Diary! Dose is work?

Hi @Lost Hope! I really enjoy reading your blog. I think we all totally understand what it feels like to have the flame of lust burning and to feel triggered by just about any warm body walking in the street. It’s like we get in this mode where we think women are sex robots and we want to position and control them for our pleasure. How sick and marred by sin are we?!? Women are daughters of God and were created in His image. By honoring women with our thoughts we honor Him.

You mentioned podcasts. Just curious what podcasts do you listen to? I recently found relief from a triggering situation by listening to the bare marriage podcast episode #147 “the porn triage”. Sounds like you might be single, but this ep talks about healthy male sexuality. I find that hearing a woman’s voice and thinking about her as a person and child of God is a good way to cool the flame that you mentioned.

My thoughts.

 

Stand firm and do not go back into the pit. There is nothing there for us. Even just a peek is enough to rekindle that terrible fire. Let it die.

 

Yeah, I hate having lustful dreams too. I've recently been getting nightmares about women though, so I guess those dreams and nightmares are canceling each other out now.

 

IMHO, dreams may be triggered by deep-seated memories or they may be triggered by a fleeting thought planted in our minds by passing images. I think another possibility is they are triggered by fears. Although I am confident that if I stay close to Christ, daily clinging to his cloak through prayer, I won't succumb to temptations, but before this confidence was granted to me, I think my fear of relapsing generated some unwanted dreams. Regardless of the cause, I am sure the key is to not attach a great deal of importance to dreams and particularly not let our minds dwell on them but rather force ourselves to think of other things.

 

Do not despair nor give these feelings any more urgency or power than they deserve. I assure you, the power you feel from these temptations is temporary and it can be managed to nothing. We cannot turn our minds off but we can distract them to focus on other things and thereby deflate the bubble of emotion you are feeling.

Consider, what wholesome things do you enjoy doing? What activities bring you peace and happiness? Do you pray when you are being tempted?

In the early days of my reboot, I knew that late at night and early mornings, when others were asleep, were periods when I could not trust myself to be alone with my electronic device (in my case, a laptop). So I began leaving it far as far away as I could in order to make it as inconvenient as possible. At other times of temptation, I chose to exercise or work on a hobby that I really enjoy as a means to distract myself. Doing these things while listening to religious books on tape or podcasts was particularly helpful in chasing temptation away. However, ultimately I found that prayer was the most important missing component in my abstinence. Now, when I feel a twinge of temptation, I say a short prayer to my friend and brother, Jesus Christ. I ask Him to manage my temptations for me because I know that I am not strong enough. The stronger the temptation, the longer I must pray to Jesus.

In short, I would say there are two areas we all must concentrate on. (1) Manage our minds and our actions to minimize temptation and when tempted replace the thoughts with other things and (2) Pray with all of your heart for Christ to manage temptation for us. If you do these things, to the very best of your ability, freedom will be yours.

 

When your mind is being overrun, do this:
- Sit still and quietly.
- Hand over every thought to Christ as it enters your mind. Just give it to him, without trying to explain it away. Be honest with him about what is in your mind.
- Ask him to show you the lie in the thought. What are you believing that compel you to go back to PMO?
- Ask him to show you the truth that counters the lie.
- Sit and wait. You do not have to say anything, inwardly or outwardly. Babbling is no good. Silence is golden.
- As he reveals the truth to you, meditate on that. Keep your mind focused on the truth.
- Do this until the temptation passes, and you feel your mind is clear again.

It sounds like you have a terrific opportunity in a week off work to give this practice the proper focus it needs for it to become your habit. I once spent hours each day in this; now I can go through this process is minutes, if not seconds. Learning to take control of our thoughts is absolutely essential for every disciple. Wisely invest the gift of time you have been given in the week ahead. Use it for your betterment, not for ill.

 

I am praying for you and particularly that Christ may reveal to you how deeply He loves you and how ardently He wants good things for you. Wonderful, beautiful things like wisdom, humility, peace and joy. Please pray for all of us here.

 

God provides all we need in his perfect timing. While we wait, we work and pray and grow in grace. Reject the lie to "test" your libido. When it serves some helpful purpose in your life, it will be there, you can be sure. Until then, why wake it back up? That fire will only serve to burn you atm.

Congrats on 60 days. HUGE milestone!

 

You did well. The temptation to lust is a particularly powerful one. You are wise not to test your willpower by even glancing at P. The solution is to run from temptation the very instant that you recognize it. Do not allow the images to enter your eyes and then dwell in your brain, to do otherwise is simply torturing ourselves.

Congratulations on 60 days! This is an achievement for sure; not necessarily because of the number of days but because of the degree to which you are cementing good habits within yourself. Each day is one more step towards freedom and one more brick in the wall against temptation. Keep striving!