Advice from a married guy

Sorry man but I call bullshit. Yeah you will enjoy a month (or two max.) being free and having all the time in the world for yourself. But you will soon be satisfied then boom you're alone and bitter and miserable. No one is here for you or at least to hug you, empty cold nights. Then you'll think fuck that fishing and xbox.

 

this last line is the key. people have to get themselves right first before they can expect to have a good relationship with someone else.

 

Not really. That philosophy of " be a good boy and work hard then you'll meet a girl" is flawed thinking. Women get with dirtbags all the time who don't have their life together.

 

Women may be with dirtbags, but who's to say that the relationship isn't working, or the woman herself is a dirtbag as well?

Working on yourself isn't about going out to find someone, it's more about making sure you're in a good standing before going in. Otherwise, getting into a relationship as-is is just going to make things way more complicated or difficult.

 

exactly. has nothing to do with who gets with who.

 

The 'women get with dirtbags all the time ' is irrelevant to me. Because I don't want to be with those type of women!
Work on yourself. Serve others. Prepare for a quality girl that comes your way.

 

You're not lying. When I pmo a lot, I become desperate, needy, thirsty and jealous of seeing couples together. As soon as I built a good nofap streak, I felt good about myself and could careless about relationships. And that's when women throwing flirting signs in my regard. Women could smell desperation and neediness miles away.....

 

Women may get themselves with so called "dirtbags." But they are confident and enjoy life. Those dudes tend to be genetically gifted. And there are other men who need to work on themselves to attract a potential mate.

 

People angry and calling BS on this just shows why they're probably alone. I've been single for a long time. I'm also 50. I'm in better shape than 3 years ago since I quit drinking and discovered SR and Nofap. Job with benefits and you said it, freedom. Yes it gets a little groundhogs day but I do what and when I want. I work with women and I sometimes feel sorry for their husbands. I get enough interaction with women and then get to go home to a nice quiet house. When I was neck deep in alcohol and fapping daily to P I was desperate if not depressed. I would have settled for any women. I wouldn't shun a good women but if one isn't going to add to my life I'm not inviting drama either. I think some guys need to hear it from the other side. I'll hear anyone with true experience out anytime.

 

Why do you feel sorry for some of their husbands? Help me understand, here.

 

Yeah, I knew this. It's true. Relationships are not the answer. Relationships must be done correctly, otherwise it can be one terrible decision.

 

Pffttt... yeah. Hope that waiting part works for you. I have worked a decade in my life. Worked some cut throat work environment, am close to financial freedom, yet, I can't find the right woman. It's not as simple as you think.

 

Why can't you do these things? The only thing being married prevents me from doing is having sex with other women. Sometimes I miss that, but we all make compromises in any relationship.

 

Having been in a relationship and now being single I find there are positives and negatives with both. When you're in a relationship you have intimacy and close companionship but you don't have as much freedom. Being single means I can do pretty much whatever I want without a woman getting upset with me for not spending time with her. I guess it's a case of picking your own poison.

 

Regardless if you're married or single, if you are self-centered your life -while it might have pleasure - will be joyless.

 

When I was early 20's, I used to go to the theater by myself. Some cashiers would ask me about my girlfriend. At first it didn't bother me. But each time I went, it was always the same question. Due to that I have stopped going to cinemas.
During those times I felt free and only spent on myself.
I played video games with some teenagers I met there. Theater was in a mall so I went to eat whenever I want, played video games. Tbh I kinda missed those times. Also I was fapping heavily and thought pmo was not so bad. I was pretty much living a hedonistic lifestyle.

 

Yeah, lived the hedonic lifestyle and still do. You do get burned out after months/years and can't feel the same pleasure anymore. Not the best long term strategy, that's all I'm gonna say. If you don't work towards building better relationships with women and men it gets even harder and harder and you start becoming an even bigger loner.

 

Simple does not mean easy
But dude, I feel you. I can't seem to find them either. It can really get me bitter seeing friends getting married off, or people chasing tail and getting what they want. But I'm not saying we should sit around and wait though. I'm saying be proactive in becoming better men, regardless of whether we see we have "options" around us or not. Now I'm basically saying screw it. I'm not going to chase fantasies on dating apps etc anymore. Gonna commit to a MMA gym. Be diligent with work. Read more books. Not put my worth in whether I am in a relationship. It does suck tho. Not gonna lie.