First time in my life I hit on a woman! And... it went horrible.

Buddy, relax. So she said no. Big deal. There are one million valid reasons for which she would not want to go have a drink with you. And 999,000 of them won't have anything to do with you. So just take a deep breath, dust yourself off, and try again. Don't beat yourself up too hard, as you don't know what is going through her mind.

But don't stop trying on account that this one woman didn't want to go out with you. However, be more observant for the subtle clues that they're not interested, and stop before you get too intense.

You did well. If you ask 10 times and get 9 no's, you're still ahead by 1. If you never ask, the answer will always be no.

 

You mean to say that the first time you hit on a girl it didn't go perfectly?

Well, that makes the 99.99% of us who had the same experience feel a lot better.

You'll be fine. Relax and stay positive. And don't stop trying.

 

I will give you some womanly advice because I have been asked out cold like this before and I can shed some light on how things went. It would have been AWESOME if you had talked to her like you did the first two GUYS. Women are exactly the same as men pretty much. I would have been right there talking conspiracy about Tesla. Why didn't you just try a conversation with her? Then if the vibe was going well you could have asked her for her number or something. I cannot see any woman giving a number or meeting for drinks with a complete stranger without at least talking first. It helps us take our guard down. Most women walk around with a major guard up. We have to. Definitely go that route next time. Maybe say to yourself "pretend she's a guy, pretend she's a guy" if it helps!! Employ the exact same conversational strategies with women that you do with men. Don't assume we won't know what you are talking about or that we aren't interested etc. Don't think about it in terms of "escalating" or "daygame" but as talking to another human being. Then if the vibe is right, she's laughing and talking back, go for it!!

Ok advice over! I just want to say that this was a major step and you should be very proud of yourself for going out on a limb and being vulnerable

 

Fap...brother, you're a young single man and that's something I've never really been. But as a young married man with 3 kids, I don't rate myself socially on how good I am at picking up women. That's something I don't have to deal with and I feel for ya. Society says your finess at "playing the game" = social skills. That's dumb, don't do it. I know enough to know @Limeaid is giving you solid advice. That's how I met my wife, by just talking and getting to know her. Sure I was attracted, but the more I got to know her the more our mutual trust built. And, yes you do need to trust a woman before you go on a date. I used to work with sex offenders in prison and believe me a wrong date can wreck you!

 

"Most women walk around with a major guard up. We have to."

Why do you have to walk around with a major guard up?

 

It honestly could have been worse. From reading the topic I had a different idea that I won't share

You did great, asked her out, but she wasn't exactly interested. I don't blame her since it's weird meeting a complete stranger. Maybe you will see her again and you can just be friendly. Chat her up. It won't be so weird and awkward anymore

you know, your body naturally has a "fight or flight" reflex. This was just her natural reaction.

Don't worry! Just keep being yourself

 

The woman that gave advice is exactly right.
Approach women like a person.
Start a simple conversation
"Hello"
If she avoids eye contact and an awkward smile.and a cold hello..the vibe isn't there.
If she smiles genuinely and gives a warm hello. Ask her how she is today.
Then go from there.
Good luck buddy

And btw..to answer that guys question...why do women have to have guards up? Because men often are like predators and quite frankly creepy. Because they watch too much damn porn and have a diluted filter on how women should he approached!

I do well talking with women because I'm calm and don't try so hard. I jus talk to them normally and when attraction is there it jus builds naturally.

 

Yeah it's unfortunate but most women are somewhat "afraid" or "wary" of strange men so most of us can be guarded. Throw in the fact that most of us have had negative experiences with some men like, oggling, catcalling and the like and you might be able to understand why.

"Until some man came to workout as well. Shortly we started a conversation firstly about our exercises then about how professional athletes use steroids"

This is exactly how you should approach women. You were both exercising so why not chat about that. This is the absolute best advice I can give you for next time. Good luck

 

Welcome to the club @fapequalsdeath.

We've all been there, and it never really gets easier.

The trick is to never give up...
Real women are beautiful, sensitive, creative, and wonderful creatures who are definitely worth getting to know better...
So it didn't work out this time? You're a step closer to it happening...
At least you're interacting with real woman and not pixelated figures on a screen...
Stay focused...

Stay strong!

 

bro...first time I did ANYTHING in my life I sucked at it thats totally normal. Keep up the good work!

 

I spent about 2 years watching SimplePickup videos and never applied it to girls.

Then I graduated high school.

When I went to university, I realised that these girls do not know my past like the limited, yet connected groups of girls during high school. Further, these girls did not know each other. I was given a clean slate.

Realising the clean slate, I slowly became more interesting and found hobbies that I enjoyed. I also expanded on knowledge in areas of conversation where everyone would go to (music, art, literature, movies etc.). I spent a year talking to every girl I met that was attractive; racked up about 20 odd rejections (sometimes more than one rejections for one girl, because hey, I was clueless and socially retarded).

3 months ago I met the most beautiful girl I've ever met and we just clicked; the chemistry was there, everything was great. No PUA techniques, just me talking to her like she's a human being with an equally interesting life story as me.

Don't be afraid to be rejected brother, because getting rejected is indisputable proof that you've tried; and the fact you tried means you're indisputably better than that person who is too scared to.

 

Another woman here. I'm gonna second everything Limeaid said. Seriously, I think the biggest reason most guys have trouble connecting with women is that they have themselves all psyched out about women being these otherworldly creatures. Talking to a woman is just like talking to a guy. Really.

Another thing, I think guys are worried way too much about how they, themselves, appear, both physically and in terms of material success. I'm objectively a pretty attractive woman and the number one thing that has always attracted me to guys (my husband included) is if they have something interesting to say when they open their mouths, if we share common interests, if they have something they're passionate about and if they are interested in me beyond getting in my pants. Everything else is secondary.

My friends and family all seem to be the same. My one niece stands out in particular. She's eight years younger than me, crazy smart, funny, and kind, looks like Taylor Swift with a better figure, is an exercise physiologist who models professionally on the side and is married to and crazy in love with a guy who looks like Howdy Doody. They started as friends, have a lot of interests in common, he's crazy smart, is actually interested in her as a whole person and he treats her well.

Basically, just relax, pursue your interests and be friendly. You will find the right girl for you.

 

No matter how you look at it, this WAS a victory.

You know, the approaching and asking is the hardest part and your only option and you did it
The rest is up to her. A 'yes' or 'no' is 100% out of your control. You already won by just asking her!!!

 

Asides from your awkward approach she most likely wasn't physically attracted. let's be honest with ourselves, physical attraction is numero uno , and works vice versa. if we don't like what we see then chances are we won't be interested in anything more then a platonic friendship.


Work on your approach, make small talk, and try something along the lines of 'so what's it going to take to see you again' Followed by 'what's the best way to get ahold of you' IF she's responsive.

Always have an objective, and plan before hand. Once all is said and done, give her something to look forward to (if conversation is going well). For example - 'You seem cool. We should meet up later this week, something simple like coffee.'



It all comes with experience.

that awkward straight up approach won't work... maybe in a bar if she's drunk and thinks your hot.

 

I'd say this is good advice. (Also Limeaid's post is great). Although I don't have experience with talking to women, just beware that there is a lot of absolute bullshit online about "picking up girls" etc. Most of it is complete tripe. I'd say you could learn more from nofap, than any other site attempting to 'teach' how to approach women. Women's perspectives on here, in a safe environment are especially helpful.

Also- Nikola Tesla: what a guy!