First of all, all good, i have not relapse... ok then, here is what happened last night, one of my high school mate comes from his country to visit us, and we had dinner. after that, we( by this i mean they) decided to go to the massage place(special massage). i said hop, i don't have money. they replied, don't worry about it, i will pay for you( what a dick...oh i hated this guy so much at that moment), ok, then i said I'm tired and have work tomorrow, they said, hey man listen, we are together and having a party, don't be a dick and pretend that you a the guy, you want to go, lets go man, don't kill the moment!(i swear i wasn't gonna kill the moment, i was gonna kill him rather...) well, anyway, after long long long time, they said ok dude, lets just get into the car and drive around, i said you know what, ok!. and they drove straight to the massage place, after another long long long long discussion, i was left in the car chillin and listening to the music, while those guys were... you know... getting massaged, for an hour... i felt bored of course, BUT i rather feel bored. one thing that surprise me last night was i did not want to go there at all! maybe because i was so tired because of work? maybe i felt i don't want to waste my money on that? maybe its my flatline, who cares, i feel like I'm the shit! i did not go, and stayed in the car! i won!!! so yeah, flatline is not so bad for me, rather, i would feel like i wish this flatline can be a bit longer(BUT i want physically recover, nobody wants to have a dead dick for longer right? LOL) MAN that feels great, i don't know if i recover from addiction, but i surely saying no to the habit, " i aint gonna judge you, you do you bruh, and have fun, and Hell to the NO i aint gonna do it LOL" word to word of what i said last night! that was good. keep fighting bros, you will surprise yourself LOL
Day 16 of 90 Finally got approved to do the Recovery nation program. So I will get started on that. Doing good in my recovery, yesterday I had some thoughts about what I used to do, but I pushed them out of my thoughts. Do not need to relapse. Stay strong, day by day getting better. *70 days free
Day 31/90. Over 30 days. Lots of positive changes in life. Will post to success stories as soon as I have more time from the busy exciting life I finally started to live