Beloved God:

20 days clean.

I don't remember this feeling ever happening to me before. My soul is heavy, as if I had been crying a lot during the day, which I did not.

I am grateful for the tribulation that I am going through. I'm serious. Thanks to all this, I am closer to God than I have been in 2020. I continue to pray for the health of my friend, and I ask God for empowerment to make the necessary decisions and actions.

 

Psalms 23:2-4 NIV
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

​

 

Dear God,

I am here to hear your voice, Jesus. I am going through a time of trial, and I would like to know if there is any aspect of my life that I must change, to live in total holiness. I regret all my sins, all of them. I apologize for this "dark year" I have had, but I am committed to getting up again. I really regret it. Please have mercy. I don't sleep well, and I feel a tightness in my chest. Tell me if there is anything I can do to clear my way. I ask you to pass the test, but I am really grateful for it, since that has brought me closer to you. I am sorry that the test is necessary to return to you ... why can't I do it without having to have a hard time, do it out of gratitude? I hope this situation makes me mature spiritually. I love you and I praise you. Amen

 

Thank you so much. It's mine, yes.

 

22/90

I will summarize my current commitments to God:

1- For 90 days: No PM, no facebook, no twitter, no instagram, no reddit or any other social network except Nofap and Whatsapp. Also do not use Netflix or YouTube except for academic or Christian reasons. I will use Nofap without restrictions, but if the anxiety returns I will limit myself in its use again.

2-As for my non-Christian friend, after having prayed, I decide again that God does not disapprove of that friendship.

3- As for my writings, I will leave that matter on stand-by (I will not continue writing, or in that case, I will not present them in any contest), to return to it in prayer later.

4- For 90 days: Meditate on the Word 15 minutes a day, at least. I have resumed my thread on the Bible Challenge so I am complying with that daily, and I also read the Bible and make notes on paper.

5- I continue to spend time preparing for my classes, generally for more than an hour.

6-For 90 days: avoid physical contact on the bus and do not look at girls on the street.

7-I keep the door open, so God can continue adding aspect to working to live in holiness.

 

For a whole year I was trapped in the tentacles of the PM and despite that you blessed me, Jesus. Why, why, why was gratitude not enough? Why just with the test I have been able to resume the battle?

That reminds me of the words of Anne Frank: "Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude"

Thank you God for the test.

 

Another thing that I wonder is how to commit myself more to God, not when the test comes, but always, to do it out of gratitude.

When the tribulation passes, where will the passion of my faith go? I must do something now, that I suffer and I am more firm than ever in Christ. I must find a way that this difficult situation generates a change in my heart, so that when the difficulty is gone, the commitment to God is maintained.

But what can I do? I'm going to be praying a lot for this. Being able to motivate my faith in gratitude, and not in tribulation

 

Now, at night, I am calmer, but I was very nervous all day. It was good for me to have gone to church. My pastor told me that I would not be charged rent to live there, which makes me very blessed. A sister, an old lady, wanted to show me the tapestry that she had chosen for me, but we couldn't find it anywhere.

I keep praying for improvements this week on the topic of my dog. My head hurt a lot today from this (it still hurts, but less).

 

I'm going through the most difficult moments. My soul hurts. Today in the morning, with tears in my eyes, I regretted my sins like never before, especially about this last year of relapse.

Beloved God: sorry for everything. I regret everything. My soul cries out to you in anguish. My best friend is in a terrible situation, and I have to make difficult decisions. Please help me in these testing moments. I am disoriented, but I have full confidence in you. From now on I will not be the same. I don't want to be the same. Please forgive me and help me Jesus.

 

Thank you God that you have given me a day of relief. Last night was the worst night, but today I'm better, and hopeful. There are no words, Lord, of thanks for this

 

That is also my wish. Do you know something? Soon I will be living in a house inside my church. That means I will be in direct contact with the needs of the congregation. I believe that a time of great changes and spiritual growth is coming.

 

God, my friend's surgery is very close. I keep praying with great faith. There is hope that it will turn out well, and we hold on to that. A time of prayer has been created with my mother. She is supporting me and helping to take care of my friend. We pray for him and also for other issues. We see how God is answering our prayers.

 

I only have words of gratitude, Lord. The day of surgery is approaching, and my heart overflows with hope for all the blessings. I ask you to have this week off so I can better serve my dog. Thank you for your loyalty

 

I cannot write now all the wonderful things that God has shown me these days, and although the test continues (and there is still a long way to go) God is working