she's long gone man.. its been more than six months and she had blocked me after 2 months(without me ever texting or bothering her ) .
right after the breakup i was all better , I had a good streak for 60 something days and i was exercising and setting and accomplishing goals, life is indeed better now.. but this shit,pmo came back bro.. slowly and slowly it crept upon me , from 2020 September,from when i first relapsed after the breakup to today, its creeped upon me and has again destroyed everything that i build up after she left..like my positive mindset(which still remains a bit) ,the fetishes i overcomed like watching horror porn,bestiality,bondage etc( i used to suck my own dick and lick my own cum man!! now i ve come back to licking my cum again but haven't crossed to sucking , my exercise routine that i build-up has been ruined, and i struggle to keep a good streak again now..
2020 march was the time i got to a whole-time low of my existece and lost a beautiful relationship(for which i dont blame myself entirely now cause LDR sure added to the problems) ,and then i rose up and everyone told me i had changed. i even helped many people who were struggling back then.. but now its march 2021 and i find myself going back to the same hellhole i was in last year at the same time. right now i ve relapsed after a one day streak, so I've relapsed almost every 3-4 days this year except a 15 day streak from jan- feb( which started strong cause i accidentally saw her and that motivated me) ...
I type this now shamed and broken, head filled with stuff i ve done..I ve just watched a lot of porn ( which i searched up suddenly while i was reading the traffiking-hub post on nofap.com, which i opened to report my last relapse which was in the morning, just as i was running late to pick my lil brother from school ( i could've just waited a few more minutes??) and you know what? after watching porn and relapsing doing it twice, i wanked off to my ex's photo!! wow pathetic? isn't it?! i used to feel good about myself and had finally felt she had lost someone good, but now i feel like i totally deserved it and that she was right in leaving me cause i never change!!!!
i know the path i have to follow but i dont know why i m not doing it, i cant stay true to my goals cause i m constantly being distracted by social media( i ve uninstalled IG multiple times but i find something else always). I worked out in the morning, made a list of stuff i have to do today, but then i snapped my friends and got lost just like that..
oh god help me i m such a loser!!!
right after the breakup i was all better , I had a good streak for 60 something days and i was exercising and setting and accomplishing goals, life is indeed better now.. but this shit,pmo came back bro.. slowly and slowly it crept upon me , from 2020 September,from when i first relapsed after the breakup to today, its creeped upon me and has again destroyed everything that i build up after she left..like my positive mindset(which still remains a bit) ,the fetishes i overcomed like watching horror porn,bestiality,bondage etc( i used to suck my own dick and lick my own cum man!! now i ve come back to licking my cum again but haven't crossed to sucking , my exercise routine that i build-up has been ruined, and i struggle to keep a good streak again now..
2020 march was the time i got to a whole-time low of my existece and lost a beautiful relationship(for which i dont blame myself entirely now cause LDR sure added to the problems) ,and then i rose up and everyone told me i had changed. i even helped many people who were struggling back then.. but now its march 2021 and i find myself going back to the same hellhole i was in last year at the same time. right now i ve relapsed after a one day streak, so I've relapsed almost every 3-4 days this year except a 15 day streak from jan- feb( which started strong cause i accidentally saw her and that motivated me) ...
I type this now shamed and broken, head filled with stuff i ve done..I ve just watched a lot of porn ( which i searched up suddenly while i was reading the traffiking-hub post on nofap.com, which i opened to report my last relapse which was in the morning, just as i was running late to pick my lil brother from school ( i could've just waited a few more minutes??) and you know what? after watching porn and relapsing doing it twice, i wanked off to my ex's photo!! wow pathetic? isn't it?! i used to feel good about myself and had finally felt she had lost someone good, but now i feel like i totally deserved it and that she was right in leaving me cause i never change!!!!
i know the path i have to follow but i dont know why i m not doing it, i cant stay true to my goals cause i m constantly being distracted by social media( i ve uninstalled IG multiple times but i find something else always). I worked out in the morning, made a list of stuff i have to do today, but then i snapped my friends and got lost just like that..
oh god help me i m such a loser!!!
