Do you tell friends/family/other people that you're a fapstronaut?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by DutchAnonymous, May 1, 2015.

  1. DutchAnonymous

    DutchAnonymous Fapstronaut

    I just hear a lot of people talking about P. And those people always talk about it that it's something 'normal'. Sometimes I'm wondering if I should tell them about NoFap and that I'm a fapstronaut. And telling them that there's another side of opinion. That seems very scary for me.
    However I'm still wondering how you guys interact with other people about P?
    soldier2806 likes this.
  2. Fapping isn't something I'd ever consider discussing with family in the first place. Told a couple of friends and joked around about it, though.
    Dailydoer likes this.
  3. GeorgeWasHere

    GeorgeWasHere Fapstronaut

    I've shared it with a few people, but it's not something I publicly advertise.
  4. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

    Hey, man, if you're comfortable sharing that information with people in your life, more power to you. Who knows? Maybe someone you talk to about it is in the same boat as you are and will turn his life around based on the information you pass along. Certainly not for everyone, but that doesn't mean it isn't OK for you.
  5. I have a good relationship with my primary care doc and will probably mention this to him when I see him next. I joked around with my friends after a bad breakup about how my P consumption had gone through the roof, but I didn't say I thought it was a problem. So in general, no.
  6. Caveat Emptor

    Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

    A lot of people in my life know about my former addiction, and my passion for the antiporn movement. I don't mention NoFap specifically, but I do mention "a large porn addiction recovery community." My girlfriend, mom, dad, brothers, sister and two best friends know about it. Most people approved very much. One of my older brothers was neutral. He said "porn is a choice." My dad was the only negative. He said something like 'be careful. You might alienate the people you love.'

    If porn comes up with someone that doesn't know this about me, I like to say something like "you know, I quit porn awhile ago, and my life is so much better without it. I plan on never going back." Something simple and casual is a good way to approach. Don't ever tell someone they're poisoning themselves with porn (even if they are). Always talk about your own story. That's the best way to talk about this, in my opinion.
  7. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    I tell pretty much everyone about the negative effects of porn and how it is impacting the next generation. I tweet about it and post it on FB which is usually met with pure shock and awe. No one seems to know about this stuff!

    I do not however tell anyone about my husbands issues. Absolutely no one knows about it. Since most people have no idea that this is an addiction they will just come away from that convo thinking I am bad in bed or a prude :rolleyes: This is pretty much why I love this forum. It's full of people who get it!
  8. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    @Limeaid Isn't that sort of alienating yourself from your friends?
  9. depo27

    depo27 Fapstronaut

    No.... what would I tell them? "I was a P addict, but not anymore, I haven't fapped for 4 months, I'm P-free, aren't you proud of me???", lmao. Almost everyone thinks watching p/fapping is "normal".
    Kurapika likes this.
  10. CountryDude

    CountryDude Fapstronaut

    No, its too personal
  11. tomtom

    tomtom Fapstronaut

    I haven't told anyone, not even my wife. She knows I used to MO "occasionally" and she probably guessed "some" P was also involved but I don't think she ever knew the full extent of it (almost daily P and edging for 1-3 hours)

    Sometime ago she seemed surprised when I implied that I hadn't MO'd for a month or so ( it was actually a much longer time).

    My DE and ED are gone. Those were something that she sure noticed and I guess she assumed they were for some reason caused by her. She hasn't asked why they are gone but if she will I'll tell her that I've completely stopped MO in order to improve our sex life. That isn't really a lie, I'll just omit some of the details..

    I know, in a marriage you should be able to talk about anything but I'm not really ready for it yet.

    Among my friends I guess everyone assumes everyone does some PMO. It will take some time before I'll say I have quit it completely. It isn't really something that we talk about so I might not have to make the decision for a long time...
  12. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I've told a few friends. A few didn't take me seriously. One clearly didn't believed me when I said I'd stopped. Another asked "Oh and have you found God as well?". Considering I've been an atheist most of my life I found this a little insulting.

    But two friends I've confided were really good. Both were supportive, and one admitted that he also has a bit of a problem with masturbation. P/M hadn't been a problem for the other friend, but he was supportive nonetheless.

    It's more difficult to tell family members. I think that I should tell my parents at some point (I live at home), but I'm scared that they will misunderstand and judge me as some kind of sick sexual person and treat me differently after that...

    Just my 2 cents.
    KevinesKay and (deleted member) like this.
  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Saying that - you must be 'Stralian, hehehe! :p
  14. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Haha! Nope. Canadian Eh!
    NoBrainer likes this.
  15. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Sort of I guess. I have two best friends and one friend doesn't care if her bf watches porn because she's too tired to have sex (they just had a baby) my other friend just nods her head and smiles when I talk about it. I just feel like the right moment never came up to open up about it you know? I also feel bad for my husband because I don't want my girlfriends to think badly of him because they love him so much.
  16. KeenEye

    KeenEye Fapstronaut

    When the topic comes up, I basically tell every guy (I've told some girls too). I can't keep silent when others make remarks on some girl's sexiness and how they're going to fap to her image later, or just porn. I even talk about it when the topic is about exercising and lack of motivation. I reccommend nofap to every guy with whom I talk about these things. So far, a cousin and some other people seem to "resist" the nofap insights I give them and they would not let go. Other people have taken up the nofap lifestyle with enthusiasm. My cousin reached 100 days no PMO, and two of my friends are trying. One friend lessened his masturbation to once a week, but now he seems to be back to heavier PMO use. Another is trying to recover but thinks it's too hard to control himself.
    I'm not judging anyone here who does not talk about nofap with other people, but for someone like me whose morality is mostly about "helping others attain and maintain a life devoid of suffering", I can't sit by and not let others know about what I've learned about nofap. Because I believe masturbation is the source of many problems they have and they exclude M from being a possible cause because of how it's said that masturbation is healthy and normal. I don't care whether it's private or not, I just do my part in the world's recovery from PMO. You can say that I don't agree that "it's their choice". I don't see any choice in a fapper's relationship with PMO. We have to admit that us fapstronauts know by now that NOTHING GOOD ever comes out of PMO. I don't pretend that it's not the case so that I would appear "open-minded". So yes I talk about it whenever the need arises!
    Saracen_, Limeaid and HippyMinstrel like this.
  17. I have told a few of my close friends that I am addicted to porn and masturbation.Their reactions were quite normal but there is one 'friend' that I have told that I am a fapstronaut and about the NoFap site.He laughed in my face.That's why I only tell people who I can trust.I think it's a personal thing but if it comes up in a convo I would put in my input.
    KevinesKay likes this.
  18. DutchAnonymous

    DutchAnonymous Fapstronaut

    Wow guys! Very interesting response!! I haven't checked nofap in the weekend, so sorry for the late response from me. Still it's a positive thing that I didn't have to go on nofap, because I wasn't really thinking about P in the weekend, so things are going good for me as a starting fapstronaut.

    What I'm seeing are people who:
    • Tell nothing to anyone, except here on nofap
    • Tell their closest friends
    • Tell many friends and family
    • Tell anyone, any moment.
    This seems something that I want to do, but also something I'm afraid of doing. I've noticed that a few people mentioned people not taking them seriously. I'd hope that if I talk to other people, that it'll just stick to 'a few'. I'll be starting of with people I know very well and then talk to more people whenever feels right.

    Thank you all guys!
    Kurapika, KeenEye and Caveat Emptor like this.
  19. KeenEye

    KeenEye Fapstronaut

    Welcome back man and good luck with the rest of the week. It gets easier after the third week, so you need real caution and choice-making in the first two weeks!

    Well of course, my social anxiety and other habits that suppress my ideals get in the way pf me always doing what my higher self would do, but I have improved in that. When neccessary, I do what is right to me in accordance with the "more joy, less suffering" attitude.
    And yes you will get negative reactions from some people. I only say these things to a person who seems to to be able to keep up a conversation with me that is about self improvement, deep subjects...etc. However, I have little regard for their negative attitudes when I say these things because these people are deeply flawed or just don't know when to stop joking about important things. Anyone who makes fun of you is likely to 1. have flaws in their character for which they cover up with dragging others down to a level below them 2. has grudging admiration for you. You're being of assistance when you warn them about for example the effects of PMO. Why should we have regard for their negative attitude instead of having it for your good intention.
    If you know or believe PMO to be harmful, it's good to tell others who are receptive to good advice. Watch out however, that some people will argue on and on and seem value masturbation so much that they won't even go 2 weeks in their lives just to see what difference it makes, or they just can't do that but they cover that up with arguing forever. You can always read posts from nofap if your resolve is weakned by some pro-PMO person or when you read an article that talks about harmless masturbation is.
    DutchAnonymous likes this.

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