Forsaking Massage parlors…

Hey guys, I’m new here. I appreciate the love & support already shown to me. A few of you saw my comments in another thread on erotic massage parlors and reached out to offer accountability partner help if I needed it.

I’ve been off porn for around 4 months, and detoxing from MO for about 1 month. But…the worst is not forsaken.

I’ve been regulating AMPs for about 3/4 years…longest streak that I’ve withheld has been around 4 months.

Just relapsed last week since January and received HJ and BJ last week. I’m in fear to destroy my marriage and lose my family to this addiction. I need out.

The wife knows about me going cold turkey in leaving porn, but is in the dark about the AMPs.

I’m too fearful to bring that to light…I’m scared of the consequences. I know what they’ll be. She’ll definitely leave me.

That’s why I want to change. I know it’s impossible on my own strength. Only God by his grace can sanctity me into a different man.

I’ll probably start a journal in order to track my progress and stay scout able to the collective body of fapstronauts here. I appreciate all and any responses!

 

March 8th…International women’s day.

Day 6: No visiting massage parlors
Day 21: No self-stimulated MO
Day 90: No porn

Lord help me.

 

March 10th.

Day 8: No visiting massage parlors
Day 23: No self-stimulated MO
Day 92: No porn

Driving around town to go to work and back, I see massage parlors everywhere. They’re nearly in every single business plaza and shopping plaza. My city is infested with them…

Killing the thoughts and rejecting the lies that are proposed to me by my filthy and untrained mind.

Thank you Lord for your grace! Realizing that enjoying the good & righteous pleasures in my wife and kids is wayyyyyy more satisfying and edifying in the bigger picture!

 

Bro, thanks for the kind words, support, and suggestions! I def know it’s possible to stop that kind of behavior and you are a testament to that! I’ve been very encouraged by your story Man. I’ve been binging your journal for the past week. Im still not caught up, but in page 22! Haha I’ll be caught up soon!

Glad to join the team and beat this thing! The Lord is good!

 

Amen brother. Thanks for the encouragement. Scripture and prayer are essential in all this. The solution to these problems is never within us, but outside of us. In Christ & his Word.

It’s so true. Those means of grace do heal and restore the mind! I’ve been studying Hosea as of late, and in Hosea 11:1-4, the Lord reminds Israel that it was he who redeemed them. Out of Egypt and taught them how to walk and healed them and provided everything they needed. Such a tender picture of a loving father. I’ve been so struck just consider king the affection of the Father in reading that.

 

March 15th.

Day 13: No visiting massage parlors
Day 28: No M
Day 92: No Porn

Had urges last night as I lay in bed…need to be more disciplined and not let my mind take control of my imagination which will then take control of desires and intentions, which then turns into action.

Lord, help me dwell on you and see your grace in all that you have provided me. I’m truly grateful to be able to even be on this forum and splurge out my deepest and most troubled desires. Help me reign in whatever looming list is in me and help me honor you with what I create and multiply in the virtual reality of my mind. Help me mortify the flesh and its passion, which initially only exist in my mind and imagination. Help me eradicate them before they give birth to sin. (James 1:12-18)

Lord, thank you for these anonymous brothers that are holding the line with me and even encouraging me to pursue righteousness. Give them grace as well Lord.

 

Brother, how do I move this thread into the journaling section? Or will I need to just create a new one in that section?
Thanks!

 

To be honest, I can’t do it.

And I’ve left that lifestyle behind. I’m done with it. I’m not living with the guilt anymore because I’ve moved away from that.

That’s the truth. And the truth of the matter is that I will take some things to the grave with me that only God knows about me.

Kinda like the Scarlett Letter. Have you ever read that book?

 

Trust me man, I’m like your name; “the worst is over.”

Btw, are you a man or a woman? Curious, because I’ve only been called out to take such action by women on this forum.

 

Trust me…me coming clean with my wife about porn after hiding and lying to her about me being “free” from it for like 7 years was a crazy pivotal moment in our marriage. It’s held me accountable from porn and masturbation. And then being accountable here about visiting massage parlors has been very effective so far.

Haven’t relapsed yet and not planning to. I’m done with that life.

And so I’m on this forum to just affirm that new vantage point and perspective in my life and to encourage others. And also to be encouraged by the story of other guys.

How about you? Why are you on here?

 

Hey bro, I’m not trying to impress you. Haha I actually want to only impress myself and price to myself that I’m a man of my word. And yea man, I know he struggle. I had a crazy day today and almost got triggered but was able to calm down and was actually surprised by how I didn’t seek to “relieve myself” after our heated argument. A few months ago, if the same thing happened, I would have gone to watch porn or gone to an AMP to have some random person “love on me.”

I’m glad that I’m in a place of my sexual detox where I’m not enslaved to the impulses of my brain but am actively submitting it to my will and convictions. It’s amazing to be Ina place of more self control and discipline. All by God grace. I honestly don’t know how the heck I’ve been able to handle and disregard the “false promises” of the sexual urges.

 

Bro, the pornography won’t be too much for her. Trust me. It’s like a statistical fact that a majority of men watch porn either occasionally, consistently, or obsessively. So it might surprise your wife, but it’s nowhere close to the harm that prostitution can do to your family.

I’ve found that revealing my porn addiction has given me the grounds and conviction to forsake and fight the AMP addiction. I shed light on part of it and the rest of the monster started to die off as well.

But, in the end, it’s your choice. Also, a trusted pastor would be very helpful to confide in.