Days 6/21 Today was quite good. I decided to learn how to knit and it felt good as I was focusing my energy on something more beneficial. So today I felt better
Shucks, I'm disappointed that I didn't see this event when I started my 21 days which is over today (9/26)...
Day 1/21. Back to work today after yesterday's sick leave. Productive but very tired. Going to bed now.
I am glad you are liking it It takes time, but it's the best use of my time online. Click on the link in my signature and it will lead you to full explanation.
Today: 5 Days out of 21 Days Total: 26 Days! Tomorrow- 27 Days! Update: Deep into the flatline! My penis is DEAD! Not even one single morning wood today! I need to have faith on this journey
Hello guys. Am so excited to have gotten this far.. I started with the 7 day challenge. I Completed that and moved to the 14 day challenge. With God's help, I also completed that and now am here for the 21 day challenge. Whew. So here is day 0 for this challenge. Let's do it yall!!!
Day 7/21 And there I completed week. I'm so happy about it. I'm getting my energy back nowdays. It's going to be tough, But will succeed eventually.
Day 2/21 I traveled again for my weekly business meeting to a nearby city. The day passed into a working atmosphere. As always, the problem arose in the hotel room, but I managed myself.
Day 0/21 I accidentally relapsed today and I feel so bad. So I decided to just restart on this challenge and push myself to the 21 days. I felt horrible after I relapsed and I don’t want this addiction to be a part of my life anymore. I am so sick and tired of this disease ruining my life that I am going to try so hard this time. Push yourself and achieve your goals. “Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done”. Good luck all!
I have successfully dealt with a massive urge to masturbate, it might be helpful for you to read it. Writing it is definitely very helpful to me. If you have read my guide and liked it, this comment is a must read. Day 8 (Total 29) - Went to bed too late and woke up to early. None of this was my fault, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is I did not get enough sleep. I've slept in total for less than 6 hours. Normally I need a 7-8 hours of sleep in order to function properly. Lack of sleep has always been my biggest trigger for relapse, mainly because I do not like how I feel and I want to change something. Ideal scenario is going back to bed and sleeping some more. But, it's not like I always have the opportunity to go back to sleep, but when I have, if I am struggling with falling asleep one quick fap solves the problem. Of course, that wasn't the option today. I did not even cross my mind. Started the day like I always do, got out of bed, did some exercises and started meditating. Due to back pain when sitting on a chair or on a floor, I am forced to meditate lying on my back. It's fine, I got used to it. But, this particular posture is very relaxing and if i start fantasizing about sex or masturbation, erection follows... And I did it this morning. Lack of sleep slow down my thinking, awareness and my reasoning skills. Meditation suffer, and my mind wanders more than usual. It started with a thought about my neighbor (like I wrote yesterday, this is the "First Wave" and I could not do anything about it). REMEMBER: WE DO NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER WHICH THOUGHTS ENTER OUR CONSCIOUSNESS. But we are responsible for what happens next! If we fed that though it will become a real monster and the more attention we give to that though by fantasizing or trying to rationalize whether we should or should not relapse the more problems we create for ourselves. So... by focusing our attention on the initial though we are creating more and more problems. That is just what I did! I have started fantasizing and feeding that though. What followed was an erection. This is the "Second Wave", as you can see I am entirely responsible for this. Feeding the initial though will always lead to the Second wave and it will make this much worse! Once I realized what I have started doing, I have tried practicing Four Steps during my meditation at it worked to some extent. But the thing is, when I am meditating I do not have a "good" Refocus activity at hand. I have tried counting backwards from 100 to 1 in increments of 3 (100,97,94,91....) and it has worked for a moment but that I had some more thoughts about how "great" it would be to masturbate: "If I masturbate right now, it won't really be a relapse. One masturbation after 29 Days is not so bad, I can continue this challenge and make two separate counters, one for masturbation and the other for porn". Then, I have remembered this thread and the comments I wrote against masturbation and I had some more thoughts: "No, there is no way for me to limit masturbation to only once a month. If I masturbate right now, I will throw away all the progress..." And I did what had to be done. Ended my meditation earlier, normally I meditate 35 minutes per sit, but I ended it 3 minutes earlier. Once I got up, erection was gone in a matter of seconds. Next, I did my favorite Refocus activity and played a couple of brain games (10 minutes total) and I was fine. Completed my morning routine by reading for 45 minutes. Those kind urges are the hardest for me to deal with. When the brain keeps telling me "how good it is to masturbate", it is impossible to fight it and try finding reasons for why I shouldn't masturbate. The only thing I can do during that time is practice the Four Steps and one of the Refocus activities. Because this battle in this state of mind cannot be won. Our addictive brain is full of tricks and it wants it's fix so badly. We can prepare in advance by writing the reason "Why we shouldn't relapse" and by writing possible Refocus activity's that we can do during this "brain attack". Of course, it is all pointless unless we are willing to do what we said we are going to do. And that part is hard. Remember: What you think and feel doesn't matter, what matters is how you ACT! So, here is a quick summary of how I have applied Four Steps this morning. Step 1: Relabel - Though about masturbation and relapsing, Rationalizing, Fantasizing Step 2: Reframe - This is not me! This is my addictive brain speaking! Wise Advocate (Buddha): You do not want to masturbate and masturbation is not so good like your brain is trying to tell you. It might be appealing at this moment, but that is only because your true self is burred under all those thoughts and feelings that your addictive brain is producing. Do what you are preaching and try one of the Refocus Activity's Step 3: Refocus - Counting backwards from 100 do 1 in increments of 3 (100,97,94,91...) this worked a bit. I was able to stop this endless stream of thoughts at least for a moment and gain some perspective. I still had the erection, thoughts, and wanting to masturbate but it wasn't as powerful as it was only 2 minutes ago. Once I got up and rid myself of erection I have started Playing Brain Games - and this worked great like always. In less than 10 minutes all the thoughts and urges about masturbation were gone and I was ready to go on with my day. NOTE: One of the things you can do at step 2 is ask yourself: "Am I using one of the common thinking errors right now?" Here are the common thinking errors which we use in our lives: -All-or-Nothing Thinking -Catastrophizing -Discounting the Positive -Emotional Reasoning -Mind Reading -“Should” Statements -Faulty Comparisons -False Expectations I won't go into details because that is too much work. If you want to learn more about them read "You are not your brain". Of all those thinking errors, the most important one. One in which we all engage when we are having strong urges is "Emotional Reasoning". In short, making decision based solely on how we feel: "If I am feeling like this, something must be wrong and I have to masturbate." A quote from the book "You are not your brain". "The key is to notice whenever you are about to do something based solely on how you feel, rather than what’s in your best interest. If you find that you are dealing with a deceptive brain message and are about to act in an unhelpful way, immediately Relabel and Reframe those experiences and then Refocus on a healthy, constructive behavior."
