DAY 1 AGAIN

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Well its day 1 again. Its been a pretty brutal four days. My anxiety and depression have been bouncing off the walls because of what is going in eastern europe. I think that was one of the deepest relapses Ive had in a really long time. Like I dont even know where that came from.

I thought it would just be a one and done type thing but nope..... In fact I finially woke up when I was in the chat section of website which I have never done before. Thats when the what the fuck am I doing hit. I did all this work to try and never relapse again and here I am. I have failed myself.

So then I went on a binge watch of nofap videos on youtube and something hit me again. I call it the cycle. Let me know if this sounds familiar.

It usually starts with unnecessary stress which causes anxiety. Now that I am stressed and anxious I am now actively seeking out ways to cure my stress and anxiety through either MO or PMO. Then the relapse happens which is followed by anger and depression. Then you just wash and repeat.

I mean come on this is too easy. Theres got to be a way to defeat this. But right now i feel defeated.
 
You're not the first of us who has relapsed and you won't be the last, but many here have failed only to come back and surprise themselves with sustained victory. We are here for you. You can do it.
 
AviationFreak97 said:
Well its day 1 again. Its been a pretty brutal four days. My anxiety and depression have been bouncing off the walls because of what is going in eastern europe. I think that was one of the deepest relapses Ive had in a really long time. Like I dont even know where that came from.

I thought it would just be a one and done type thing but nope..... In fact I finially woke up when I was in the chat section of website which I have never done before. Thats when the what the fuck am I doing hit. I did all this work to try and never relapse again and here I am. I have failed myself.

So then I went on a binge watch of nofap videos on youtube and something hit me again. I call it the cycle. Let me know if this sounds familiar.

It usually starts with unnecessary stress which causes anxiety. Now that I am stressed and anxious I am now actively seeking out ways to cure my stress and anxiety through either MO or PMO. Then the relapse happens which is followed by anger and depression. Then you just wash and repeat.

I mean come on this is too easy. Theres got to be a way to defeat this. But right now i feel defeated.
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Thank you for sharing about that cycle. It's a really insightful look into the thoughts and behaviors that happen before I relapse. My personal cycle has a few days of bad sleep mixed into it. Being able to name these thoughts and behaviors as they are happing has power. Meditation is crucial for me in doing this, it has help insert pauses in my life where before there had only been reactions.

I hope you keep posting! I think there's a whole lot more to learn about yourself along this journey.
 
I don't think I will be able to go through the process again. I think I am done. As much as I trying to think positively about the failure and redirect it into an urge to start again. I don't think I can.

I think I am done. I would rather die than to start this process again. I can't believe that I fell so easily to masturbation after almost 2 weeks to determination and fighting.

What shall I do? I wish I can restart life and start all over, fresh. I tried.

I know that I can, but I am not able to do the first step and take a bath. I am afraid that I will have to taste the regret and depression again.

But I can, this time will not be about myself, it will be for my family, for my community, and for every single one who is sick out there.
 
One step at a time! said:
I don't think I will be able to go through the process again. I think I am done. As much as I trying to think positively about the failure and redirect it into an urge to start again. I don't think I can.

I think I am done. I would rather die than to start this process again. I can't believe that I fell so easily to masturbation after almost 2 weeks to determination and fighting.

What shall I do? I wish I can restart life and start all over, fresh. I tried.

I know that I can, but I am not able to do the first step and take a bath. I am afraid that I will have to taste the regret and depression again.

But I can, this time will not be about myself, it will be for my family, for my community, and for every single one who is sick out there.
Click to expand...
In Sun Tzu’s Art of War he writes that “the supreme art of war is to win without fighting!” What if this can be applied to our war ?
 
I have same problem as you . It's good to hang out with friends and live a socialize life. First of all you need good friends . The book how to win friends and influence people helped me a lot. Another thing to do is to not give attention to fap and porn . That way the thought of it it's going to atrophy in your brain and you will forget about it but you still need to cover it with something useful like a hobbie.
 
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