Accountability for All

Checking in on day 4. Had some urges yesterday, but I could withstand them. I met up with my GF we kissed, and although I could withstand it yesterday, it was very difficult to not think about sex and getting hard this morning. I succeeded!

 

Checking in - I almost relapsed yesterday, a few times. First, I had a wet dream and I'm needy and have sexual dreams nearly every day, and then I was at home waiting for my laptop's updating process to finish, and then I explored a new app on my phone. It was a slippery slope because I could access social media through it, but I regained the presence of mind and deleted the app.

After a few hours, I almost relapsed again because I was working from home with easy access to the internet, I was playing with fire. And then I just stopped taking that unnecessary risk and went to a shopping mall to finish my stuff. I succeeded, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

 

Yes! Success! Good for you @higor pereira araujo! I thought of an image I found recently. Maybe it helps

 

first day here historically I don't have a good record with PMO and I don't have faith in my self but I desperately need to prove it to my self that I can do this and built on from here

 

Are there things you want to accomplish? What is porn standing in the way of? If you make specific why you want to quit it, you might actually succeed.

Whether you have a history or not doesn't matter. If you are 100% set to beat this addiction, you will find ways to do it. And you will find ways to overcome the tough times, because they are coming.

 

I masturbated. Resetting my counter to back to zero.

 

I believe in you Chubby. You will overcome

 

Thanks a lot, man. That image is incredible. I`ve been working out for a few minutes every day for more than a year and it truly made a difference.

 

Checking in - Yesterday was terrible. I was super weak and fatigued, which fucked me because my job is very physical. My anxiety was tremendous and thought about getting fired, again, and becoming homeless because I feel like I can`t hold on to a job. My mind tortured me, it was a nightmare. And make matters worse, I was sick, really sick, and couldn`t sleep well. But I fucking survived, and I`ll do the same today.

 

Checkin'!

 

You fucking survived. Lost jobs before, so I know how it feels. I know you can do it

 

Posted in a different thread today, but decided to post here as well.

Day 5! I had a few urges yesterday, but not very strongly. Picked up running again and I felt I could run further than ever before. I was more mentally focussed.

My GF sent me a post of a woman on this forum who has shared her experiences of having a husband who is addicted to porn. She described her deepest hopes and wish that he will conquer this porn addiction, but actually becoming an empty shell in which she spirals into a deep depression. This was a true eye opener and I feel deep inside me that I need to do everything what I can to not become like this.

Yesterday, I also installed a site blocker on my laptop and my GF and I included everything that was potentially triggering.

Most important: I succeeded once again.

 

I appreciate the support!

 

Blok supreme pro is the best blocker ever, man. And, I read some books about this addiction, sometimes a porn-addicted partner gets more impacted emotionally than the addicted, they can get really sick.

 

Day 6 is here. Just woke up and I succeeded another day. Had strong urges this morning, but knew to resist them. But had absolutely NO urges yesterday and even felt sick thinking about porn.

I have an appointment with the doctor today to help me with my porn addiction. This will be an intense ride, but I'm all in. I've had therapy before regarding my ADHD, and it's really great to have someone who helps you through it. I'm lucky to have my GF who helps me through it, but otherwise I don't think I couldn't have done it as decisively as I'm doing it now.

I realized that this disease called porn addiction goes so much deeper than you think. It's in the micro thoughts, the split seconds where a thought about porn enters your mind. It really rots your brain away to the point that you get really depressed.

Haven't been running yesterday, but this is on my planning for today.

Yet again: I succeeded!

 

I've bought Blocksite. We've blocked everything from categories to individual websites and even specific words in the URL.

And about books, I'm buying Your Brain On Porn today. I've read about it a lot on this forum. Should be a good read.

 

Where are my fellow fapstronauts? Are there more daily check-ins?

Tell me about how your day went, how you struggled and how you succeeded today.

 

That book is great indeed. Wack Addicted to Internet Porn is also a great read.

 

Checking in - yesterday was hard as fuck. My body was weak, tired, and heavy. I wasn't productive, I was slow and I slept in the afternoon, which is something I only do if I'm truly fucked up. And then I went to the library to work on a little project of mine, and then my devasted self-confidence and self-esteem kicked in: "You're not cut out for this shit", "You're a loser", "You will become homeless". And so my addicted mind tortured me a lot. I went home, got super depressed and desperate, did some stuff, and then cried myself to sleep.

 

What is stuff?

I wish I could've gone through it when I was your age. You are changing your job, you're having your projects and I see you succeeding.

I read your earlier posts and remembered you felt great some weeks ago. So I know it will pass. I also remember you have support from your therapist and perhaps also from your friends. In these times, you need someone supportive to talk to.

I really hope you will have moments today that you enjoy your projects. And that you see that life is good. I hope you will also enjoy the prospect of having the life that you choose to have. You're working to have your own Digital Marketing business, you're working to have healthy relationships and you're conquering your porn addiction. Dude, that's quite something.

Maybe this helps, but you have succeeded where others have given up.