Day 13/90. Kept myself busy today, and had almost zero urges. Gotta keep moving, I guess. encouraging to see everyone’s progress! Let’s go!
Day 0 No M Day 251 No P So I promised no edging ... reset today. I am looking at my calendar for PMO resets and after the initial 90 days I achieved I have been resetting every couple days to 10 days. I see this as a pattern of getting a little sloppy after getting the 90 days. I think I justify it as taking a break from the hard push initially and also am thinking to myself how much of this is ok and healthy. So no actual porn involved, having sex from time to time and getting horny often. To be honest this is what I wanted before I started here and when I still had ED. I wanted to feel normal again, to be able to have nice pleasurable sex with girls and to actually feel aroused and horny about actual women. And I achieved that. Now I need to maintain it and I am a little confused on how much I need to restrict myself to maintain this healthy state. Porn is out of the picture, nothing there is healthy - but masturbation from time to time on thoughts about actual girls/girlfriends? What are your thoughts guys? Do you intend to stay monk mode all your life after achieving your goals? A little Dwayne Johnson for a change today! - Keep going!
Later in the day I had a school orientation where I met a lot of new people. It was interesting because so many of the program are women. I’m posting this right now to remind myself of what I truly want, long-lasting healthy friendships with classmates, and an eternal loving relationship with my wife.
Hey buddy, just a quick thought on this. I DO think that a person with a perfectly healthy relationship to sex can practice masturbation and be ok. However, I would strongly advise you to be careful about FANTASY while masturbating. Remember, your brain doesn't really experience any practical difference between masturbating to porn and masturbating to fantasy. The only difference is the source of the images you're fapping to. If we've already built the wiring of porn addiction, it never truly goes away. We can build better and stronger wiring towards real sex, in which case the porn addiction recedes into the background. Even in the background it still exists and could be reawakened rather quickly if we tried (like riding a bike, for example). So again, since masturbating to fantasy is SO similar to masturbating to porn, I would be very cautious of rekindling those porn circuits. Somebody once said to me that even when you're fantasizing about a real girl, the image in your head is never quite real. It's too easy for your brain to edit her, make her a little more sexy...you're in complete control of the fantasy so you'll conjure whatever you really want to see. It may look/feel similar to reality, but it's not. It's still connecting your sexual experience to something outside the realm of reality and squarely in the realm of fantasy. I think once you reach a certain point, masturbating without mental fantasy is probably ok if you really need to relieve sexual tension. Those are my thoughts! hope it's helpful!
Allright!! Victory is ours indeed! With you on our side man! You got this. I want to see you win this thing! I‘m with you. With Gods Grace you are strong. Go get em!!!!!