A HARDCORE BINGE

last evening i had a pretty hard binge session of porn and masturbation. I was installing a porn blocker in the first place and so as to check it i ended up searching for porn by first enabling it and then convincing myself to switch it off and try once again(was a pretty stupid decision I know.)

I ended up binging for the entire evening and wasted like 4 hours in the process. 4 hours of my precious time got wasted in thinking and chasing the best high that i could ever get.

i thought all about it in bed last night. about my ugly breakup, about my bad relationships about how i run away from relations now, how i feel so lonely by myself with none to open up to.

I feel like a burden to everyone around myself. it's as if i need someone whom i can confide in and at same time I'm afraid I'll end up hurting him/her just the same way i've hurt everyone till now, by not being competent enough not being a good son,a good student a good boyfriend not one relation could keep healthy. i sometimes feel like people would be happier had i not been there.