I discovered that I was carrying around a lot of grief. And then I saw that I'd had a lot of shame and conflict about sex going all the way back, almost as far I can remember. It had everything to do with how I tried to separate all these things, including genuine, erotic exchange with my wife, preferring to keep that energy isolated, directed toward other people and porn. It is much clearer now.
Congratulations on surpassing 1/2 year. That is no small feat! But by this time, I imagine the idea of being able to go without PMO is easy to believe. You've gone passed the hardest part.
I like that idea of not stepping into a mental sexual fantasy out of a feeling of dignity and self awareness. I can imagine coming from that viewpoint the next time I am tempted to start into one.
Wow! I hope your german is getting better. Goggin's audio book has a few extras that you normally wouldn't find in other audio books...just to whet your appetite..he he. Enjoy your listening!
Okay! I will start with number 1 on your list once I finish the list of books that I have outlined to read in the next couple of weeks. Thanks and keep on sharing such info as always! I would advise you read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson if you have not read it before since you are always open to learning and critical thinking. As I continue to read it, it has somewhat changed my perspective on orgasm and ejaculation. It has simply blown my mind.
I go to this meditation center, and while I am not becoming a Buddhist, I like their psychology. Once, one of the priests said that on silent retreats, people are encouraged also not to make eye contact, as if looking into someone's eyes is an invasion of sorts. I get it. The same person said once that when you look at a woman across the room with lust and/or fantasy, you are taking something that is not being offered. I have thought a lot about that....
9 days in! For the past 3 months or so, I have noticed that hardcore porn does not appeal to me anymore as it used to. Even in the times I have relapsed, when I turn to hardcore videos, my whole disposition is that of disgust. Also, I used to watch CGI/3D porn videos. These days I can't bare the sight of them. They make me feel sick literally. I don't know why. Right now, my main issue is with images of sexy women either real or in media. My last relapse happened because when I went for shopping at a supermarket, I caught sight of this sexy lady and her image was tattooed on my mind for the rest of the day. No matter what I did, her image just came flashing back and I MO'ed later that night. Does this mean that my brain is rewiring to normal or something? Has anyone here experienced something similar?
Today is second day of this challenge. After found passion in my life yesterday, today I was in harmony with other perople, colleagues, friends, I did some jokes. This is the second motivation for I want to continue this challenge, harmony with others
I'm on 32/60. Keep going and DO NOT GIVE UP everybody. Tomorrow is weekend, I'm so excited about spending amount of time leaning new skills, which play the guitar and study English.