Diary! Dose is work?

And how would PMO make loneliness better? Won't it truly just make it worse?

We will pray, but you must take the steps. Christ is with you every step of the way! Keep your focus on the truth of his presence.

 

To say "nothing goes my way" and "God is punishing me" without providing any detail just sounds like general griping. Can you say anything specific about what is going on in your life that is so terrible right now?

Some can M without it leading back P, but many cannot. If M is just a gateway to P, it must go. Sounds like that is the case for you.

You have been walking in self-denial for 77 days, but it does not seem that you are refocused on anything else. If you do not fill the void left behind by PMO, you will eventually go back to it. It is critical that you occupy that space in your heart and mind with something productive and healthy and positive. What in life truly brings you joy? What can you get lost in for hours and barely notice time passing by? How can you incorporate more of these things into your life? What does that look like for you? Instead of just focusing on the negative ("no PMO"), what does it mean for you to focus on the positive?

The steps I have taken are outlined at the links below. They have led me to life.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zqVL11JjWICOHCRUDmqXr9TNC_gpb6yhRF1hKp-fxcc/edit

https://www.celebraterecovery.com/resources/cr-tools/8principles

 

Sounds like you have a lot of things to consider. I'll look forward to hearing what you learn.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Sheer willpower will never be enough to see us through to freedom.

 

Temptation comes in many forms and many of them seem innocent or perhaps even wholesome. The reason is obvious, the devil knows that he couldn't ensnare us with things or people that aren't interesting or appealing to us in one way or another. Of course, not all attractive persons or images are instruments of the devil but he can use them, unwittingly, when our minds are drawn to sin.

The human mind is an idol making machine and making an idol out of the human body, sex or P is the act that leads us to trouble. God said He is a jealous God and we shall place no false gods before Him or alongside of Him. When we heed the most important commandment, that is to love the Lord your God with ALL of your heart, mind and soul, we smash the idols that undermine our love for God. There is nothing wrong with liking a female and getting to know her as a fellow human with a beautiful soul made by God. The problem becomes when we idolize a female and put her on a pedestal to be worshipped for her sexuality.

I readily admit, this is easier said than done but recognizing that we have each built these false idols in our mind and we then worship them as if they had innate power is an important step to destroying them. Our God loves you with a love and a wisdom beyond human comprehension; an awesome love deserving of our love, in return. When we truly love someone, we avoid things that offend them and our desire to please them supersedes other desires.

 

It is good. You are sharing your struggles. We can all suffer from this. When you give up porn, your mind is still looking for it. You have to be vigilant in killing the fantasies and turning your attention to God. God’s spirit will be trying to help you. Listen to Him.

 

Sounds like what my mind ends up doing, to a degree. Little events with in-real-life women lead to fantasy, which eventually leads to p-subs or porn. As @CPilot said, there's nothing wrong with getting to know a woman--you could stop and strike up a conversation if you wanted. I think if you are single, it might be alright to occasionally think about the woman (as in, "if I see her again, I think this is what I want to do--I'll ask her what her name is; or ask her for coffee; etc."), but I would be very careful here. Don't fantasize about her. Just the idea of the possibility of a relationship with a woman seems to be opening up urges to reach what in the minds of us porn addicts is all that matters: sex.

So here's the lie: Women only exist for our pleasure and for sex. Here's the truth: As a Christian, you're simply called to love your neighbor and rest in your identity in Christ. This woman may not even be a Christian, or may have a seriously messed-up life. You can't know without getting to know her. But as a porn addict, you and I are tempted to go right to sex. Can you see how wrong that is? Women don't exist simply for our pleasure or for sex, and yet that's the logic that slips you right back into looking at porn. Don't treat the women who say "Hi" to you as substitutes for porn. May the Lord give you strength to see the way out.

 

Congratulations! I am truly pleased to read about your ongoing success. Keep striving. Keep us posted. Thank you!

 

Be patient with yourself. Unfortunately, sin not only distances us from God, it also increases our attraction to sin. If you trained your brain for many years, as I did, to look for salacious images of people and pictures it does take some time to reset. You are doing exceedingly well to have crossed the 90 day milestone. A true achievement! This is proof you can go on to even greater degrees of freedom.

I am sure we are all different but in my case, I remember that the strength of temptations did not necessarily decrease in a linear fashion. There were some plateaus but generally followed by a noticeable decrease. Somewhere around the 200 day point, it occurred to me that the strength of temptations had become quite faint and with more time even fainter.

 

Congrats on 90 days! A terrific milestone.

I concur with @CPilot . I think somewhere around the 200-day mark is when the enemy knows this is an area where you are not going to be easily tempted any longer, and so the temptations ease up. We must remain vigilant each day, but there does come a time when this vigilance becomes ingrained and habitual and automatic, like our breathing or our heartbeat. And indeed, resting in Christ is just as essential and life-giving as these two activities!

 

This is really encouraging, thank you!