Am I trans? Sissy hypno ruined me

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Kayden91, Jun 2, 2021.

  1. Kayden91

    Kayden91 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I'm a 29 year old gay male who's been watching sissy hypnos for several years. These are the type that usually have subliminal messages inciting the viewers to be extra feminine and slutty etc.

    So, I've always identified myself as a gay male since I was 13, and though I like men, i never saw myself as a woman or less than a man.
    That slowly has changed from what I believe is due to the sissy hypno videos.
    I've been feminizing myself by getting my bellybutton pierced (something I found was in one of the subliminal messages in the videos) got feminine tattoos and now am considering whether to start hormone therapy.

    Lately, i feel so ashamed of myself and more confused about whether I'm trans or not. I can't see myself in the role of a man and most guys i try to date find me too feminine (gay guys tend to like masculine guys, so yeah).

    I have stopped watching porn but this feeling keeps haunting me and I've never been so close to giving in.

    20210512_221503.jpg

    Lastly, as you can see in the picture above(trigger warning), I've got my bellybutton pierced which I could always take the piercing out leaving a small scar, but at least I can hide it.
    The tattoo however is something permanent and feminine? I mean to me it looks normal now(which might be due to the brainwashing) but i know it's not a common tattoo on guys and it usually attracts questions.

    What should I do?
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2021
  2. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    It seems to me that if you always felt comfortable as a male who was attracted to men for 29 years then there is something fishy about contemplating transgender. If you were a young teenage experiencing hormonal changes then maybe, but 29 years old is too far along in life to suddenly want to do that.

    I would be very suspicious of the subliminal messages. You could probably talk to a psychotherapist and possibly undergo hypnosis to remove those subliminal messages.

    I'm an ordinary heterosexual middle-aged male, so I don't have a lot of knowledge on these topics, but I think you are probably meant to be a gay male. Those videos confused you, and you need to correct them.

    I wouldn't worry about the tattoo. Probably if you explain it to people then they won't care. People might just think you are so comfortable with your masculinity that you aren't afraid to get any tattoo you feel like getting.
     
  3. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

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    agreeing with @learning
    please recover from porn addiction before considering taking hormones
     
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  4. Rents77

    Rents77 Fapstronaut

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    Jesus, I never knew gay people could be so judgemental! I figured, hey, anything goes if you are one.

    Your body looks great, so just be confident about it. What's most important is that you to completely hold off porn for a long period of time. You've watched sissy videos for years, so its effect will need to wear off.

    I reckon that if you abstain from sissy videos for 6+ months, you would know much more clearly if you want to be a regular gay guy or the next Kim Petras.
     
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  5. Kayden91

    Kayden91 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the replies guys and yeah I'm holding off porn for now.
    It's hard, especially at night and given i have a bit of a strong online presence, but I'm hoping things improve.
     
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  6. BlueBallsOG

    BlueBallsOG Fapstronaut

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    Sissy hypnosis is a person, maybe you could use alfa male/masculine affirmations on YT there are enough? Or hypnosis videos on YT
     
  7. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    I never got into the sissy hypno stuff particularly, but I've dabbled in erotic hypnosis. One of the main features of these files (which even the supporters of them admit exists) is that they develop a 'second person' within you that responds positively to the triggers, commands etc. This is where the thrill comes in, but is also a deeply damaging and destructive effect that at best disrupts ones self-image and at worst triggers complete ego death. I was hooked on 'second life' for years which similarly effected the vision of myself as I was playing a virtual avatar that was ultimately not the real me. It's taken about a year, but I can say for certain that that 'other me' which was hiding inside of me and nurtured by near constant porn abuse is disappearing (my avatar was a woman and up until recently I also had episodes of anxiety related to questions over being trans). It can be scary being alone with only yourself for company, but its also very liberating.

    I would say: Kick the hypno, work hard on quitting porn and take every day as it comes. It seems like you already know what you need to do and that its a worthwhile exercise to remove the porn habits before committing to anything else. I would also suggest a therapist as well - really helped me get my muddled thoughts in order. They're unlikely to 'confirm' whether you're trans or not (to be honest they would be a pretty crap therapist if they did as ultimately its your decision), but they will hopefully give you tools to deal with that feeling of confusion and fear that is associated with your issue. Lastly I would just add that 'acceptance' doesn't necessarily mean 'accepting your fate'. You can accept feelings as feelings without diving head first into a new lifestyle. You may feel unsure about whether or not you're truly trans, but for now at least you have feelings that suggest you like the idea of identifying as a woman, accept them and move on. Denying them or fighting them is only going to make them stronger, so noticing them (without necessarily acting on them) is a very healthy pursuit.
     
  8. if you feel very bad and confused, speak to a professional
    you should just separate the whole idea of having sex from your mind, then you'll see what's good for you
     
  9. Dr.J_76ers

    Dr.J_76ers Fapstronaut

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    I'm a straight male who got into sissy hypno and I experienced some of those "am I trans' thoughts, but the longer I kept away from the porn, the thoughts spiked up, but then gradually went away. I've been doing NoFap since January, and I've relapsed to sissy porn multiple times, but since the volume of sissy porn I watch is decreased, the "sissy" thoughts have been decreased. I believe that if I can get to a 90+ day streak, then I will be 95% healed. Right now I'm like 60-70% though.
     
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  10. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Check out my story

    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...-ending-trust-me-read-the-whole-thing.294820/
     
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  11. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Well I'm straight and managed to go down the feminine path when watching similar porn. Can't relate to it now thanks to a good time not watching anything like it. So I can recommend from experience a break may really help you understand your real preferences.

    If your online presence is not your income, I also recommend taking a break there too. It can be a bit of an echo chamber depending on our interests. You may have great friends there, but if they have similar views to what you're trying to abstain from, then it can be a similar challenge to porn.
     
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  12. Not sure why you had to post a naked picture.

    Don't think there is such a thing is trans. It's acting. Man is a man and a woman is a woman. Doesn't mean fantasy is not possible but I think it's time to get real.
     
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  13. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    To the OP I say, you need some distance from the sissy/porn/all that stuff for a few months before you see significant change, but you can do it. When you've done about three months of solid recovery, you can reassess. Maybe you are trans, maybe you're a fem-expressing gay guy, maybe not. Whatever it is, once you have rebooted you can proceed with a clear confidence of knowing what you want.

    No, they've found a couple rare conditions that lead to gender dysphoria. It's as real as bipolar disorder or adhd. I think it's trendy right now, but not fabricated.
     
  14. Maybe, but it's not on the scale as you might think it when consuming the media. We talking about rare diseases. Here every 5th guy is questioning his gender, lol
     
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  15. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    Granted, but I don't want to derail from the original question. @Kayden91 wants to know if he's trans. Objectively speaking it's possible, since trans is a real thing. HOWEVER, he only got these feelings after an escalated porn addiction in which he messed with hypnosis. If he had any of the conditions geneticists suspect are responsible for gender dysphoria, it would have manifested way sooner.

    It's almost like asking if you are a burned person because you play with fire. Well, technically I guess you're burned right now, so yes. But you don't have to be a burned person if you don't want to be. Then you're like, "But I stopped playing with fire for a whole 20 minutes and I'm still burned!?! Maybe I'll always be this way! Maybe I need to keep playing with fire because that's who I am!!1101?!" No. It takes more than a week to heal from a burn, and it takes more than a month to heal from sissy hypnosis. You're going to have those thoughts for a while, even after you quit porn, because that stuff digs in deep. Maybe it will even leave a scar. But it's not part of you.
    There's people who will shame you because you don't want to be trans. Kindly tell them to stfu. You can be a kind and loving person to trans people even if you don't want to be trans yourself, just like you can love your mom without wanting to give birth to yourself. If you do want to be trans, go ahead. That's a choice you can make these days, but I really don't think that's what you want. I never got involved with sissy stuff, but from what I'm seeing from other guys around here it's an extremely psychologically distressing lifestyle and not the kind of thing you want to indulge in. It feels good in the short term but over time it jacks you up and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
     
  16. Dr.J_76ers

    Dr.J_76ers Fapstronaut

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    I'm going to extend this analogy. The more burned you are, the longer it will heal. So its probably never a good idea to say "lemme resume NoFap in a little while, I can continue watching porn until I'm at a better place in life."
     
  17. kwambo

    kwambo New Fapstronaut

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    Wrong website to ask tbh. You are gay as you say and thus can be attracted to being with other men. You can be with other men feeling as a man or feeling as a woman. It's up to you to decide what gives you happiness.

    Watching sissy porn isn't going to make you a sissy it's just either a kink or opening a door you knew had to be opened one day. A lot of men are watching sissy porn because they watched too much porn or so they think but realize that men think with their dicks. You will be surprised how many men actually jerkoff to transwoman porn. It's the same for women who like to fantasize about being taken in certain ways which can never happen.

    So being and acting like a sissy isn't going to hurt you unless deep down you know and feel uncomfortable doing the things you've done. And judging by what you have done you just feel or have a femine side. You see in the womb of your mother we all start as a female and at the correct moment we get estrogen and testosterone. Testosterone will come from you balls and makes you male but a bit too much estrogen can make you think and feel like a woman. If you are a trans or you think you might be don't ask for help on the internet especially on a website like this one. It's very biased and most of the people here think that jerking off is bad. Search professional help they will be able to help you find out who you really are.
     
  18. boomin_business

    boomin_business New Fapstronaut

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    let me state something really important: Repeated Affirmations is in fact the only known way to consciously develop Belief / Faith in something, no matter if it is good or bad for you. Your confusion and your new beliefs can thus be easily explained. Excessive porn abuse including affirmations over the years mixed with strong emotions (sexual arousal) will confuse even the most masculine guy and will inevitably create these beliefs. This is the basis of all of our misery or success, it is the thoughts which we occupy in our mind, the beliefs we form, thus our actions we take and finally what kind of person we become. You consciously (even though not intentionally) choose/allowed your subconscious to be influenced by these affirmations out of habit, and the result is you drifting away from what you believe you actually are, your true self. The question is now will you choose - again - consciously to continue this path or not.
     
  19. boomin_business

    boomin_business New Fapstronaut

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    This is straight up as far from reality as possible. Look up my previous comment for explanation and stay educated. It is a known fact: Surround yourself with thieves and you will abhour it. Hang around long enough with them and you will eventually become one. Thanks for trying to keep up the confusion.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2022
  20. dre.spla

    dre.spla Fapstronaut

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    Follow your feelings. You feel guilt for acting in that way, that is not the path for you
     

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