Greetings

Hello everyone, my name is botme (an odd and random nickname). I suffered with porn addiction as a young teen. We had internet, but my family took it away when everyone was just using it for PMO. At 27 years old I discovered nofap for the first time. It took me three years but I was finally able to go six months into recovery, however, I got sick and found out I had an std from a girl I knew 8 months prior. I got the cure, but the cure made me feel sick for a few weeks, and also I got mentally down. I only was curious about masturbating again after so long so I did and it wasn't bad, and I kept going after. But then I thought about it again and did it again. This time it started getting more frequent, and it eventually lead to PMO instead of just mo. Now, over the summer, I fought to get another 21 day streak and binged. It became a binge cycle every three weeks, ( I'd go three weeks then relapse few times.) Then it became even more frequent, and currently I'm addicted again, and now that cycle is happening every week. Week clean, then week binge, and it has been difficult to get out of that trap. Anyway, I'm here to fight again. I'm trying something new this time where I don't call it nofap anymore, ( I don't want to focus on porn, whether staying abstinent or engaging.) I haven't got it all figured out yet, but I decided to go back to some science classes and try new things to focus on rather than busting my nut. I was just barely a week clean until yesterday, and yesterday I jerked six times and once this morning. After this morning though, I decided to make an account here and post this story. I'm preparing for another streak, and I'm going to do it this time! Yes, I feel very confused and I don't have much momentum, however, writing this is increasing motivation for me, even if it is very little. I'm not going to sit and cry, that's not what we do nofap for, we do nofap to stop crying over stupid shit and become men. Anyway, I just wanted to write this story, and I might not be on here much since I don't want to just focus on nofap. I'm attempting to practice nofap while only trying to focus on the healthy habits I will use to replace fap. This time I will redevelop healthy habits and start them immediately even if I don't feel like it, and it's hard to focus. I must do this, baby steps maybe, but I realized this time I can't just focus on nofap and expect it to do all the work, while I just neglect everything else. I hope this helps anyone trying to get back on track after a binge, because I've had gone through this many times and even though it seems like I'll never get out of these cycles, I'm learning something new and gaining a new strategy everytime. So, with that being said, let's move forward and do this together, because another issue I face is trying to do this on my own. I'm botme, and I'm out.