUA stuff like listening actively and using the pronoun 'you' all the time and empathic listening, it's not about ignoring social norms but more about becoming a more compassionate social being.

I'm not disagreeing with everything you've said. I've done cold approaches and am glad I did it.

I overall think that men are more attractive when they have a goal higher than sex that they are aiming for. There's something transcendent about that which makes men more like gods than mortals.

Then I think conversely, such men get sex. That's the old thing when you aren't actively pursuing it you often end up more able to attain it.

But cold approach, gaming and seduction are all interesting skills for sure. But personally, I believe we should focus on getting the life we want rather than talking to strangers in the streets.

 

[StoicContemplation]

I agree but in all of this I ask, are we doing it to have sex at the end? Is that the goal?

Or are we doing it as some kind of 'challenge' to feel better about ourselves, a bit like taking cold showers?

Or are we telling ourselves it's the second one when really it's the first?

Don't get me wrong: I do this to become better with women. The reason why I'm trying to leave sex out of the equation as much as possible is because otherwise, I would become frustrated quickly for the lack of instant results. Although I agree that it can be a frustrating endeavor, I do feel kinda more alive after I do it, whatever the outcome is.

"Why should you even bother doing this then?" Because in my adolescent years, I haven't had much experience with girls. I have missed a lot of opportunities to meet girls but never bothered taking the chance because I simply was afraid of it. I'm using this to get more desensitized to that process. I have done some approaches before this challenge, starting last year (not on a consistent basis though). I already find it less difficult to chat with a girl I don't know, for example in class or in a bar (something that I would have deemed unimaginable before). I think this has also to do with the fact that I'm generally more confident than I used to be. Exercise, quitting porn, almost finishing a degree, etc. contributed to that.

And I agree with your objection that the street isn't the best venue to meet women. Of all the possible places to meet them, then I would say that the street is the hardest, hands down. Unlike a bar (or even a coffee shop during the day), girls are the most hesitant to talk to you on the street.

However, the number of girls on the street can be limitless and you don't need to rely on a logistical set-up like a bar to meet girls. I don't see why you shouldn't tap into the street game once in a while just for the sake of experience. If you can approach a girl on the street, you literally can do it anywhere.

Approaching a woman you're attracted to it anytime sounds weird though. I mean, who knows if they're married or busy studying or going through their own traumas. How do you even know they're of the correct legal age? It really is difficult from looking at total strangers on the street to know where they're at in life and my spiritual path needing to get in their way feels disruptive to me

I think you are underestimating the triviality of an approach. For Christ's sake, we are social beings. Having a chat with a stranger may not be common, it's not comparable with something like running naked in public whilst screaming.

Do people around you care? No, they may look at you but at the end of the day they have their own problems and will forget about it.

Does the girl care? No, at maximum you will give her an ego boost that will wear off eventually. She will forget who you are in a few days. If she is not interested because she has a boyfriend, then she will communicate that in a way. She moves on with her day, so will you.

You talk about social norms. But what do today's 'social norms' tell us? That it is okay for your daughter to go to a stranger's apartment she has talked a bit with on Tinder but that she should cringe when a man approaches her for a chat? I'm not going to say that there are no norms of decency that set boundaries in social interactions, all I'm saying is that the contemporary social norms tend to promote behavior that leads to a more atomized and isolated society. Yes there are rules that govern a society, but will you get ostracized because you have the ability to talk with girls? I don't think so.

 

[Kowe]

Don't get me wrong: I do this to become better with women. The reason why I'm trying to leave sex out of the equation as much as possible is because otherwise, I would become frustrated quickly for the lack of instant results. Although I agree that it can be a frustrating endeavor, I do feel kinda more alive after I do it, whatever the outcome is.

"Why should you even bother doing this then?" Because in my adolescent years, I haven't had much experience with girls. I have missed a lot of opportunities to meet girls but never bothered taking the chance because I simply was afraid of it. I'm using this to get more desensitized to that process. I have done some approaches before this challenge, starting last year (not on a consistent basis though). I already find it less difficult to chat with a girl I don't know, for example in class or in a bar (something that I would have deemed unimaginable before). I think this has also to do with the fact that I'm generally more confident than I used to be. Exercise, quitting porn, almost finishing a degree, etc. contributed to that.

And I agree with your objection that the street isn't the best venue to meet women. Of all the possible places to meet them, then I would say that the street is the hardest, hands down. Unlike a bar (or even a coffee shop during the day), girls are the most hesitant to talk to you on the street.

However, the number of girls on the street can be limitless and you don't need to rely on a logistical set-up like a bar to meet girls. I don't see why you shouldn't tap into the street game once in a while just for the sake of experience. If you can approach a girl on the street, you literally can do it anywhere.



I think you are underestimating the triviality of an approach. For Christ's sake, we are social beings. Having a chat with a stranger may not be common, it's not comparable with something like running naked in public whilst screaming.

Do people around you care? No, they may look at you but at the end of the day they have their own problems and will forget about it.

Does the girl care? No, at maximum you will give her an ego boost that will wear off eventually. She will forget who you are in a few days. If she is not interested because she has a boyfriend, then she will communicate that in a way. She moves on with her day, so will you.

You talk about social norms. But what do today's 'social norms' tell us? That it is okay for your daughter to go to a stranger's apartment she has talked a bit with on Tinder but that she should cringe when a man approaches her for a chat? I'm not going to say that there are no norms of decency that set boundaries in social interactions, all I'm saying is that the contemporary social norms tend to promote behavior that leads to a more atomized and isolated society. Yes there are rules that govern a society, but will you get ostracized because you have the ability to talk with girls? I don't think so.

Good post man!

I have become a bit jaded in recent years and I look back wondering how I ever did cold approach.

Like you, I also did it in foreign countries where I had a bit of a mystique. Plus, when you are in a foreign country doing something out of the ordinary is much easier in general, since you're already in an outsider headspace.

It's funny you talk about street game I'm looking back and realising I don't know if I've ever done street game.

I've done coffee shops/malls/bars/trains/train platforms/train stations/planes/restaurants/art galleries

I've also done stuff like asking for the number of my personal trainer or chatting with staff to try to get their details in bars/coffee shops. Cringe even thinking about it!

But the actual street? I don't think so.

Unlikely I'll do it in lockdown but maybe I'm just using this time as an excuse?

 

[StoicContemplation]

Went out for a walk and did 1 approach (a group of 2 girls again).

Was able to have a bit of a chat that was okay but I felt a bit rusty. Had a bit of a lazy weekend where I didn't exercise and didn't eat clean. This has put me in a state of mind that wasn't optimal. This shows that game isn't only about going out and talking to girls, but also having a lifestyle that makes you a better man so that you can communicate that confidence. Note that you should have a lifestyle of self-actualization for yourself and not for girls. It just happens that girls gravitate towards men who have their shit together...

I'll try to get some more volume tomorrow so that I can't regret getting most out of it whilst being here. I realize that getting a more refined game (and results) is hard when you do this on a sporadic basis, like one approach every week. Sometimes it feels frustrating when your actions don't meet the opportunities (like when you cross a girls and she holds eye contact)...

Total: 23/100

 

[StoicContemplation]

Only 1 approach today.

The girl was open and helpful enough for a chat. A mistake that I make is that when I run out of gas and don't know what to say anymore, I just say thank you and say bye. It's not that the girl gave me an indication that she did not like me, but I find it hard to talk for more than 5 minutes that enables some kind of rapport. I can't expect that the girl will ask me a lot of questions when I'm only chatting with her for a few minutes. In essence, you have to do the work in the hope that she will 'bite' and start asking you a personal question so that you can shift it towards a more engaging conversation.

Nonetheless, I already learned some insightful things during this challenge. I see it as a marathon, not a sprint. I think it is no wonder that most guys who are into day game are a bit older (26y+) as these guys have more life experience which makes it easier for them to have random chats with strangers in comparison to a student like me who is in his early 20's. I also think that girls feel more comfortable with guys who are a bit older. But I don't see this as a reason not to start at a young age. Quite the contrary, if I'm creating the neural pathways for this now it will only become easier in the future.

Total: 24/100

 

[Kowe]

Sounds like a good approach!

Where do you approach? Do you hang around in a park looking out for girls to approach?

Or are you walking around town and just acting when you see someone?

 

[StoicContemplation]

Sounds like a good approach!

Where do you approach? Do you hang around in a park looking out for girls to approach?

Or are you walking around town and just acting when you see someone?

To be honest, I don't like venues with too much foot traffic (even though the volume of girls is the highest in e.g. a fashion street). I usually go to a park that is close to a square (there are people there, but it's not packed) and walk around a bit, checking if I see an opportunity and then move on to the the square. If the square is empty then I'd walk around in some streets in the vicinity thereof.

I do notice that I become a bit frustrated when I don't see any prospects around. This has also to do with the fact that when I know I'm going to approach a girl (even if I don't see the prospect yet), stress levels rise and I become a bit more sensitive to negative thoughts. This frustration can become more acute when I then see an opportunity but pussy out. I think the brain is always looking for an excuse not to 'jump into the water'. You'll always make up reasons not to approach. It's important to learn to deal with these negative emotions.

I haven't really tried sticking to one venue whilst waiting to see a girl. I like to keep walking instead of waiting. Maybe I should switch gears and stick to one venue. I need more infield exposure to really give advice on that. I'm just outlining what I have been doing since I have started this thread.

 

[Deleted Account]

To be honest, I don't like venues with too much foot traffic (even though the volume of girls is the highest in e.g. a fashion street). I usually go to a park that is close to a square (there are people there, but it's not packed) and walk around a bit, checking if I see an opportunity and then move on to the the square. If the square is empty then I'd walk around in some streets in the vicinity thereof.

I do notice that I become a bit frustrated when I don't see any prospects around. This has also to do with the fact that when I know I'm going to approach a girl (even if I don't see the prospect yet), stress levels rise and I become a bit more sensitive to negative thoughts. This frustration can become more acute when I then see an opportunity but pussy out. I think the brain is always looking for an excuse not to 'jump into the water'. You'll always make up reasons not to approach. It's important to learn to deal with these negative emotions.

I haven't really tried sticking to one venue whilst waiting to see a girl. I like to keep walking instead of waiting. Maybe I should switch gears and stick to one venue. I need more infield exposure to really give advice on that. I'm just outlining what I have been doing since I have started this thread.

Interesting man
Do you think anxiety comes from the fact that the mind is trying to figure out how not to be rejected (and doing things right) ?

I was also concerned by negative thoughts and the truth is I got rid of it after 2 years of practice. We can't avoid it at the beginning. This is so brutal for the brain to confront rejection that it's trying to not be rejected. But we want to approach which creates a sort of conflict in our head which leads to anxiety

 

[StoicContemplation]

Interesting man
Do you think anxiety comes from the fact that the mind is trying to figure out how not to be rejected (and doing things right) ?

I was also concerned by negative thoughts and the truth is I got rid of it after 2 years of practice. We can't avoid it at the beginning. This is so brutal for the brain to confront rejection that it's trying to not be rejected. But we want to approach which creates a sort of conflict in our head which leads to anxiety

It's hard to accurately pin down where that anxiety comes from. I don't see it as a logical process where my brains rationally gives me a reason not to approach. It's more like a spontaneous feeling.

It's a bit comparable with the reluctance of getting out of bed in the morning. You like the warmth of your sheets and don't want to get confronted with the lower temperature of the air so you procrastinate getting out of bed. Likewise with approaching, the tendency to avoid the discomfort of the approach can be stronger than my will of overcoming it and taking the opportunity. Besides there are always multiple excuses that race through my head (e.g. "she's too far away").

Went for a walk but didn't approach.

Thanks for the input anyways, Spiritus. Your words have made it easier to take the long view and put these negative thoughts in perspective. Sometimes these negative thoughts fade away and then I realize that these thoughts are not a part of my essence.

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius

 

[Kowe]

Do you take much time observing a potential approach or do you just go ahead and make the decision in a split second?

Sometimes I've considered an approach only to notice a few seconds later she was with a guy and felt relieved I didn't do it.

Also, do you always approach targets who are sitting down or do you also walk alongside moving targets?

What sort of lines do you use to open up the conversation?

Is it something like in the game like 'I just saw something crazy ....' or more generic lines?

 

[StoicContemplation]

Do you take much time observing a potential approach or do you just go ahead and make the decision in a split second?

For example: yesterday I saw a girl who was eating a sandwich at the square I frequent (when I was approaching the square). There is no much time between seeing the opportunity and making the decision to approach. On the other hand, most of the times I'm hesitant to make the decision.

Also, do you always approach targets who are sitting down or do you also walk alongside moving targets?

As for street game, most of the approaches are standing up. I haven't really considered sitting next to a girl on a bench and start talking with her, most of the approaches are with girls that cross me.

What sort of lines do you use to open up the conversation?

Since I am a foreigner, I always start with "Excuse me, do you speak English?"

Subsequently I use an 'eldery opener', which is an innocent question that inquires for information.

"Do you know if the Parliament is open to visit?"

"Do you know a place where I can buy steak?"

"Do you know where I can find the pet shop?"

I know that this can sound weird as I'm not really displaying my intentions. But I do think that the time you talk and chance of getting something are strongly correlated. If I went direct and started giving compliments from the get-go, how would I be able to keep a conversation going for 10 minutes? I imagine that the conversation would dry up very fast, it would be then a bit awkward (for me at least) to then subsequently jump to a more casual topic. Feel free to disagree. And again, I think that the fact that you are actually approaching is more important than how you are approaching.

The 'eldery opener' allows me to ramble a bit about a certain topic

"I find it very hard to find a steak in this place. Where I'm from I can just buy them in the supermarket but here it seems impossible to get a good piece of beef. I also don't see a lot of butchers in this city, I thought this country loved meat."

Now this gives a good chunk of information to the girl. If she is open for a chat, she will now ask me where I'm from or give her opinion on steak. This subsequently allows me to ramble a bit more and this 'deepens' the conversation (I won't just say I'm from country X, but I will also give opinions and facts about my country that establishes a rich answer, thus a richer conversation). I'm not an expert on it, but this is the tone that I try to establish in my approaches.

 

[Deleted Account]

For example: yesterday I saw a girl who was eating a sandwich at the square I frequent (when I was approaching the square). There is no much time between seeing the opportunity and making the decision to approach. On the other hand, most of the times I'm hesitant to make the decision.



As for street game, most of the approaches are standing up. I haven't really considered sitting next to a girl on a bench and start talking with her, most of the approaches are with girls that cross me.



Since I am a foreigner, I always start with "Excuse me, do you speak English?"

Subsequently I use an 'eldery opener', which is an innocent question that inquires for information.

"Do you know if the Parliament is open to visit?"

"Do you know a place where I can buy steak?"

"Do you know where I can find the pet shop?"

I know that this can sound weird as I'm not really displaying my intentions. But I do think that the time you talk and chance of getting something are strongly correlated. If I went direct and started giving compliments from the get-go, how would I be able to keep a conversation going for 10 minutes? I imagine that the conversation would dry up very fast, it would be then a bit awkward (for me at least) to then subsequently jump to a more casual topic. Feel free to disagree. And again, I think that the fact that you are actually approaching is more important than how you are approaching.

The 'eldery opener' allows me to ramble a bit about a certain topic

"I find it very hard to find a steak in this place. Where I'm from I can just buy them in the supermarket but here it seems impossible to get a good piece of beef. I also don't see a lot of butchers in this city, I thought this country loved meat."

Now this gives a good chunk of information to the girl. If she is open for a chat, she will now ask me where I'm from or give her opinion on steak. This subsequently allows me to ramble a bit more and this 'deepens' the conversation (I won't just say I'm from country X, but I will also give opinions and facts about my country that establishes a rich answer, thus a richer conversation). I'm not an expert on it, but this is the tone that I try to establish in my approaches.

I totally understand your way of looking at things.

my opinion :

I advice you to express honestly and unfiltered why you are going to talk to this girl.Maybe you will feel uncomfortable, you won't know how to keep the conversation going. But this is normal. This is not a problem at all (This is an opportunity for you to work on being okay with silences and not knowing what to say ^^).

The more comfortable you are with taking responsibility for your intentions and expressing them honestly, unfiltered and putting your ego aside, the happier you'll be. You won't have any regrets.
Plus you will become comfortable with discomfort little by little.
You will be able to express your feelings and emotions (ask yourself before approaching a girl : "How am I feeling ?" Scared? Excited? Stressed? And go fully express it, telling this girl you still had to come and talk to her. You'll feel an intense feeling of relief.

there won't be a gap between what you want deep down and what you really express anymore.
Telling a girl that you've seen her and you think she's lovely is taking the risk of plunging into the unknown and being rejected.
But When you'll be able to express your emotions and intentions, you'll go to the next step wich is "ok now i'm able to tell a girl I like her on the street. However I still look desperate, not at ease and needy, what do I do now?"
Then you'll find solutions after questionning yourself and reach that next level
And the next level
Again,
And again.

When I started I used to do the same thing but
One day I told myself that I was doing this more to avoid rejection than to make incredible encounters.
It was as if there was a gulf between what I wanted and what I was communicating. Because I thought that saying to a girl "you're pretty" made me weak.
It came from a very deep, buried insecurity.

Maybe behind this reflex to ask for a direction hides a deep insecurity or fear (fear of making her uncomfortable, bothering her, acting out of steps with others, being rejected, being weird, etc etc...) burried in your subconscious (or conscious) mind.
Do you act like this by default (because you're scared of exploring the opposite, which is showing inconditionnal love and interest) or by choice? (You could do the opposite without caring about the consequences. But you don't do it because you know whatever you say the girl will understand why you're here).
Each time you think you're acting a certain way because it's the right thing to do, Ask yourself this last question
If it's by default, it's a blockage. Like being overly nice. Kindness is a quality. But guys who are kind by default are anything but honest.

It's important to be able to show our interest without a filter.
When we can do one thing and its opposite we're free.
It means that we can ask for directions and talk to this girl about the weather. in fact de can talk about anything, we will subcommunicate that we love her anyway. Because we have explored the fact of showing interest inconditionnally and we assume it entirely from within. Not just externally.

The answer is not in what you say, but in how well you are able to express yourself fully. Being needy, overly nice, showing too much interest or not showing interest at all etc etc... these things are not a problem if we do it by choice.
So instead of asking yourself : what works best with girls. Ask yourself : what am I capable of doing. Even if It means going beyond what you think is socially accepted

 

[StoicContemplation]

It's been a while. Haven't really approached girls during my last days in Hungary.

Yesterday I took the plane and did 2 approaches. One was at the airport. Didn't really entail a conversation but yeah, I'm still counting it as the former me wouldn't even dare to ask a question.

The other one was the girl who sat next to me in the plane. Again, not really a cold approach in the strictest sense of the word but I did manage to have a conversation that was more personal of nature. Like I said, the old me wouldn't even have the courage to open up (both girls I approached were very attractive).

When you have done a couple of dozens approaches, you'll start to feel more comfortable having a little chat with girls during the day, especially in situations where the threshold is low (contrary to approaching on the streets for example).

I'm not sure if I will be able to update this thread consistently given the fact that I'm not living in a city anymore. I think it will be more on a sporadic basis, when for example I see a nice girl in the grocery store.

Total: 26/100

 

[Roffelaar]

Respect to you my man for doing what you are doing. I used to cold approach a lot before, but became a bit of a pussy lately. I know how hard it is to do daygame and especially when you are just by yourself.
I used to walk around for hours at the train station and going home without a single approach, even though hundreds of girls walked by lmao!! That's how I started though, got a bit better in the end, but still lol

The best thing that worked for me was to approach as many as possible just to overcome that fear. Even girls you don't really like appearance wise. If I would get the conversation going and the girl would ask what I'm up to I would always respond with that I'm in the city to tame the penguins in the local zoo. Making them jump through a circle of fire etc. Just telling random shit like that. It makes the conversation more fun and energetic. Sometimes they even believe you, hilarious!

I really want to start daygaming again after reading this thread...

 

[Divine By Design]

Really impressive, man. Very admirable.

 

[brassknucks]

Thanks for a reminder because of this thread. I gotta go out sarging.