Am I straight, bi or gay?

I found a bi couple on the internet today and we will met us in the next week. The thought of bi sex turns me on. The thought of sex with men turns men i masturbated to gay stuff and come. I masturbated really often on this day 5 times i think.
If i saw a good looking guy on the street imagined me to had sex with him but it was not so arousing like with a girl. Then this anxiety comes again and i check myself again. I didnt get aroused to men but to women. I dont understand it. why sometimes i get aroused and why sometimes not. The thought to have bi sex with the couple turns me on but.i dont know if this is what i really want. I am out of my mind

 

Maybe it is the dopamine rush. That would explain why sometimes i got aroused and why sth not to gay stuff. But even if i tell me that i am bi there is sth that i doesnt like about it. It feels not so right. If i tell to me i am straight then i compare me with my straight friends and i think my friends would never do the things that i do. I just dont know who i am anymore.

 

I really need help guys. The last days i was constantly checking myself and i got constantly an erection toward gay stuff like pictures, porns or fantasize about sex with men. I cant believe anymore that i am straight. A straight guy would never live this shit that i am living. I am afraid that i will lose my friends. I just want my old life back, i want to be that guy that i was before that shit started one year ago. I never had a crush on a guy or sth, only to girls and now from now on i should be gay? I dont understand it, but my erections say sth different. I dont know who i am anymore

 

I just want to know whats happening here. I was 19 when this started and one year after constantly checking i dont even know if i am gay or not. Thats not normal. Maybe i just cant accept it and that means i am really gay. But why now and not earlier, there was never a boy in my life where i thought i want sth from him because he s hot. But there was a tons of girls where i think that. Maybe the erections come from my porn addiction or sth else. I dont really know

 

I watched yesterday some gay porns and straight porns. The straight porns aroused me and the gay porns not. I dont know what to do. I cant stop with that checking

 

But i also read that people with hocd doesnt care about what others think about if they were gay. They only have the fear being gay. I also fear that what others think and thats what gay people do instead of people with hocd. Can a people with hocd fear what others think about if they find out that the person has this crisis, or is this just a symptom of people they are gay in denial?

 

Thank you very much, i will try it.

 

This was a horrible week. I had sex with a prostitute to see if i like sex with women. I really enjoy the sex, but the thought in my head, that i could possibly bi is always there. I write to a gay guy and we want to meet us. I visit him in his flat. The thought about to have sex with him aroused me. I dont want to do it but i say to myself fuck it, now do it then you have your answer if you are gay or not. In the moment he opens the door a terrible feeling comes up to my body. I felt so uncomfortable and disgusted. Even more when i saw him that he get naked on the bed. I say to myself no this not what i want. It just disgusted me. I just told him that i must to go and go so fast then i could. I just want to be away from there. The fantasy aroused me thats true, i dont know why ( maybe because of years of cuckold, gay humiliation, forced bi porns ), but in the moment where i can have sex in reality with a man instead of fantasy, i was so uncomfortable and disgusted. This things i never felt, when i was with a girl.

 

I cum to gay porn, i got aroused to fantasys about gay stuff, i eat my own cum 2-3 times. That sounds gay but at the moment the guy opens the door such a terrifiying feeling comes up. It was not fear it was something else. I feel uncomfortable and disgusted. It was like i forced myself to be one that i am not. That was not my world. I Checked me so often after this experience to pictures of hot celebrities and imagine me to have sex with a girl and then with a boy. At the girls i got always hard and enjoy it. At the men the complete opposite. I dont surpress or something it just doesnt aroused me. But the anxiety is always there i dont know

 

90% of the porn i watch is about humiliation