Can you even "reboot" really?

I agree with you. A strong component of nofap is to have the motivation to quit porn for ever and not be 50/50 about any part of pmo (including cleaning your thoughts). Because will power alone won't cut it, a new lifestyle avoiding isolation with access to the internet, rebuilding social life, setting goals and plans for the future etc can help to focus the mind, and generally you just get too busy to have time for pmo. Helps a lot in combination with other preventive measures and you have things to do following recovery so relapse chances remain low even years after. Also, I agree with your opinion on the benefits of nofap although I believe there is some truth in it. In my experience for instance, I almost failed my postgrad degree, and life has just been in shambles through my 20s as I engaged more with pmo and destroyed relationships, got depressed etc. Since starting nofap early this year I have submitted my thesis, written three papers, learning python for data analysis etc. I have not done these because of some super powers or something, but I was just spending too much time on pmo, the guilt associated with it and generally lagging behind everything because of pmo. So I think you just start focusing more on useful things when you get rid of an addiction. And of course this may feel like super powers to some people, but maybe they don't realise that a healthy and well adjusted human does that everyday.

 

I do think you are right 7tails. I am kind of coming to realize that the underlying culprit is lack of productivity, which comes from lack of a vision. There are several free or cheap online resources that help people build, refine, and work towards their visions and personal goals. Feelings of pessimism and hopelessness often accompany my ill decision to return to porn. I think when we all develop greater internal locus of control we fare better in this fight. Keep fighting the good fight and keep up the insightful reflections!

 

Not sure whether you are trying to be funny or something, but no one is here simply becausd of a masturbation and sex addiction... porn is an integral part of the issue here. So it would simply make more sense to not be on the site if you thought none of it worked. Am I mistaken here? Just don't see the point in your comment.

 

Precisely, you get more time to focus on things that you have always had the potential to achieve. You also find yourself engaging more with stuff that a healthy individual would, like buidling relationships etc. This is literally going back to being a healthy person without an addiction, and not some miraculous 'benefits'. I actually do not like it when people are focused on these said benefits rather than to focus on simply getting rid of their addiction. Then many complain that there are no benefits blah blah blah... of course not you are simply returning to being a healthy person and you can take advantage of that. Sorry about the rant but it's frustrating when people come up with all these unnecessary discussions their brains come up with to plant doubts into quiting. It should simply be enough that you are quiting an addiction, full stop.

 

I know pmo is a problem for me and I am quiting it because of that. I don't really care what theories people have debunked I would be happy to just be free of pmo. I am sure many people would not care for your comments either.

 

This is true, but I still believe that there are physical and spiritual benefits to abstaining which are in having more power.

So much energy--physical and mental--gets blown in PMO.

One can only imagine what could be accomplished if all of that fascination and intensity were channeled into constructive projects.

You are indeed right that a basic benefit is having more time for such efforts.

Part of my daily NoFap reflection is to think of all of the good things I could have done and all of the progress I could have made in all the hours I've spend doing PMO.

 

I think reboot if different for everyone, When I have gone long streaks I notice the following. I normally to get more confident and find that i generally function better socially. My natural desire for real women returns and my emotions are a bit more level in general seeing as I am not beating myself up for using porn.

I personally do not turn into a super hero as some people may say. I just become a slightly better human being. I suspect this is the case for many, I also suspect some people may exaggerate their results.

Overall my quality of life improves, PIED goes away etc. These are good wins in my opinion. Keep strong bro.

 

This is a benefit, but I do not think it is the only one. I would add

• Quitting porn is way hard. When we acheive that we feel pride. If we can do that then any change is possible. That makes us optomistic about who we could be.
• Quitting porn requires us to plumb the depths of our own psyche. Knowing ourselves like that and fixing ourselves makes us better people.
• Quitting porn requires us to experiment with and develop the tools and techniques of effective self improvement. We can apply them to other aspects of our lives.
  
• (This one does not apply to you, yet, but porn destroyed our relationships and quitting porn rebuilds them. Our partners feel restored and our relationships flourish. That makes us feel great and provides a better foundation to find wider happiness in our lives.)

 

Quitting porn is bigger than going 90 days free. A 90 day streak is just the start of the Journey. I have been free for 7 - 8 months and easily relapsed. What I normally find is that around 90 days you start to normalize i.e. Some of the negative effects of porn start to go away e.g. Your PIED may be gone, you don't feel the weight and guilt of PMO. For some this happens quicker and for others it takes longer.

Where I think the 90 days is useful is a potential gauge regarding how your recovery is coming. I personally do not believe in going full monk mode for excessive periods. I believe once your natural attraction for women returns and you can get and maintain an erection from just things like cuddling and kissing then it is good to move back towards normal sexual activity i.e. sex with a partner. In my opinion, you should should not masturbate at this stage for certain, only actual sex with a partner. In truth I am not sure if you should ever masturbate again as I find this leads back to porn.

Either way, quitting porn is difficult, Sometimes I get good streaks and then I am back in the shitter like I am now. I no longer bash myself as much but continue with the fight cause it is a worth while battle.

 

Saying that quitting porn results in hyper sensitivity is a bit extreme in my opinion, I do believe porn and masturbation desensitizes you. Porn did not always exist, so were people all hyper sensitive before porn's existence? If this is the case, then what you call hyper sensitivity may really be normal levels of sensitivity.

I do agree that being with the right person is important, when I spoke about having a natural attraction for women. I did not mean being attracted to every single woman who exist. I meant being attracted to a physically attractive lady (however this is subjective again). I also believe that even with out porn that excessive masturbation is not good. You hand even if lubricated does not feel like a vagina. Your hand can desensitize you penis, so when you have real intercourse it does not feel as good. Some persons can relate to having sex and thinking my hand does a better job.

I have been with women who are physically attractive and that I really like and could not get a boner. No porn and masturbation does assist with this dysfunction. Porn and masturbation go together also, I normally find that if I masturbate then it makes me feel like watching porn in order to enhance the experience and if I am watching porn then I want to masturbate for the same reasons. I have never locked my bedroom door and loaded up a porn site just to sit and watch lol. So if you are trying to quit, then you need to avoid both in my opinion.

I also agree that sex can be addictive also, and that masturbation and porn can be forms of sex addiction.

Looking forward to your comments, It is good to have a different point of view as it is an opportunity for growth. I do have a question, you don't seem to think there is value in NoFap. You described it as shenanigans, how come you are still using the forums?

 

From the about page of NoFap
> We refer to the process of recovering from porn addiction as “rebooting.”

You speak of "reboot" and "quitting porn" as if they were different things. Since it's a made-up concept, you should read the definition. Quitting porn is part of the reboot as you see.

So what do you mean with "quitting porn does nothing"? Is quitting an addition equal to "nothing"? Like in, is quitting smoking "doing nothing"?

So do you mean that stopping a harmful, self-destructive activity is "doing nothing"? Then why you have "Recovering Sex Addict" in your footer signature?

Please understand the meaning of words: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addiction
Are you saying that there isn't people who have strong inclination to use or indulge in porn, even in chronic and compulsive ways?

From the about page of NoFap:
> “NoFap” is neither a verb nor a principle. It’s the name of an organization and its associated website, tools, and services.
So NoFap does not mean what you claim nor the opposite, it's just a name.

Please read it yourself.

This is called "projection". Obviously you are confused.

So now "quitting porn" is doing something? I thought you said "it does nothing."
Please provide definitions and proof for the so-called quitting-porn-induced "hyper-sensitivity."

Who is getting a boner with every woman? It's not called "hyper-sensitivity", it's called "your fantasy."

 

Do you agree that the problem is LUST?

 

I think we are designed to be lustful. Lust is what leads us to procreate. Society may want to tell you lust is bad but I think it is a natural part of being a human being. The challenge is your ability to manage your lust.

When their is a trove of beautiful women a button click away is where things get problematic, Before when you lusted, you needed to make an effort to get that attractive woman. Now you just load one up and rub one out.