Annnnnnnnnnd my good friends Bed Tantrums have returned bc I was tired and miserable last night. I actually cross posted the folliwing under his journal since OBVIOUSLY he's a clean and reformed guy who can't be bothered to write anything any more. I just got pissed how maybe some other PA was struggling and they read his journal of oh my addiction is chill I'm just a busy boy at work ..... yeah excuses excuses...... so let's pick it up shall we: So apparently there were plenty of urges and chaser effects that occurred. But that's probably not worth talking about. Who cares .... Nor is the old behavior of thrashing around in the bed after he tries for sex and it doesn't happen. Yes there is a lot of stress right now on both sides, but he forgets he said the same things before. It sucks to be mentally and physically whipped or actually hurt/sick and your partner is having a tantrum of sorts bc you don't feel like doing it in that moment. So let's summarize the last week in my eyes. Lack of total participation here, he went out alone and drank (has fought NUMEROUS chemical addictions just within the past 2 years), basically iced me out for any kind of personal conversation during the day but got perturbed when I gave it right back bc then I'm doing it bc in the past week I've obviously found another person, any kind of non sexual touching stopped over a week ago and if he initiated it I knew where he wanted it to go prior to his day 90 which obviously was a joke as it went down in flames on day 88, where as we used to carpool a lot together for work issues he seems to always be just outside of a time where I am able to catch up with him to do so, and the first go at sex he as always goes for 2 orgasms,(bc everyone needs 2 after almost 90 days clear right???) and then 2 days later when I basically shut off the chances for the second O round, the tossing and turning bed tantrums start. Also the new found security in himself to say he thinks he can now go without P blockers on the phone....yeah ok. So I'm sorry if this to anyone seems like a person who controls the addiction not the other way around, bc to me it definitely does not. And I know I come off as the total bitch partner putting all this out there, but I also want it seen by other addicts that Mr. Oh look I'm cruising now is definitely not near that stage. It isn't right to do this journal and basically just lie via omissions. Something else he did well the last 5 year's coming back into play again. I honestly also think he's been getting charged up so to speak from something , which to me is probably his work bc the higher the temps get the more clothes come off by the stable workers (most you wouldn't seriously touch with your enemies dick but body parts are body parts) and female horse riders that basically give you nothing but a full view of their ass bc of the nature of the the type of riding position. It's funny bc not many times from the rear view you'd be hard pressed on who's male or female.....but alas that road was ventured down too so who knows. I'm just really reaching the end of a very frayed and burned rope. I had thought the reboot was a miracle in waiting, I guess when one is half assing it, it's just days to count as they go by. I thought he had a grip on this shit. A new day was going to begin to dawn. Jokes on me apparently.