35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.


    NICEDUDE Fapstronaut

    Checking in.. still hanging in there..
  2. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Checking in. 2.5 days in.
    Rebooter13, discovery and artifact like this.
  3. @WilBil99 - Congrats on your 30 days yesterday. Hope all is well.
    GottaBFree and discovery like this.
  4. I have added a section at the bottom of the rules post (the first comment in this thread) called "Group veterans gone missing" in order to honor long-time active members who become inactive without explanation. This is not meant to imply that we have a large number of people disappearing, it's just a way of remembering group members whose whereabouts are unknown. Of course, lately there has been less activity in this group, which is understandable because most of us are preoccupied with the effects of the current crisis on your lives. Keep us posted on how you are doing. If we support each other we can get through this.
  5. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

    What a shame about Freeman. He was my de facto AP the first time around. He disappeared once and came back (as did I)- I suspect he'll be back again.

    Funny you say that, because for me it's been the opposite. I used to check in once, sometimes twice a day. Now I'm on all the time due to the new reality. Just a way to touch base with something that has been a constant before this all ever happened. I just read something about how in the UK the government's asked streaming services such as Netflix, Youtube, etc. to lower their streaming qualities to free up broadband because the demand's so high now for internet. In my profession, there are so many free virtual meetings now meant to build up professional development for when things get back to normal. This used to not even exist before. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'll definitely be around lol.
  6. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

    Hey folks!

    hope you are holding up ok!

    I’ve gradually transitioned to do most of my work from home. Work has been very stressful because it’s been simultaneously quieter and more demanding. I work in the legal field, which is going through a strange metamorphosis. Hopefully, it will come out leaner, more efficient, and more affordable.

    I find mentally the adjustments have been harder on me than I thought. I hate the feeling that I can only describe as “hurry up and sit down” - a state of constant vigilance in the midst of a slowdown.

    it’s a weird feeling and it comes hand in hand with apathy.

    Of course working from home has its challenges but I’ve been really enjoying spending more time with kids. They are such a source of joy and meaning.

    on the PMO front, I’m still looking to regain my footing after I lost my streak. My pep talks don’t work. I lost sight of why I’m doing this. I’m holding on as I feel I just need to go through this transition to rebuild a system of meaning.

    my post turned out a bit darker than expected, sorry gents!
    artifact, NICEDUDE, Wolf2019 and 2 others like this.
  7. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    You are doing great. I’m not surprised it takes work to get going again after such a long streak. With all the rewiring you got done the lies we tell ourselve are probably really convincing since the negative effects aren’t as bad and the enjoyment is probably still sky high.

    Glad to see you hanging in. It’s a good example.
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2020
    Timber and discovery like this.
  8. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    I read an article online that talked about what we are dealing with is grief and anticipatory grief. We are grieving the loss of many important aspects of our lives and personal connections. We understand instinctively that life is going to be forever different, there is no going back to EXACTLY the way things were before. Society will change as a result of this. And because it is an ongoing crisis that threatens more sacrifices, potential job loss and potential loss of life of people we know and care about, we feel anxiety which is a kind of protective mechanism, to grieve for losses that have not happened yet so that when they do happen they won't hit us as hard.

    All this is to say, it is ok to not make an immediate transition to full work productivity at home during a crisis. It is ok to feel despondent. It is ok to cocoon a little bit. It is ok to work through grief, even if it is grief for a lost lifestyle, not for a lost person.

    The article said a key way to deal with anticipatory grief is to focus on the present -- pay attention to what we do have today and the fact that the things we fear for ourselves have not happened yet and maybe never will.

    It is easier to go through these things knowing that we are not alone. Everyone is making similar adjustments. We understand.
  9. Rebooter13

    Rebooter13 Fapstronaut

    I need to wake up from the relapse loop i've been lately.
    artifact, Timber and GottaBFree like this.
  10. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

    Back to zero.
    Timber and GottaBFree like this.
  11. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear it. I’m sure that’s frustrating but posting again so fast is a great sign.

    Like @Wolf2019 was saying we all have some stress going on. It’s not a coincidence so many great streaks and small steaks have been falling lately. I’m with @artifact too... if we can support each other through this we should. I just don’t know how lol.

    @Rebooter13 Ive been stuck in the loop lately too.

    I think posting more is helping me. Maybe any new members are not done by waiting list but by an activity test. Some people don’t seem like to need to post as much; but the more active the group is the better it is for me; so it’s a selfish idea but I’m not ashamed of that. I just want to get better lol.

    —Edit— 4 days in an hour. I’ve been struggling lately so I’m way more proud of that than I should be lol.

    I used to hope that magically a new year would be the end of PMO. I’m not a believer I’ll acquire magic motivation, but I’m hoping for a great long streak in the new house. Also hoping financial stress will be a little better.

    Stay safe everyone and stay brave. We all may die, or go broke soon, but no need to do it fapping the whole way down lol.

    When I was a kid visiting the Grand Canyon the tour guides told us about people falling off the side. I decided to stop playing chicken on the edge and climbing around like an idiot. But I also decided if I did fall for some reason, I’d enjoy the ride while I could lol.

    It makes me feel better to realize I’m not in control of everything. There will be lots of change coming but it could be our finest moment. Out of this chaos will be opportunities for some. Let’s seize it where we can and encourage each other to enjoy the ride down where we can’t.
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2020
  12. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

    Lots of good and encouraging stuff here!

    @Wolf2019, very good points there... I need to mull them over a bit. I don’t want to give myself a licence to wank and need to figure out how to deal with grief differently.

    @GottaBFree i totally agree! It would be nice to get more activity going!

    @discovery, oh shit!

    so, we need to figure out how to deal with COVID without PMO. Stat!
    GottaBFree and discovery like this.
  13. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    Bad news. I reset last night.

    Worse news. I lost my job yesterday due to downsizing.

    It is ok. It is happening to millions of people so there is no reason I should get a pass just to cruise through a crisis without difficulty. We're living through history here. This is part of the story of how my family and I lived through this era. It is scary but it's going to be ok.

    So my job now is looking for a job. :)
    Rebooter13, Timber, artifact and 2 others like this.
  14. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

    So true. Yesterday was a perfect storm for me. In the morning, I accidentally came across something very triggering, similar to what happened a few days earlier. In the afternoon, I was in a virtual meeting that was hosted by a set of tour industry leaders. They gave us some bad news that I hadn't considered. Basically, once things start going back to normal again, the tour industry will still be screwed for some time afterwards. Even though people are going back to work, moving freely, economy up and running again, etc, people will still be hesitant to take tours. Many will not be in a financial situation yet where they will have disposable income after this, others will still be freaked out about the virus until a vaccine is developed, students may still need to make up curriculum before they can take trips, etc. So this will last longer for us then everyone else. It really bummed me out. Next thing I knew, I went back to that triggering thing I had come across. Was able to hold off for a while, but by 7pm it was game over and binged till about 11:30. Today was a lot better. Hiked 15 miles on the beach and the weather was beautiful. They announced this morning in my city that most parks and playgrounds would be closed, but the beach and large parks would stay open. The cv cases in my state have doubled in the last 4 days and I'm thinking it's just a matter of time until they shut down the beach and or lock down the state (which thankfully hasn't happened yet). Sorry for all the detail but had to get that off my chest.

    Even more reason to be proud. It's a greater accomplishment if its harder to achieve. Congrats man, I see you've reached the 4.

    So sorry to hear that Wolf. That really sucks. But, you should be rehired once things get back on track, right? Once business picks up again they're gonna need old deck hands back. I don't know if you're open to this, but I am. 7-11 announced they are hiring over 20,000 new people. If my state shuts down the beach, I just might apply. Not exactly what my university degree is for, but it's income, and a way to do something normal in these very abnormal times.

    In the past, I came across a number of videos on youtube promoting the benefits of waking up at 4am and starting your day then. I think the idea was floated somewhere here on NoFap. I tried it, and it was great, but life's schedule eventually got in the way. Now, for me and many others there is no schedule anymore, so I'm gonna try it again.
    Wolf2019, artifact and GottaBFree like this.
  15. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    @Timber and @discovery good stuff guys. Thanks for posting.

    Sorry to hear about the job @Wolf2019 That risk is in the back of my mind too. Might be a time for me to start getting a side gig going. I’m not too good for anything, just need to think of a good plan lol.
    Wolf2019, artifact and discovery like this.
  16. @CraigAB - We have not heard from you in a month. It is required that you check in with a comment on this thread at least once a month in order remain listed in the member ranking. Do you still want to be a member of the group?
  17. @AEC Josh2415 - You have been added to the member ranking per your request a few days ago. Welcome back to the group, I hope you don't disappear again. :cool:
  18. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    1 fap reset. Got to 5 days at least which is getting close to a real streak.

    Hoping to start a new streak without delay.
    artifact, WilBil99 and discovery like this.
  19. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    My place is going completely out of business, had been failing for a while but the virus situation was enough to push it over the edge. So I'll definitely be making a transition. I'm open to anything once I get desperate enough but want to avoid situations of face-to-face customer service if possible to avoid exposure to the germs and such. I've been thinking about Amazon warehouse, fulfilling orders, just to tide us over. Certainly a growing company.
    WilBil99 and discovery like this.
  20. emanuel_free

    emanuel_free Fapstronaut

    Hi there checking in.
    Don't loose hope!

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