Going on a 50 day streak

Day 66

Had a day full of activities. Met my GF and we had sex, but we didn’t O. Great to experience the intimacy without a forcefulness. Before my reboot, O was the goal and sex was the (quick) means to get there.

Work-out:
Didn’t do the workout. I also didn’t take a walk. Was busy all day and brought my GF home late.

Netflix:
No time to Netflix! Didn’t miss it.

Meditation:
Met my GF and had only time to fit 10 minutes in.

Your Brain On Porn/Study:
Spoke a lot about what I've read with my GF. Walking on the street when it’s hot and sunny, used to be a trigger. Now it’s not anymore, but the sensitized pathways are still there. I feel the surge of Dopamine in my body from looking around on the street, but this is not a trigger anymore. I feel it has become the fear of being triggered. The fear of looking at someone and getting a fantasy.

Sleep:
Slept late again as I brought back the GF late. Wasn’t able to properly do my routine.

 

Day 8
Without even noticing mad it past the first week. I would love to keep it up - first goal is 30 days without PM.

Good luck everyone that recently joined!

 

Good on ya! 30 days coming right up

 

Day 67

Yesterday was a hot day. And I see that that makes it more difficult to stay active. I spoke of the fear of getting triggered, which was there yesterday as well. But instead of avoiding looking at people out of fear, I would now look at people intentionally and tell myself that they are human beings. I want them to feel safe. PMO has no room when I think that. Meditation through mindfulness has greatly helped.

Work-out:
Did an extended workout with my dumbbell. Finished off with planking and push ups. Took a walk in the evening.

Netflix:
Had an hour of Netflix. Because it was so hot, I just wanted to melt away with Netflix on. But I didn’t do that.

Meditation:
Spent 30 minutes meditating. I've done a lucid dreaming meditation for the first time and I want to experiment with this a bit.

Your Brain On Porn/Study:
Dopamine Nation speaks about the detrimental effects of being overwhelmed with Dopamine all day long. I've now come to a part about Dopamine Fasting and am very interested to learn how to do this. I feel my daily routine is already helping me so much and I can withstand many things so much easier. I still do so much mindless Googling everything that I think I can really do without.

Sleep:
Slept a bit later, but I feel really rested. Woke up earlier today, as it is my intention to go for a morning run.

 

I am in already completed 3 days starting from day 4.

 

Day 68

I allowed myself space yesterday to do things differently. And perhaps I shouldn’t have been so easy in that. What is important in a reboot is that you don’t give yourself too much space too soon. Although I enjoyed taking a morning run, it did cause me to start my job later.

Work-out:
Did a run in the morning. Did an extended workout with my dumbbell. Took my walk in the evening.

Netflix:
Watched half an hour of a serie detailing the life of a feudal Japanese warlord. Very interesting, but I didn’t have more time to watch.

Meditation:
Spent 30 minutes on meditation and did a guided Wim Hof meditation for the first time. I really liked it, but I also thought it was heavy. After doing it, I felt lightheaded and my fingers tingled like crazy. Wim says that’s a good sign.

Your Brain On Porn/Study:
In Dopamine Nation, the writer speaks about addiction to Dopamine rich substances. Our world is flooded with Dopamine rich impulses and we need to learn to moderate this. When going into depth about the methods in doing this, she speaks about moderation through self-binding. This means as much as finding ways to negotiate yourself to stop doing the thing you don’t want to do anymore. First of all, its important not to do this with PMO, as you’ll be sucked in right away. Practice this with the tike you go to bed, the food that you eat, the social media exposure you have, etc. You can limit the time you use or the occasion you use. I'm for example self binding myself to limit my use of Netflix, because I know it can lead to PMO. Therefore I only allow myself one hour of Netflix per day.

Sleep:
Slept a bit later as I was speaking things through with the GF. I said something that caused something in her and it needed clarifying.

 

Day 4 completed

 

Day 5 complete

 

Day 69

I took it easy yesterday. I was busy with a number of things, but didn’t try to exert myself too much. Noticed yesterday that a bit of anxiety is present when I go out and see people. I was aware of that in the supermarket and during my evening walk yesterday. It can be many things, but as I don’t go out to my job and am keeping a lot of energy in, I feel it’s a telltale sign that something is coming out. Perhaps that fear was always there, but is now coming out.

Work-out:
Did an extended dumbell workout and finished with 32 push ups. Took a walk in the evening.

Netflix:
Watched Age of the Samurai for approximately 25 minutes or so. Kept my screentime to 4,5 h total doing everything.

Meditation:
I did 30 minutes of meditation in two sessions. Session 1 was a guided Wim Hof meditation and session 2 was a relaxation meditation. It helps me greatly to become calm and focused.

PMO Study:
Read in Dopamine Nation. The writer speaks about the pleasure – pain balance. When you PMO you feel pleasure, but your brain balances that out. Sometimes you already feel pain and do PMO to feel good again. In her book, she writes about that the balance of addicts is seriously out of whack and that we need to rebalance it again. Its not only that we do PMO that it is out if whack, but that it leads to do all kind of other things to numb the pain. So when we rebalance it, we need to take on everything that is connected to numbing our pain which leads to PMO. For me this is watching Social Media, watching YouTube, watching Netflix, and through this reboot, I'm trying to rebalance myself again in all aspects.

Sleep:
Slept on time and was able to start my routine early.

 

Day 70 – woop woop!

Had a lovely day yesterday. Was able to relax despite the weather, and could pick up some new things to do. Met my GF yesterday and we were speaking some things through. Bought the book Nonviolent Communication and started to learn how to express my feelings without accusing the other.
We cooked a lovely dinner and we were intimate. Like all the times, we didn’t O. Looking back, I think I O'd two times last seventy days.

Work-out:
Did a simple dumbbell workout, but did not take a walk.

Netflix:
Watched Age of the Samurai for 40 minutes. It’s kinda interesting to learn more about the history of Japan in this way. Consumed some psychology podcasts.

Meditation:
I did 15 minutes of meditation, as I spent some time with the GF. My session was a Wim Hof meditation. Where my fingers would be tingling the first time after this meditation, I now felt really energized.

PMO Study:
Read in Dopamine Nation. The writer speaks about her experiences of addiction treatment and how healing this may be for the addicted. In various circumstances, the treatment is scary at first but becomes really good. Another thing mentioned in the book to treat initial addictive responses is to talk a cold shower. Really don’t like them, but I'll try to get used to the idea. Perhaps I'll do them eventually, as many fapstronauts swear by them.

Sleep:
Slept a bit later, but feel really rested.

 

DAY 7 COMPLETED

 

Day 71

No urges yesterday. Woke up with morning wood, but was able to ignore it. My GF noticed that I started to be very loose with my daily routine. It’s not that I intended to be loose, but I allow myself too much space. An example is to Netflix behind my desk. Not a good idea when I’m trying to work there. Instead I should go downstairs and Netflix there and keep it away from my working area. It’s learning and applying stuff all the time.

Work-out:
Did an elaborate dumbbell work out. Took a walk in the evening

Netflix:
Watched Age of the Samurai and its nice to learn something about Japanese history.

Meditation:
I did 30 minutes of meditation and 2 sessions. A sped up Wim Hof meditation and a relaxation meditation. Heavy stuff!

PMO Study:
Read the success stories on NoFap and was inspired by fellow fapstronauts whom have managed to have long gterm sobriety. Like 300 or more days of abstinence. It boils down to having a routine, having great help and having a clear goal. Some people relapse after a big streak and say that their routine was fucked up. This allowed the PMO ritual to start again.

So to all who are struggling: keep the door closed and keep fighting the fight.

Sleep:
Feel really rested, but woke up a few times. As my bedroom is on the front side of the house, it easily gets hot from the morning sun. Great in winter, not so great in the scorching summer.

 

Day 8 urges rising

 

Day 72

No urges yesterday. And for 72 days, I'm not PMO'ing and transforming my life. Every now and my GF notes that I have the tendency to take it easy on myself. Meaning, I give myself permission to not follow my routine on certain days. After having multiple moments in which I broke my routine 2 days ago, it suddenly dawned that following suite is the most important thing in beating PMO. I shouldn't allow myself to break it so easily. So from now on, I will follow my routine to the letter.

Work-out:
Did my workout and took a long walk in the evening. Always set out to go for a walk at max. 9 PM and I did.

Netflix:
Watched Fubar, as I wanted to see something easily digestible. Made the choice to watch Netflix ónly on the kitchen table. Not on my study, not on my bedroom and also not on the living room coach.

Meditation:
Did 40 minutes / 3 sessions of meditation! Session 1 was a relaxation meditation on music, session 2 was a Wim Hof meditation and session 3 was box breathing. It's a great addition to my day.

PMO Study:
Read Dopamine Nation and came across a part that speaks about 'hormetic' healing. Meaning, small pain to easy big pain. There are many things that are suggested in the book, but it mainly speaks about exerting yourself through working out hard so you feel this pain rather than the pain your addiction causes. Ice baths / cold showers were another thing that were suggested which are supposedly very effective in treating feeling of addiction.

Sleep:
Had a good routine, no delay. Went to bed on time, but woke up a few times because of the heat

 

Day 73

Met my girl yesterday and we had sex, but didn't O. Couldn't get enough of her, which resulted in waking up with my dick on fire. This only happens when I'm incredible aroused. No urge to touch the D, so I'm good. I journaled in my notebook what I feel and how I stand in my process and that always does me good.

Work-out:
Did my workout and took a walk with my GF.

Netflix:
Watched Fubar. Almost an hour. Notice that I'm usually browsing Google when I'm bored. This results in a high screentime, but I try to prevent that

Meditation:
Did 25 minutes / 2 sessions. Session 1 was a Wim Hof meditation and session 2 was relaxation meditation on music.

PMO Study:
Didn't really study yesterday, but thought about something. When I walk on the street I notice that I feel dirty for wanting to look at people, just in case a trigger might come. I would get this rush when I saw someone and tried to look away as much as possible, because I have told myself that I can't watch people. Instead, I am now wondering what it is that I feel when I watch people on the street. I found out it's just the rush of doing something that I thought I wasn't allowed to do. When I allow myself all the rush seeps out of it.

Sleep:
Did my routines and brought my GF back on time.

 

Day 9 completed starting day 10

 

Awesome! Keep fighting the fight!

 

Day 10 completed

 

Day 74

Spent the whole day at a father's day event yesterday. Picked up my girl and drove to my parents. Had quality time with my parents and had the opportunity to sneak out with the GF to have a forest adventure. We didnt O, but it didn't take much to get there. Returned to the scene afterwards and went our for dinner.

*Edit: After coming home, I felt like Netflixing in order to leave the day behind. As late night Netflixing is never a good idea, I almost bought it. My GF was able to change my mind.

Work-out:
Took a long walk in the forest with my GF. No workout

Netflix:
Watched 10 minutes of Fubar. Didn't have more time due to the father's day event.

Meditation:
Did 10 minutes after I came home late from my parents.

PMO Study:
Read in Dopamine Nation. The writer described how therapy has changed her life and how she sees it changed the life of her patients. She was encouraged to follow the twelve steps of the AA to deal with her difficult mother. It was inspiring to see how things can be dealt with in a systematic manner.

Sleep:
Did my routines, but was in bed late. Slept well