Accountability for All

Day 22 is only 40 minutes away. Don't worry I'm not pulling all nighters for this. I just happen to awaken near dawn for prayer before sleeping again.

 

Don’t worry, I'm not about to underestimate the urges. I've been trying for 8 years now and this is one of the few runs that reached 3 weeks. In fact, this time they are especially vivid. My brain is trying really hard to make me slip right now, and I'm fighting with all I can. That flatline can't hot quick enough man.

 

Day 65

Had a workday yesterday and was busy with all sorts of things. Was speaking things through with my GF and went to bed far too late.

Work-out:
Did my work out in the afternoon. Took a long walk in the evening.

Netflix:
Watched 30 minutes of Fubar on Netflix. It was okay.

Meditation:
Managed to get 30 minutes of meditation in. 3 sessions

Your Brain On Porn/Study:
Read a lot in Dopamine Nation and a lot on NoFap. The writer in Dopamine Nation spoke of a trial they did on rats where they injected them with cocaine after they performed desirable behavior. On this coke high, the rats started to run around in their cages. 1 year later, that’s an eternity in a rat life, they still performed the same behavior after not having that high for a whole year. The brain was forever changed. When we are overcoming our addiction, know that it has changed your brain. It needs to change back

Sleep:
Slept late and feel tired, but I'll be okay.

 

Ok, I'll need a better plan. 21 days is the cutoff for this attempt. Unfortunately, I'm back at day 0. The urges were obscenely strong this time, and I didn't provide enough prep to overcome it. This attempt I will focus more on building habits to replace my dopamine supply to counteract such an event.

 

Thanks a lot for the support, you`re really kind and compassionate.

 

Day 8 - Done. I was very productive and disciplined, but I was super uncomfortable about the tasks I had on my side hustle.

 

Day 5 completed.

 

Thank you.

 

Yes, a solid routine is most important. This is the only way to confidently work the PMO out of your life.

 

Resist the chaser effect that will follow. And yes you sometimes need to counteract PMO urges, but a solid routine (as said in my previous post) will not give you the room to go as deep.

 

Resetting my counter back to zero after 6 days.

 

Day 66

Had a day full of activities. Met my GF and we had sex, but we didn’t O. Great to experience the intimacy without a forcefulness. Before my reboot, O was the goal and sex was the (quick) means to get there.

Work-out:
Didn’t do the workout. I also didn’t take a walk. Was busy all day and brought my GF home late.

Netflix:
No time to Netflix! Didn’t miss it.

Meditation:
Met my GF and had only time to fit 10 minutes in.

Your Brain On Porn/Study:
Spoke a lot about what I've read with my GF. Walking on the street when it’s hot and sunny, used to be a trigger. Now it’s not anymore, but the sensitized pathways are still there. I feel the surge of Dopamine in my body from looking around on the street, but this is not a trigger anymore. I feel it has become the fear of being triggered. The fear of looking at someone and getting a fantasy.

Sleep:
Slept late again as I brought back the GF late. Wasn’t able to properly do my routine.

 

Can you share us your struggle? What made you relapse?

 

Checking in - I relapsed.
I was depressed as hell, because of how fucked up my social and dating life are, because just one or two areas of my life are developed and the others are almost nonexistent. And also, to change that would take a lot of courage, money, and hard work.

The others reason I relapsed was:

• I procrastinated;
  
• I didn`t work on my side hustle;
• I didn`t exercise;
• I didn`t go to bed at the right time;
  
• I kept watching movies until 2 pm instead of dealing with my pent-up emotions.

 

A routine is one of the most important thing you have.

 

Day 50

 

Boom! Congrats man

 

I made just 2 days, and then 2 more days so yesterday I reset to 0 again. Day 1 is complete.

It's encouraging ti read your posts, both successes and relapses. A lot of strength in here, I can feel it! Well done, all of you.

Yesterday spent all day by myself, Youtube and Netflix was my only company. Wanted to spend more time with myself, reading, writing, praying. But escaped into the digital world.

Today I've been more busy with church, family and other stuff. It's easier to resist when busy.

Will think more of how to deal with my urges before they come, so I manage to get through them. If you want to share your best tip, it's welcome. And I'll keep reading in here

Thanks! And good job!

 

The best tip I have to prevent urges is to be busy with other things. But it really starts with all the basic stuff, eating healthy, no caffeine, no alcohol, going to bed on time, meditation/ praying.

 

Day 57. Brothers, this is me putting my hands up and admitting that I am missing the little ritual of my daily check in!