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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by mihmihero, Apr 26, 2019.
Good thing you're finding solutions man! Stay strong! Peace.
Let's review the facts.
Loves your attention, and how you help her
Cuddles with you, in a definitely more-than-friends manner
Starts making out, stops "cuz God"
Cuts you off afterwards, except when she needs more stuff from you
Once you try giving her the cold shoulder, she starts acting nice again
This jerk is using you through and through. You are 100% friendzoned to her, and she panicked when she realized you were starting to catch on. Drop her like a bad habit. As someone who is also religious, I'd say there's a 90% chance she's just using her religion as a fig leaf excuse. Maybe she wasn't "religious" when she was banging other guys, but based on the fact that she's BEEN USING YOU this whole time, I think she just wants to keep using you, without any payout for you. Drop her.
You say that she had "psychological problems".This is not a good sign. You should try to find someone who you can have a healthy relationship. This definitely doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You should treat her as you would any roommate with respect, but do NOT get involved with her.
As a very religious person I have to say this is rather strange behaviour. People abstaining from sex before marriage are dating, kissing and hugging. What she did was imho insincere, maybe there was some other motif to it.
Is she religious in her daily life?
I mean..she goes to church every week or every other week. I don't know if that makes her very religious. Throughout the day though she does a lot of questionable things. She'll talk to people behind their back, she pretends to like her best friend but hates her in reality, drinks occasionally, she brags about her new clothes constantly to her best friend to make her jealous(she admitted that to me herself). Plus there's the fact that shes been using me to give her male attention without wanting to give anything in return. Maybe I was a bit too infatuated with her to see that. Now I don't mean to be disrespectful to religious people but doesnt religion frown upon selfishness, dishonesty and greed? I think I at least deserved an explanation of her feelings if they were sincere. Other people in the thread said shes using her religion as an excuse and I 100% agree with them. Do you think this is the case?
Honestly I think Dr. Mario hit the nail on the head completely, she's using you for attention and favors. Like she treats you could but still asks for rides and shopping, then she goes back to bring cold.
You mentioning that she would go as far to ask you to help with her bra told me that's likely the case. Like she's keeping you enticed and stringing you along since she knows you like her. Like she won't date you but she's happy to use you.
Honestly I say ignore her as best you can given she's a housemate and find a woman worth your time. There's plenty of awesome women out there who would want you and give proper respect to your time and attention.
Good luck with your NoFap journey taking care of that before getting into relationship can be such a great starting point.
I'm going to assume all this is some flavor of Christianity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. No, what makes you a Christian is your commitment to Christ. She clearly has no such thing in her daily life. You can't say you're following Christ just because you try to get in good with heaven once a week, then spend the other six days living like hell. Christ definitely condemns selfishness, dishonesty, and greed. He said that the second greatest commandment is to love others like you love yourself. Looks like the only person this girl loves like herself...is herself.
In my opinion she just has unresolved mental health issues, you mentioned that before. I don't think she is ready for a relationship now.
Sex is one of the most powerful emotions!! It comprises of two✌️ dimensions - the physical (the feeling via sensors on your organs) and the Spiritual (this explains why you can be physically having sex with someone say your wife or girl friend yet spiritually having sex with your crush or that favorite porn star).
Therefore when you have sex you make a connection that has great physical and spiritual implications. On the physical sense you may attract STIs that were attained from previous relationships. On the spiritual sense you may connect with all the partners he/she has had sex with. And trust me people carry with them heavy burden.
So be careful when deciding to engage in sex. Be sure the person you intend to have sex with will be your wife/husband and both of you have cut connections with everyone you had sex with either physically or mentally(via porn).
You and this woman are playing mind games and that has to stop!✋. You must understand that she could be battling⚔️ with the spirits she got from her previous relationship. And she felt you could be the one to assist her. And by her saying no to you is in a way saving you from the burden that you won't be able to carry.
Tell her to take the burden to christ✝️. Because he is able to carry it. And maybe you could have a long lasting relationship with her.