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Did any one else have the opposite effects because of loneliness?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Oct 3, 2018.

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  1. Oct 3, 2018 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    So for about 2 years I completely stopped all PMO for religious and personal reasons. A month or 2 ago I had total relapse. I didn't really want to relapse but, you see, I actually had the opposite of what I thought would happen, happen. I got super depressed, suicidal, less confidant, gained weight, etc. The longer I went the more I wanted to literally kill myself. I'm a total virgin and nobody has ever liked me as far as I know and I've never been on a date in my life. I think I'm just so lonely that PMO is the only way I can deal with it and I absolutely hate that! I don't want to be like this anymore I hate it. Does anyone else have this problem of intense loneliness causing opposite effects of NoFap compared to almost every one else? Please answer honestly, I need help from similar people.
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 3, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 3, 2018
    #1
    Atlanticus likes this.
  2. Oct 3, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I remember being super pissed because I was alone for years I tried to hid my feelings in porn, booze it didn't help it just was there to distract me I worked on feeling my feelings I found this out threw reading a lot of psychology books and websites and then not trying run away from my feelings and it helped a lot. Now when I get down or pissed instead of distracting myself I catch myself and say whatever I am feeling is ok there is something underneath this that I need to feel . I hope this helps
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 3, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 3, 2018
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    bMan90 likes this.
  3. Oct 3, 2018 #3
    Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant
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    Thanks for your post: it feels real, and raw.

    Of course PMO and PMO-addiction are linked to loneliness -- causally in both directions, IMO.

    Like some others, I am great believer in _not_ only relying on brain plasticity to rewire our lives... that won't work. However effective the reboot may be physically... in spiritual, mental, social, intellectual, and emotional terms _other things_ need to happen, parallel. Much of that is en-ti-re-ly personal, in that we all have our own inner crosses to bear. Only you can access yours (with a friend, a shrink, or a AP, perhaps).

    But rebooting without identifying and addressing the underlying hurt, fear, resentment, developmental voids, traumas etc... all the particular experiences that make us unbalanced and make us reach for such poison as PMO to fill our inner lives.... all _that_ stuff needs to be addressed parallel for this to work.

    If not, you're back to square one, only without a toxic escape.... which may well make a relapse close to inevitable.

    So, while I don't know what combination of factors drove you into emotional exile and into the arms of the porn industry... and while it is EX-CEL-LENT that you have the discipline to cut ties with PMO, we must all, simultaneously, address the things that drove us to it in the first place.

    Hope that helps -- a little!

    Peace!
     
    Atlanticus, Oct 3, 2018
    Atlanticus, Oct 3, 2018
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  4. Oct 4, 2018 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest


    Thanks, this does help a bit. You seem to understand me a bit better than just about everyone in my personal life. Everyone says I need pills not changes or solutions and that really hurts to see they don't get me. Just to humor them I've talked to several specialists and they've all confirmed that there is indeed no medication to help me with any of my physical or psychological. I'll just have to keep trying to improve my life in general and hope that helps.
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 4, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 4, 2018
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    Atlanticus likes this.
  5. Oct 5, 2018 #5
    Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant
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    Yes, so...have you peeled the onion a bit on what you're "getting" out of PMO?
     
    Atlanticus, Oct 5, 2018
    Atlanticus, Oct 5, 2018
    #5
  6. Oct 8, 2018 #6
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    In the end I suppose I'm getting nothing but temporary "relief" from feeling lonely. This has become such a deep rooted problem that I even sleepwalk to the other side of the house grab tissues and start looking at porn before I'm even awake. By the time I awake it feels like I'm at a point of no return.

    I believe my problem comes from numerous sources, abuse, bullying, being taken advantage of, not having friends till I was 19, and more...

    I'm differently not giving up but I feel a bit lost at the moment.
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 8, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 8, 2018
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    Atlanticus likes this.
  7. Oct 10, 2018 #7
    Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant
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    So.... I think we all need to bring light, i.e. health, into our lives!
    Knowing what drove us to PM-insanity is great...IF we turn that around by taking control ... getting past blaming and comparing and instead taking sanity into our own hands. Wanna have friends? Be friends to others. Life, after all, is less about where you are than where you're going: it's a process and any upward movement it progress!
     
    Atlanticus, Oct 10, 2018
    Atlanticus, Oct 10, 2018
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    bMan90 and Hros like this.

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