A struggle a loss a win a relapse

Okay well to start iv relapsed hard with porn addiction and masturbation consuming my time and money ie cam sites I thought I beat this went to counseling and got better but complacent and well fell off
It ruined a marriage cost me my family and now with my new partner the sneaking and spending and hiding is back and iv been caught.. oh thank god I was caught .she questioned me and I was honest about everything but the disappointment of not coming to her sooner it hurt to have failed but need to get back on and win again .. iv done this before and now I guess I will have to learn from my mistakes .. but where iv moved to there is no support and I cant effort 200hr counseling anymore with this no work stuff going on .. so I guess I'm reaching out on a prayer that I ca find someone to be strong again with a buddy or sponsor or anyone to just be honest with that understands this battle I'm about to embark on again ... the loneliness is the hardest my spouse she is stuck on the other side of the world which she kept me honest but I find too many empty hours and urges . Ones I have given into becuase I just wanted to feel anything other then alone ...